New Look Asexualise.com Blog Site!

Posted on by Asexualise
Sandra Bellamy intro photo

You may have noticed this Asexualise site has a new look? Asexualise has a spanking new ace look! Shop for Asexualise Merchandise ASEXUALISE ASEXUAL MERCHANDISE, browse asexual resources and learn more about asexuality, right here on Asexualise.com

Unfortunately I had to remove the shop from this site as it kept causing technical difficulties and stopped it from working properly. I could barely access the blog in the admin section, (behind-the-scenes), to write a new post! Hence why this is the first post since Christmas! So I have cleaned out the old theme and got a new one and a fresh new look! I hope you like it?

Let me know what you think in the comments below and of any other features or blog articles you would like to see!

Until next time, stay ace

Sandra xx

ASEXUAL AWARENESS WEEK 21-27TH OCTOBER 2018 – Coming Out As Asexual

Posted on by Asexualise

Today marks the start of Asexual Awareness Week from Oct 21st-27th 2018. Otherwise know as #aceweek.

This is the week that many people around the world go that extra mile to raise awareness of Asexuality and it is a huge opportunity for those who have not yet come out as asexual but been thinking about it for some time, to do just that, and come out. This could be to family, to friends, or to a loved one, or all 3.

If you are thinking about coming out but not sure how to go about it, one of the other speakers at the UK Asexuality Conference said they found it best to explain how they feel in regard to having sex, rather than at first say they are asexual, which can be harder to understand.

Before I knew I am asexual, I used to say to heterosexual guys I dated, that I didn’t like sex. I didn’t even know asexuality existed back then, but I knew I didn’t like sex. I think this is an easier concept to grasp because people can relate to the fact that not everyone likes doing everything, in this case sex, whereas a lack of sexual attraction is more harder to understand; unless you are asexual, it is something that is never usually talked about – not unless you are fortunate enough to have bumped into someone who is asexual in your life, or seen an article, documentary, or radio show about it, or you just happen to come across it online.

If you haven’t yet read my Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Love, Life and Sex, ACElebration of Asexual Diversity book, I first discovered I am asexual in 2014, when I went to see a counsellor because I couldn’t date heterosexuals any more for fear of them wanting sex at the end of the date; it made me so very anxious that I almost wet myself. But, I said I still like kissing. She said she was very worried about me because I would have to have sex in order to keep a good guy. I was absolutely devastated as it was the worst thing she could have said to me, as I just couldn’t do it anymore.

Watch this short video above which explains that moment with the counsellor! https://youtu.be/2QDL9kHa-vQ

So after the counsellor said that to me, I got home and went online, I Googled “I love kissing but not sex” and that was when I discovered www.asexuality.org and asexuality, and after 3 weeks of research I finally understood not only that I am asexual, but what part of the asexual spectrum I was. It was a wonderful feeling of joy and relief to finally know there were others like me, who could live and love without sex.

What are you up to for Asexual Awareness Week?

In the last 3 weeks I have been preparing for Asexual Awareness Week by designing and producing lots of new Asexualise Asexual T-Shirts and merchandise for asexuals. Down below is a screenshot of some of those designs. Please click the following link for the full range of merchandise in my shop https://www.redbubble.com/people/asexualise/shop.

Asexualise Awareness Week

Asexualise T-Shirts are now on amazon UK here https://amzn.to/2OCEl2U

Until next time, stay ace,

Sandra

Happy shopping https://www.redbubble.com/people/asexualise/shop

 

What Is The Asexual Pride Flag Meaning? What do the Asexual Pride Flag Colours Mean?

Posted on by Asexualise

Asexual Clothing

Wearing Asexual clothing and having asexual accessories, makes you feel fantastic as an asexual because you are expressing your Asexual identity and showing you most definitely do exist.

Wearing Asexual clothing makes you feel empowered as an asexual and that you are truly living your asexual life and enjoying it. It makes you feel confident to be the wonderful and beautiful asexual you were always born to be!

Asexual Accessories can compliment your asexual clothes, and be as loud or as subtle as you wish them to be.

What’s Ace!

If you are not openly asexual, you can choose an asexual item that says ace on it, which is the slang term, or nickname word if you like, for being asexual, particularly when accompanied by the asexual flag colours, which are black, grey, white and purple.

What do the Asexual Pride Flag Colours Mean?

“The asexual pride flag consists of four horizontal stripes: black, grey, white, and purple from top to bottom. … The black stripe represents asexuality, the grey stripe representing the grey-area between sexual and asexual, the white stripe sexuality, and the purple stripe community.”

[Source Wikipedia.org]

Main article: Asexuality

Black, gray, white, purple stripes

The Asexual Pride Flag

“The asexual pride flag consists of four horizontal stripes: black, grey, white, and purple from top to bottom.

In August 2010, after a process of getting the word out beyond the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN) and to non-English speaking areas, a flag was chosen following a vote on a non-AVEN site. It has since been seen used on Tumblr in various LGBT areas, but had been seen alongside other sexual orientation flags previous to formal election. The black stripe represents asexuality, the grey stripe representing the grey-area between sexual and asexual, the white stripe sexuality, and the purple stripe community.

The AVEN logo is a triangle fading from white to black to symbolise the gradient between sexuals, gray-asexuals, demisexuals, and asexuals.

The ace of spades and ace of hearts are also used as asexual symbols as “ace” is a phonetic shortening of asexual. Similarly, “aro” is commonly another abbreviation of aromantic. Generally, romantic asexuals use the ace of hearts as their symbol, and aromantic asexuals use the ace of spades.

Another common symbol for the asexual community is a black ring worn on the middle finger of their right hand. The material and exact design of the ring are not important as long as it is primarily black. This symbol also found its start on AVEN in 2005.”

[Source Wikipedia.org]

[WooZoneProducts asin=”B078X4529J,B076KZQLXR,B077F9YYTW,B07D9BKBMN,B077NWJVWB,B076KGWGHW,B07G2XJRH7,B072JJHM69,B071J9CL24,B07GG9MN6S,B07BPCHP2T,B07C73TWQV,B01MTSYGO6,B0776N78BZ,B07DLRWMY3,B076KQN3GN,B0763S4FNY,B0164CDC6Q,B07D4Z3RNT,B0731YQJCL”][/WooZoneProducts]

8 Reasons Why I Refuse To Date Sexuals!

Posted on by Asexualise

asexual reasons for not dating sexuals

8 Reason why I refuse to date sexuals:

  1. In my experience they cannot live happily forever without sex and I don’t like, need or want that, ever again in my life!The end!Okay, so I have some more reasons but they are linked to the first
  2. Their thinking is different.
  3. They cannot kiss for long periods of time without getting frustrated and pressurising to have sex with them.
  4. They would view a cute pair of PJs as something that needs to be removed quickly for sex. And I like wearing cute PJs and I don’t want sex.
  5. They may want to get their sexual needs met elsewhere and I am 100% a monogamous girl!
  6. They will usually end up going off with someone else due to the lack of sex.
  7. Incompatible needs and intentions.
  8. Can’t make each other happy sexually and that will inevitably lead to other problems such as resentment, unsatisfaction and lack of fulfilment, feeling neglected or rejected and communication becomes lacking as the gap between us widens.

To sum it up, we are just not compatible and I am not prepared to put myself through that heartache ever again.

There is however, someone in my Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories book who is asexual and said they are with a bisexual person and the sex (or lack of it) was never an issue. I think this is extremely rare, especially if the relationship is monogamous, but nothing is completely impossible in all cases.

As I update this blog post in September 2018, I did try dating a sexual for 2 months in 2017, and I stopped dating him because he turned out to be a real psycho not because of the no sex aspect – but that was also a huge worry for me and he even understood it was better for me to be with an asexual. A mutual friend afterwards said he would have cheated on you.

I know of one sexual person that is married to an aromantic asexual in a monogamous married relationship but the lack of sex makes them unhappy in the relationship aspect of their life. I also met a married couple at the UK Asexuality Conference and she is asexual and he is sexual – hooray for a supportive husband!

I tend to attract the highly sexual guys, so yeah, it would be great if they could live without sex, but they can’t in my experience. And ‘highly’ sexual is the clue! Plus I love Passionate kissing but never want sex, and like I said in my point (2) above, it is just too frustrating for them to do that and not get sex as the ‘reward’ or ‘prize’ they crave.

What is your thoughts? As an asexual, would you date a sexual?

Until next time, stay ACE!

Sandra xx

 

ASEXUALITY CONFERENCE UK 2018 ASEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS DISCUSSION: WITH ASEXUALISE’S SANDRA BELLAMY

Posted on by Asexualise

Here is the first video (Asexual Relationships) from the Asexuality Conference UK. I was in a team 3 for this panel discussion and it is interesting to hear the varying viewpoints, and my short talk about Asexual Relationships starts about 03.48. My friend recorded this for me, and edited it for me. The person who introduces us did not want to be filmed, so you can only hear their voice and they have been cut out of any visuals.

 

Asexuality TedX Talk STORY OF SELF-EXPLORATION – ASEXUALITY TEDX YOUTH TALK!

Posted on by Asexualise

So I wanted to share some talks in the coming posts that others have done about asexuality. This one is a TedX Talk and I really enjoyed it! What do you think? In this Asexuality TedX talk Chantal Kelly tells her story of self-exploration.

Until next time, stay ace

Sandra xx

What Is A Cupioromantic? Can Aromantic Asexuals Be Romantic?

Posted on by Asexualise

What is a Cupioromantic? You may come across this term on asexual dating sites and in asexual groups and forums. But what does it mean to be a Cupioromantic? A Cupioromantic is someone who is aromantic and although lacking in romantic attraction, still desires a romantic relationship! But in practise what does this mean! And can aromantics really be romantic, if they lack romantic attraction? Watch this video to find out more!

In case you didn’t know, there are both Asexual aromantics – those who lack sexual attraction and romantic attraction and sexual aromantics – those who lack romantic attraction but who are still sexual and experience sexual attraction.

 

Grey-Romantic Vs Demi-Romantic! What is the difference between Grey-Romantic and Demi-Romantic?

Posted on by Asexualise
Demiromantic and Grey romantic

What is the difference between Grey-Romantic and Demi-Romantic? Is a question that seems to come up regularly in asexual groups and asexual forums. So I decided to create a video about it and I hope it helps you. If you have any questions about Grey-Romantic and Demi-Romantic, please leave it in the comments below! Thanks for watching.

Until next time, stay ace!

Sandra xx

P.S. I found this neat Demiromantic flag merchandise on Amazon! https://amzn.to/2lEzPjv

 

Asexual Dating: What is an Asexual Womaniser? How to spot an Asexual Womaniser!

Posted on by Asexualise
ace womaniser

Did you know asexual guys can be womanisers too?

Is this video I explain how to spot an asexual womaniser – the asexual guys who go around chatting up multiple women; who date multiple women and make them feel like they are the ‘one’ for them; and who may be in a relationship and trying to get into another one, despite saying they are monogamous. There are no doubt manisers too, as I am heteroromantic, I am speaking from own personal experience.

I hope you find this helpful?

Until next time, stay ace!

Sandra xx