YOUNG ASEXUAL LOVE – WHAT’S IT LIKE FOR AN OLDER ASEXUAL WOMAN TO LIKE YOUNGER ASEXUAL GUYS

Posted on by Asexualise
Asexual older girl looks for asexual younger guy

AGE GAP LOVE

So what’s it like for an older asexual woman to like younger asexual guys? It’s difficult, not from a loving part of view, but for the following reasons:

  • Because of the stigma surrounding older women liking younger guys – still! I could not care less what people think as I know I am meant to be with a younger guy, but it’s not just about me, it’s what the younger guy believes and his family – in a nutshell though, if he is not proud to be with me, he can take a hike as is obviously not right for me and it’s not meant to be! My parents are cool with me wanting to be with a much younger guy in birth certificate age in his 20s as they know how young I am, how young I like to be, and my young interests. An older guy, or anyone near my birth certificate age would be too old for me and not suitable!
  • Similarly you have the fact that some younger guys like an older woman but are secretive about it and may say loving, caring stuff towards you in private, then publicly pretend they don’t like older women – like why would they! At the end of the day, this guy is not worth my time and energy and it’s no go! They obviously have the problem not being able to authentically be themselves in life. Of course culture and background can influence this, but that does not mean it’s right or good for me. So it’s no go!
  • Because of the differences in being in two different countries – I have the added complication of preferring to be with an asexual foreign guy, rather than British, and I live in the UK and love it, and my specific flat I live in, so moving is not an option for me. And if for example, a guy is in his early 20s and lives abroad, he usually lacks the finances and resources to move over here, which leads to heartache and heartbreak – at best we remain friends, at worse it results in blocking this person out of my life for good.

It’s hard to find a younger foreign guy who is genuine about his feelings for me. Younger guys, in particularly foreign, as I have most experience with them, tend to be liars and not genuine in their feelings for me, and want to be with me to get something out of me, such as:

  • Marriage, which I don’t want ever anyway – so it’s nope!
  • To use me for my business brain to progress their own career – not with me – not happening! They want my business mentorship, they can pay for it like anyone else!
  • And similarly using me for business opportunities – not happening, I build my businesses from scratch and I work damn hard, so I am not about to give any of that over to someone I don’t know that well, who has just come into my life to take what he can get, not happening!
  • For me to give them job in the UK – No, if you want to be with me for me, go find your own job and work hard like I do.
  • For them to live with me. No, I rent, and love my flat, and only allowed one person to live in it, so that is not an option with me! I also like living on my own and have done so for years, if you want to live around the corner from me, that would be ace, but you need to be proactive with that and not expect to live with me as I am happier on my own in that respect.
  • For me to cook, clean, do housework, and “look after them”. No, no, no! I am not a mother or housemaid, cleaner upper, or slave! Not happening. I hate these things, so why would you want me to be unhappy in my life by expecting or wanting me to do these things for you? This is not putting my best interests at heart but yours, you must do you own housework, cooking, and cleaning! If you want to cook for me, fine, but don’t expect this back as I don’t like cooking or enjoy it, I will cook the bare minimum for myself only and do only the minimal amount of housework to get by! Life is for living, not focusing on housework and such! Doesn’t make me happy, so it’s not happening. If you want emotional support, I can give you that! If you want bestest ever friendship and a kind, caring, and loving life partner personality, I can give you that. If you want kisses and cuddles and someone to go out to the movies with to watch kids or superhero films and eat out, that would be ace! But you need to love me for me, not for what you can get out of me!

Aside from these complications, there is the feelings complications. What I mean by this is, I don’t feel comfortable being physically close to an older guy or a guy anywhere near my own with certificate age, it may seem ironic but I feel it would be liking dating my dad, not literally, but you get what I mean and that is gross!

I don’t see myself as the birth certificate age I am. I see myself as a young business girl, who is happy to look like a girl, with a lot of experience and knowledge, who is super intelligent, with some male traits, rather than being an adult “woman”. In fact I like to be called girl most of the time, not woman, apart from in business – then it’s okay to be called girl or woman!

With much younger (foreign) guys in their 20s, I can see me cuddling and kissing the right one, I can see me being in their cuddle, I don’t get this with older guys, I am not attracted to manly or macho men, can’t stand them to be honest! I don’t mind having older British guys as mates only and yes, I can hug them hello or goodbye, but that is it!

If I was with an older guy, he would be foreign, as I think foreign guys in general – look younger anyway most of the time! Or at least the ones I zoom in on more are, but I really cannot see me being with an older guy, only with a younger guy in his 20s. This is when I am my most comfortable, both talking wise, physically, and soulmate type wise! One day I hope my wish comes true because I really believe I am worth it and it would be ace!

Until next time, stay ace.

Sandra xx

 

What Is A Cupioromantic? Can Aromantic Asexuals Be Romantic?

Posted on by Asexualise

What is a Cupioromantic? You may come across this term on asexual dating sites and in asexual groups and forums. But what does it mean to be a Cupioromantic? A Cupioromantic is someone who is aromantic and although lacking in romantic attraction, still desires a romantic relationship! But in practise what does this mean! And can aromantics really be romantic, if they lack romantic attraction? Watch this video to find out more!

In case you didn’t know, there are both Asexual aromantics – those who lack sexual attraction and romantic attraction and sexual aromantics – those who lack romantic attraction but who are still sexual and experience sexual attraction.

 

Grey-Romantic Vs Demi-Romantic! What is the difference between Grey-Romantic and Demi-Romantic?

Posted on by Asexualise
Demiromantic and Grey romantic

What is the difference between Grey-Romantic and Demi-Romantic? Is a question that seems to come up regularly in asexual groups and asexual forums. So I decided to create a video about it and I hope it helps you. If you have any questions about Grey-Romantic and Demi-Romantic, please leave it in the comments below! Thanks for watching.

Until next time, stay ace!

Sandra xx

P.S. I found this neat Demiromantic flag merchandise on Amazon! https://amzn.to/2lEzPjv

 

ASEXUAL DATING – DON’T BE AFRAID TO BLOCK!! FACEBOOK BLOCKING

Posted on by Asexualise
It is okay to block

In my vast asexual dating experience, and particularly in asexual dating groups on Facebook, there are so many people who get worried about Facebook blocking someone who is clearly from an outside point of view being emotional abusive, nasty, or hurtful.

They spend ages worried about what the other person will think, about if that person really is being horrible to them, about maybe they should just keep the relationship going, give them chance after chance and feeling like they have to continue the relationship for some reason, or worse, that if they don’t continue it something bad will happen to them, or they will be harassed forever, (due to emotional and mental blackmail by the other person).

They sometimes realise the person is being harmful and hurtful, but still continue the relationship. This can be because they have feelings for them, or they feel it is less hassle to, or they think that person may change and don’t want to lose that connection. I totally get this as I used to be that type of person, but I learnt in my life that how we are treated is how we allow ourself to be treated, so if we feel bad because someone’s actions and attitude is not nice, disrespectful, rude, or abusive, we need to remove ourself from that situation and free ourself, instead of wasting our time and allowing ourself to be abused. I also learnt that another person’s problems is not MY problem, and that it is okay to walk away out of self-respect, self-love and self-worth!

I hope you found that helpful? Would love to hear what you think?

Until next time, stay ace

Sandra xx

ACE 21ST MINDSET BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION! Disneyland Paris!

Posted on by Asexualise
Disneyland Paris 25th Anniversary Birthday Special

 

Well today (24th of April), I get to be 21 again.

I am a huge believer in mindset being the key to success and happiness and that we get to choose:

  • Our mindset age.
  • The way we live our life.
  • Our own happiness.
  • And ultimately everything that comes from us.

For the past few years I have been getting younger in mindset and last year I decided to be 21 in mindset, and had my 21st mindset birthday in Disneyland Paris – which I so miss! I had a Toy Story decorated room which made me super excited! – The Wallpaper looked 3D in my opinion! What do you think?

I miss that place so much and really wished I could be back there again, it was at one with my soul and I felt totally at peace there. Lights, camera, action, noise – that makes me feel peaceful and incredibly happy. I like being different to everyone else and I enjoy noise and that type of environment. Actually it was very peaceful around the lake when walking back to my hotel on site at night. It was fabulous to be out at night and experiencing the reflection of the lights on the water and being able to walk on my own feeling very safe and happy, and that everyone there was singing from the same hymn sheet and just wanted to enjoy life and be happy and experience the magic, beauty, and wonder of it all.

If you missed my video last year of my highlights, here it is again!

For the previous two years prior to the last – so 2015/2016, I was 23 in mindset age, so I skipped a year, or rather I made a conscious decision to be 23 years for 2 years on the trot. I considered being 22 this year, but for now, I am very happy to stick with my 21st mindset that works so well for me. So I mostly get attracted to much younger guys in birth certificate age, in their 20s, and it’s really easy for me to get a sexual guy in his 20s to want a relationship with me, but an asexual guy in his 20s is harder, which I find quite ironic! I am really young in lifestyle and mindset and relate far better to younger guys. I really don’t believe I am the birth certificate age I am, I feel like it’s a joke, although I am super grateful for being born into this beautiful world.

And one of my blogging friends Ralph, who follows me on my www.quirkybooks.wordpress.com blog, has found a much younger true love and is going to be married soon, so there is hope for me to find my asexual true love, but right now I am happy being single and living life to the max, whatever happens!

If you have never seen my video from my Disneyland Paris 2014 trip of the elephant in the Rainforest Cafe, here it is

It’s the most popular video on my www.youtube.com/quirkybooksTV channel!

Until next time, stay ace!

Sandra xx

 

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Asexual Dating: What is an Asexual Womaniser? How to spot an Asexual Womaniser!

Posted on by Asexualise
ace womaniser

Did you know asexual guys can be womanisers too?

Is this video I explain how to spot an asexual womaniser – the asexual guys who go around chatting up multiple women; who date multiple women and make them feel like they are the ‘one’ for them; and who may be in a relationship and trying to get into another one, despite saying they are monogamous. There are no doubt manisers too, as I am heteroromantic, I am speaking from own personal experience.

I hope you find this helpful?

Until next time, stay ace!

Sandra xx

10 Benefits Of Being Alone: 10 Reasons Why It Is Good To Be Alone!

Posted on by Asexualise

I have noticed that a lot of asexuals feel alone and are lonely. I do understand this, especially as I am an extrovert asexual and like to get out and about and be around people about every 3 days.

I don’t usually feel lonely these days, but it can be isolating if I have not got out of my flat in a while! I like going out with friends and I am a social creature by nature, but I also have some introvert tendencies, in the sense that I enjoy my own company, like to switch off from the outside world now and then to explore and progress my creative pursuits and passions, and I also do a lot of solo work at home, building websites, writing blog posts, etc! Having said that, in-between doing my work, sometimes I will send an email reply to someone or reach out to someone via email, and I will often watch videos about my passions, which means I am still connected to people outside my home!

There are some huge benefits to being alone – I like to call it “being on my own and enjoying my own company”. The video above, has 10 reasons why it is good to be alone! Please watch it and let me know if you agree?

Until next time, stay ACE.

Sandra xx

Asexual Perspectives Book – A Different Take On Asexuality!

Posted on by Asexualise

ASEXUAL PERSPECTIVES BOOK

If you are still learning about asexuality or wanting to understand your orientation better, I wrote a non-fiction book to show you the difference across the asexual spectrum. This book is not full of text book definitions, but a different take on asexuality, of real life asexuals, revealing some very intimate aspects of their life to help you! http://amzn.to/2FT0nJO

•Learn the asexual perspectives of Aromantics; Heteroromantics; Homoromantics; Panromantics; Grey Aces; Demi-sexual; Biromantic; Agender; Transgender; Polyamorous and many more.

•Uncover Asexuals’ deepest fears, concerns and worries about being asexual.

•Find out possible reasons why, in general, society does not accept asexuality as a sexual orientation in its own right and what we can do about this to change the world!

•Discover what asexuals really believe are the differences between sexual attraction, sexual desire and arousal.

•Find out what asexuals really think of nudity; porn; masturbation; BDSM and kinks.

•Discover what it feels like to have sex as an asexual and how to cope with the sexualized world that we live in.

•Find out what asexuals think about living together, about marriage and about having kids.

•Discover what an ideal asexual relationship would look like and whether asexuals believe a relationship with a sexual would be fair or not.

•Uncover the positives about being asexual.

•Find out what advice asexuals would give to a younger version of themselves regarding asexuality and what advice they would give to others who are just discovering they may be asexual.

Here is what some people are saying about the book:

“Thank You for writing this book! It is so important to bring awareness about asexuality. Thank you for interviewing so many people and helping the world understand more what asexual people stuggle with and what our lives can be like.”

“Excellent introduction to asexuality, and a great help to asexuals as well as people looking to understand asexuality!”

“I have not finished this book yet, but so far, I have found it so interesting and I can’t put the book down. As an Asexual, it’s so nice to not only see a well written book written about this orientation, but reading real life stories of people like me makes me feel good, because I know I am not alone and there are people who experience the same things I do. No one is the same, but we can all relate one way or another. I HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone who is interested in this topic, overall, it’s a good read! Thank you so much for writing this and a big thank you to everyone who shared their story! Truly inspirational!”

“I found this to be an easy read. Very informative with aspects of all different spectrums of the Asexual community. Being new to this community by just months and still trying to understand where I fit I was able to read different interviews and pick up things I had in common with those people. Helping me realize the more intricate parts of being an asexual woman. It helped me let go of many things that have hounded me for a very long time. I’m “mature” and there was no such thing when I grew up as “Asexual”. Thank you Sandra for putting your heart into this work. I will go back and refer to parts of this book on my own journey.”

Shop here http://amzn.to/2FT0nJO

Why Do Some Asexuals Have Sex?

Posted on by Asexualise

So why do some asexuals have sex? There are a variety of reasons why some asexuals may have sex. Some asexuals may have sex to please their partner or they may have sex because they like it as an activity to do, like a board game! Some asexuals may have had sex in the past but not any more, and some asexuals have never had sex and never will!

Asexuality is not defined by whether you have had sex or not, it is defined by whether you experience sexual attraction or not, so whether you get the need, urge, or want, for partnered sexual intercourse or not! I have had sex in the past, but would rather I did not. I thought I had to have sex as part of a relationship, despite never thinking I want to have sex with any guy, including past loves. When I found out I am asexual in 2014 and I discovered others who were too, it felt amazing, that for the first time in my life, I had hope that I could find asexual love, without sex! I have never associated sex with love and never will!

If you have any questions, please post them in the comments below!

Until next time, stay Ace.

Sandra xx

 

8 Things Not To Do If You Are Asexual! Asexual Beauty! You’re Beautiful Just As You Are! #asexuality

Posted on by Asexualise
Beautiful as you are pic

You should know that you are beautiful just as you are.

8 Things Not To Do If You Are Asexual!

There is no need for you to:

  1. Justify your asexuality to anyone.
  2. Agree with someone for the sake of it.
  3. Be liked by everyone; because no one is.
  4. Be unsure of who you are because another person puts doubt in your mind.
  5. Identify the same as others; you are unique, so embrace it!
  6. Be ashamed of being asexual; asexuality is beautiful!
  7. Keep quiet about your asexuality; if others can’t deal with it, it’s their problem.
  8. Not love yourself and change yourself; because you are beautiful just as you are!

I thought you mind need a gentle reminder! Keep loving you for who you are! You are beautiful, and never forget that!

Until next time, stay ace, Sandra xx