Asexual Perspectives Answers | What Advice Would You Have Given A Younger Version Of Yourself In Regard To Asexuality?

Posted on by Asexualise

 Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories bookIn my Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Love, Life and Sex, ACElebration Of Asexual Diversity book I asked each person I interviewed for the book this question:

If you were to look back at your life, what advice would you have given a younger version of yourself in regard to asexuality?

In Chapter 48, on page 450 of the printed edition of Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, South American Anonymous’s answer to this question is awe-inspiring:

Seriously, I would explain to myself everything I know about orientations and genders right now and I would emphasise that we are not broken, and there’s nothing wrong with being who we are, and what other people say doesn’t matter and we should have more courage to face what’s up ahead. 

In Chapter 45, on page 418 of the printed edition of Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Claire Evelyn’s answer is short and spot on!

That it is okay to follow your own path and not follow the masses.

In Chapter 20, on page 196 of the printed edition of Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Geeske Van Der Poel’s answer is important to note:

Asexuality is not wrong, just be who you are. You Should not feel guilty for not giving your parents any grandchildren, either.

In Chapter 13, on page 121 of the printed edition of Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, always remember Dee’s advice:

Don’t have any sex unless you’re confident you want it. 

In Chapter 10, on page 88 of the printed edition of Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Nikki has valuable advice to share:

Realize earlier that it is ok! I thought for ages that I was just slow to develop the urges and interests everyone my age had and pushed myself to be a participant in sexual culture. I would tell my younger self that I’m fine the way I am and to find the confidence to participate in our sexually charged culture in an asexual way.

If you want more fantastic advice like this, from real life asexuals across the globe, get a copy of my Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Love, Life and Sex ACElebration of Asexual Diversity book here if you live in the UK https://amzn.to/2WeBlhf or here if you live in the USA https://amzn.to/2WedNZI It is also available across many other Amazon stores and can be requested from all good book stores in print format, as it’s published using my own publishing imprint of Quirky Books, which is a registered publisher in the UK, and I use Amazon to publish and distribute the books globally for me. I also have the ebook version available at www.sellfy.com/quirkybooks.net

 

 

 

18 Benefits Of Being Asexual And Not Sexually Attracted To Anyone!

Posted on by Asexualise

Asexualise T Shirt18 benefits of being asexual and not sexually attracted to anyone!

1 – We can easily say no to those asking for sex.

2 – We can easily block those people who message us to be friends but really want sex.

3 – We can dance in nightclubs and bars, knowing no matter how much someone pleads with us to have sex, the answer is no.

4 – When someone offers in a bar or club to go back to theirs for a drink, we know it means sex and can say a definite no.

5 – We are careful who we add to our Facebook friends list because we have high standards and don’t want sex.

6 – We understand that the majority of people who say let’s do Netflix and chill, really mean let’s have sex and get hot and sweaty.

7 – We don’t have to dress up and put makeup on to be appealing for having sex, we can just chill in our pjs or superhero/cute outfits and have fun.

8 – We can kiss and touch if we want to, without it ever leading to sex.

9 – We cannot get pregnant from all that sex we are not having.

10 – We have more time and energy to do other things and be productive, whilst others are having sex and preparing themselves for it.

11 – We can be trusted to never physically cheat on you, because we don’t ever want sex with anyone. We are more loyal and faithful in this way, by default.

12 – We can experience multiple other attractions, just not sexual. And we can separate these different types of attractions.

13 – We can potentially be in a relationship with someone who is impotent, celibate, or who has a disability which prevents them from having sex. Because we don’t ever need sex. And we can love them as they are.

14 – Our love for someone is based more on a person’s personality, and their heart, mind, and soul, because we don’t need their genitals to keep up happy and attract us to them.

15 – Our love is based on a deep emotional connection, that needs to be maintained and sustained, to have a long, loving, happy, healthy, relationship, because it’s not based on sex but bestest ever friendship and soulmate connection. In this way it’s the purest love you can get, as genitals are not involved.

16 – Asexuals who want a serious relationship are more likely to put the time, energy, and effort, into getting a relationship and making it work, as it’s rarer for us to be able to get someone in the first place.

17 – Asexuals are more likely to get into relationships with people they have lots in common with, such as hobbies and interests, so there is more chance of longevity.

18 – Asexuals are different and their uniqueness is their gift the world. We are free of conditioning and social conformities, and have the ability to see people and the world, in a completely different way to everyone else. Which is like a superpower and special gift.

 

These are 18 benefits of asexuals who are not sexually attracted to anyone! Asexuality is a spectrum, so in general, those on the Grey Asexual end of the asexual spectrum, can sometimes feel sexual attraction, under limited, rare, or specific circumstances. Or they can experience it, but not enough to want to act on it.

Also some asexuals can cheat emotionally and also I have known of a few who are chatting up multiple women at once, or in a relationship and still pursuing another with someone else.

Some asexuals who love sexuals, can find it hard to say no to having sex, or to stop the connection. This is why it’s super important to be upfront and honest about the fact you are asexual before you get into a relationship, especially if you don’t want sex at all. Remember it’s your body and your life, and you always have the ability to walk away. And if you discovered you are asexual while in a relationship, always remember, it’s better to be single, than to be with someone who is sexually incompatible and you can’t make each other happy. There are a few sexuals who can be in relationships with asexuals without sex, and if you are an asexual person who doesn’t mind having sex, then a relationship with a sexual person could work, depending on if you can both agree on standards, boundaries, and expectations for the relationship, both now and for your future together, to be happy and satisfying to both/all people concerned.

I’m back online! But it’s not that simple!

Posted on by Asexualise

It’s Friday 22nd March 2019, and I’m back online! But it’s not that simple!

Asexualise.com was offline for some time due to being hacked, to protect your online safety while I got the issue fixed. I deleted all infected files and used an old site backup from last year, which over-rides the current site and in the process, consequently deleted all the blog posts from November 5th inclusive.

One of my new friends recently said, that he believes in miracles as he experiences them every day. And I was thrilled to see another version of my site – the December version, on my IPad. So I am able to re-type up, and re-publish, 6 of those previous posts! (I still wish I had the others.) The beauty of this, is if you missed any, you will be able to catch up with them in close succession. So I best get typing them up. Good job I love write and blog! I hope you enjoy the new theme and look of this Asexualise.com site? Please let me know what you think of it in the comments below!

Until next time, stay ace.

Sandra xx

 

Emmerdale UK Soap Character Liv Is Asexual

Posted on by Asexualise
Liv is asexual

EMMERDALE CHARACTER LIV IS ASEXUAL – COULD THIS FINALLY BE THE RECOGNITION ASEXUALS NEED FOR SOCIETY TO ACCEPT US?

Finally we have an asexual character in a major soap opera, in the UK. Emmerdale character Liv is asexual. Could this finally be the recognition asexuals need for society to accept us? https://metro.co.uk/2019/01/30/emmerdale-spoilers-liv-flaherty-opens-up-to-jacob-gallagher-about-her-asexuality-during-a-date-8348471/

Although there is far more media publicity about asexuality than there ever was before, with articles, radio interviews, and a few documentaries popping up, including one on Sky News, and one last year with BBC3, I believe what we really need is to have asexuals to be seen in the media for prologue periods of time, and consistently. Rather than there only being one article, radio or TV interview, as and when! This is why I am so thrilled that Liv is asexual, and that finally it should lead to the recognition asexuality deserves within society, as a sexual orientation in its own right.

Having Liv as the first asexual character of a major soap in the UK, will, I believe, pave the way forward for other soaps to follow suit! What happens in Emmerdale, usually emerges soon after in Coronation Street, and Eastenders. So not only will this Emmerdale storyline be amazing for asexuality, in and of itself, it should have a domino effect and rollout into all the other major UK soaps, which in turn should push other TV programmes to do the same, and asexuality should finally start appearing in major films too. If fact, it’s already happening in other soaps! With Tyrone in Coronation Street mentioning the word Asexual, before Emmerdale does in its programme!

Can’t wait to find out which character they confirm is asexual, I’m waiting for it …

I have been approached by people who have revealed their plans for getting asexuality to a more global audience, such as through films, so lets see what happens. I am excited about what the future holds for asexuals and asexuality.

Until next time, as always, stay ace.

Sandra xx

ASEXUALISE DATING SUCCESS STORY | How Two Asexual Grey Romantics Found Love In Asexualise No Sex Dating Group!

Posted on by Asexualise

I am absolutely thrilled that two people in my Asexualise Dating group, specifically for asexuals who never want sex, have formed a meaningful asexual no sex relationship! And what’s particularly interesting with this success story, is both the happy couple are on the aromantic asexual spectrum (those who lack romantic attraction and sexual attraction). Asexual Love is ace!

I interviewed Patricia to discover more about how this asexual relationship started. Here are her answers told in her own words …

What was your relationship status was before you joined the group and what difficulties you were having finding someone suitable for a relationship?

I was single when I joined the group. I wasn’t really having a hard time with finding a relationship. It wasn’t an important thing in my life. It just wasn’t the most important thing.

How did you come across the Asexualise Dating group specifically for those who never want sex?

I came across the group looking for friends and if it turns into something else great. I was in other ace groups and I saw this one and decided to give it a go. I wasn’t too sure what to expect with a relationship. I have seen a lot of older movies with romance, so I kinda think I know what I want.

How long was it before you found your potential partner in the group?

I’m not sure. I’m bad with timeframes. I met one guy. He wasn’t supportive. My last friend died and I told him and he gave me no support. Next was Eric who I’m seeing now. So maybe a year.

Were there people in the group you liked before you met your partner but for some reason they weren’t suitable?

I never really looked for someone because I’m ace grey aromantic. So it’s wasn’t a huge thing, but I was interested in what I could find.

Who made the first move in terms of messaging and what happened?

Eric did I believe. We started talking in your Asexualise No Sex Dating group in September 2017 and continue talking. We got together in July 2018. I asked him with nervousness, and we felt the same! We had more of the cicadas that summer, and I would call him up as I walked to the senior centre where I volunteer. I would freak out over the birds shadow thinking it would be a cicada and I don’t want to deal with that! I hate bugs! But it’s nice… to have company on my walks. We make each other laugh. We both love video games, we both love nature. He has some albinism so he doesn’t like brightness. But I’m excited to learn Swedish. I’ve always liked the idea of Sweden since I watch the YouTuber PewDiePie. So I’m excited for that.

I know you both live in different countries. How are you planning to move over there? When will this happen? Do you already have a job lined up and will you live together or not at first?

Okay this a long one. He lives in Sweden. I live in the USA. I’m planning to apply for citizenship, but I have to live in the USA for a year, so probably in 2020 I will move. I don’t know when in 2020 though. I plan on moving into his apartment. It will be awkward at first because I have lived on my own for so long, as he has also. So yeah, it will be awkward. I don’t currently have a job, I’m unable to work. I have a cat and puppy, both female.They will be coming too. So no, I don’t have a job lined up, I plan on applying for sick pay. It will also be a good mental and emotional health booster to get away from toxic family members.

Also he and I want a Nordic wedding. NO real wedding plans yet! Just silly talk of it. But I do make jokes that I want an all white wedding, but would he blend in as he has some albino in him, lol! We haven’t said, “I love you yet” but we may in the future when we are physically together.

What would you say to anyone else who is asexual and not looking for sex ever and thinking about joining the group?

I would say, finding a partner takes time and could take longer than me. Moving would be a big thing, but it will need to be done for it to work out.

What advice would you give to other asexuals in general, who are looking for a serious relationship with another asexual without sex?

It takes time. Friendships are important to make as they could turn into something more. When going into the dating scene look for a friendship first. Let it grow. Take your time. Don’t rush.

I need to stress it is so important to have a caring and supportive relationship. He and I are so caring and supportive of each other. I love how we can laugh about things. Also I tend to rant and he will calmly let me know and I stop. He doesn’t judge. I don’t either. If people want to get an idea of how we are, just look up the gif series milkandmocha (milk and mocha) it’s sooo us!

Don’t give up. There is hope for those who are ace and grey aromantics, because Eric and I are both grey aro and we were lucky enough to find each other. I’m agender though and he respects that. That makes me happy. So yeah we make each other very happy.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you are reading this and you are asexual (not sexual), and you want to join this Asexualise no sex dating group, for asexuals who never want sex, how can you apply?

If you are asexual, single, and never want sex, ever, you can apply to be in my Asexualise Dating group, for asexuals who are looking for a serious and committed no sex ever relationship. There will be questions to answer in order to gain access to the group and not everyone is guaranteed to be accepted, however, many are! Here is the link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/acexualisedating/

If however you are on the more Grey Asexual or Demisexual end of the Asexual Spectrum and/or, you may want or be wiling to have sex upon occasion, then please don’t request to be in my no sex ever dating group and request to be in this one instead https://www.facebook.com/groups/greyacexualdatinganddemiacexualdating/

If you are asexual and just looking for asexual friends, then please request to join this group https://www.facebook.com/groups/acefriendsrus/

Thanks so much to Patricia and Eric for sharing their wonderful Asexualise Dating successful love story and explaining how they met in my Asexualise Dating group, which is specifically for those asexuals who never want sex ever. I wish you lots of love and happiness forever xx

And if you are looking for more relationship insights, don’t forget to get a copy of my Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Love, Life and Sex, ACElebration of Asexual Diversity book here  ASEXUAL PERSPECTIVES

BOOK: KINDLE http://amzn.to/2l8kppt

PAPERBACK: http://amzn.to/2td7y8D (UK) http://amzn.to/2tMXhls

PDF https://sellfy.com/quirkybooks.net

Until next time, as always, stay ace!

Sandra xx

Happy International Celebrate Being Single Day! How are you practising self-love today? Self-love quotes to inspire you!

Posted on by Asexualise

Happy International Celebrate Being Single Day. Don’t forget to use #ICBSD in your Tweets and posts to show how happy you are being single and how you are celebrating it.

Today is about celebrating being single and being happy to be single. It’s about celebrating self-love and the freedom you have as a beautiful solo artist of life!

On International Celebrate Being Single Day, I usually go on a self-date somewhere on my own to celebrate being single. Today, is a different experience for me, as I am celebrating being single and self-love with an asexual romantic guy friend. Yes, it is kind of ironic that two asexual romantics are celebrating being single together for International Celebrate Being Single Day, which is the same day as Valentine’s Day. We are going to the aquarium in a place called Plymouth in the UK and then for a meal in Nandos– which is a Portuguese style chicken restaurant chain! Although their first restaurant was in South Africa.

Here is a self-love video I created on my Inspiration Inspired channel to inspire you to love yourself from within, don’t forget to subscribe for more inspiring quote videos!

And if you missed this video from a previous post with quotes about why it’s so good to be single, please watch it now and share it with a friend to celebrate this joyous ‘Celebrate Being Single Day’ today.

How are you celebrating being single today?

Until next time, stay ace, and have an ace day!

Lots of self-love and love from me.

Sandra xx

Single Quotes | Quotes About Being Single And Being Happy To Be Single | Feel Good Single Quotes

Posted on by Asexualise

With it being International Celebrate Being Single Day tomorrow; I created this video of single quotes. Within this video are feel good single quotes from other people, and my own quotes about being happy to be single. So it will put you in the mood for celebrating being happy to be single on International Celebrate Being Single Day #ICBSD

Until next time, stay ace
Sandra xx

New Asexualise Asexual Merchandise Page Super Simple To Use New Asexual Merch Page Shop For Asexualise Merch On Asexualise.com

Posted on by Asexualise

Asexualise Asexual Merch #asexuality

I have a new Asexualise Asexual Merchandise page that is super simple to use. It has separate links to every product category within my www.redbubble.com/people/asexualise/shop See all those categories on the left of the screenshot above; you can click through each one individually to find the product you want, super quickly. Or if you can click on those links below directly from this blog post!

Click on any of the individual product category links below to take you through to the relevant page for the designs of that item in my Asexualise Redbubble Shop.

Acrylic Blocks

Art Boards

Art Prints

Canvas Prints

Clocks

Drawstring Bags

Dresses

Duvet Covers

Framed Prints

Galaxy Cases & Skins

Greetings Cards

Hardcover Journals

iPad Cases & Skins

iPhone Cases & Covers

iPhone Wallets

Laptop Skins

Leggings

Metal Prints

Mini Skirts

Mugs

Photographic Prints

Pillows & Cushions

Postcards

Posters

Scarves

Spiral Notebooks

Stickers

Studio Pouches

Sweatshirts & Hoodies

T-Shirts

Tank Tops

Tote Bags

Wall Tapestries

Shop worldwide for Asexualise Asexual Merchandise at my Redbubble shop by clicking through the individual item labels above, or here https://www.redbubble.com/people/asexualise/shop

You can access this new asexual Asexualise “Merch” page here, or from the ‘Merch’ Tab at this site, or currently from the home page. Shop now for Asexualise Merch on www.asexualise.com

Happy Shopping.

Sandra xx

Life without sex – Asexuality explained | Asexuality Documentary Sky News! | Asexuality stereotypes busted!

Posted on by Asexualise

You can’t be sexy if you are asexual – Asexuality myth busted!

Sky News – Life without sex asexuality documentary – Asexuality Explained
Asexuality stereotypes busted! Heteronormative myths busted

In this Sky News life without sex asexuality documentary, asexuality is explained and asexual stereotypes are busted! Yasmin’s outer appearance when modelling is that of a very sexy, raunchy girl, who oozes sex appeal to many, yet she confesses she is asexual and aromantic; she lacks both sexual and romantic attraction, and she doesn’t pursue romantic relationships. When asked in this life without sex asexuality documentary how her modelling works with her asexuality when she is modelling in this highly sexualised environment, she says, “I’m not trying to sell myself – I’m selling a product”. She goes onto explain she started the #thisiswhatasexuallookslike because there is so many stereotypes surrounding asexuality and “lets give the diversity to asexual people to show who they are’.

You can’t be married, in a relationship, or love someone without sex! – Heteronormative myth busted!

In this documentary there is also a homoromantic guy couple (gay asexuals) Thom and Steve Winter-Gray, who have been married for 18 months. They explain that they both lack sexual attraction, but are romantic, they still like to kiss and cuddle, they just don’t have sex, and it’s more than just a bromance or platonic, it’s love, just they don’t experience sexual attraction and sex is not involved. They make an analogy to people loving their mum, dad, aunt, uncle, dogs, cats, and pets, but when asking people if they would have sex with them, people say no I don’t, and they said that is how it works for them.

Everyone loves sex, feels sexual attraction and wants it! – Heteronormative myth busted!

And finally there is a teenager, Emi Salida, who is a sex repulsed asexual. She explains how she is disconnected to sex and imagining certain people she has known before they get into a sexual relationship in a sexual context “it makes my brain kinda crash a little bit”.
Watch this amazing life without sex asexuality documentary, asexuality explained Sky News documentary!

And if you are looking for more real life asexual stories told in their own words, you can buy a copy of my Asexual Perspectives book here

ASEXUAL PERSPECTIVES BOOK: KINDLE http://amzn.to/2l8kppt
PAPERBACK: http://amzn.to/2td7y8D  (UK) http://amzn.to/2tMXhls
PDF https://sellfy.com/quirkybooks.net

Until next time, subscribe to this blog and stay ace!
Sandra xx

New Look Asexualise.com Blog Site!

Posted on by Asexualise
Sandra Bellamy intro photo

You may have noticed this Asexualise site has a new look? Asexualise has a spanking new ace look! Shop for Asexualise Merchandise ASEXUALISE ASEXUAL MERCHANDISE, browse asexual resources and learn more about asexuality, right here on Asexualise.com

Unfortunately I had to remove the shop from this site as it kept causing technical difficulties and stopped it from working properly. I could barely access the blog in the admin section, (behind-the-scenes), to write a new post! Hence why this is the first post since Christmas! So I have cleaned out the old theme and got a new one and a fresh new look! I hope you like it?

Let me know what you think in the comments below and of any other features or blog articles you would like to see!

Until next time, stay ace

Sandra xx