ASEXUALISE DATING SUCCESS STORY | How Two Asexual Grey Romantics Found Love In Asexualise No Sex Dating Group!

Posted on by Asexualise

I am absolutely thrilled that two people in my Asexualise Dating group, specifically for asexuals who never want sex, have formed a meaningful asexual no sex relationship! And what’s particularly interesting with this success story, is both the happy couple are on the aromantic asexual spectrum (those who lack romantic attraction and sexual attraction). Asexual Love is ace!

I interviewed Patricia to discover more about how this asexual relationship started. Here are her answers told in her own words …

What was your relationship status was before you joined the group and what difficulties you were having finding someone suitable for a relationship?

I was single when I joined the group. I wasn’t really having a hard time with finding a relationship. It wasn’t an important thing in my life. It just wasn’t the most important thing.

How did you come across the Asexualise Dating group specifically for those who never want sex?

I came across the group looking for friends and if it turns into something else great. I was in other ace groups and I saw this one and decided to give it a go. I wasn’t too sure what to expect with a relationship. I have seen a lot of older movies with romance, so I kinda think I know what I want.

How long was it before you found your potential partner in the group?

I’m not sure. I’m bad with timeframes. I met one guy. He wasn’t supportive. My last friend died and I told him and he gave me no support. Next was Eric who I’m seeing now. So maybe a year.

Were there people in the group you liked before you met your partner but for some reason they weren’t suitable?

I never really looked for someone because I’m ace grey aromantic. So it’s wasn’t a huge thing, but I was interested in what I could find.

Who made the first move in terms of messaging and what happened?

Eric did I believe. We started talking in your Asexualise No Sex Dating group in September 2017 and continue talking. We got together in July 2018. I asked him with nervousness, and we felt the same! We had more of the cicadas that summer, and I would call him up as I walked to the senior centre where I volunteer. I would freak out over the birds shadow thinking it would be a cicada and I don’t want to deal with that! I hate bugs! But it’s nice… to have company on my walks. We make each other laugh. We both love video games, we both love nature. He has some albinism so he doesn’t like brightness. But I’m excited to learn Swedish. I’ve always liked the idea of Sweden since I watch the YouTuber PewDiePie. So I’m excited for that.

I know you both live in different countries. How are you planning to move over there? When will this happen? Do you already have a job lined up and will you live together or not at first?

Okay this a long one. He lives in Sweden. I live in the USA. I’m planning to apply for citizenship, but I have to live in the USA for a year, so probably in 2020 I will move. I don’t know when in 2020 though. I plan on moving into his apartment. It will be awkward at first because I have lived on my own for so long, as he has also. So yeah, it will be awkward. I don’t currently have a job, I’m unable to work. I have a cat and puppy, both female.They will be coming too. So no, I don’t have a job lined up, I plan on applying for sick pay. It will also be a good mental and emotional health booster to get away from toxic family members.

Also he and I want a Nordic wedding. NO real wedding plans yet! Just silly talk of it. But I do make jokes that I want an all white wedding, but would he blend in as he has some albino in him, lol! We haven’t said, “I love you yet” but we may in the future when we are physically together.

What would you say to anyone else who is asexual and not looking for sex ever and thinking about joining the group?

I would say, finding a partner takes time and could take longer than me. Moving would be a big thing, but it will need to be done for it to work out.

What advice would you give to other asexuals in general, who are looking for a serious relationship with another asexual without sex?

It takes time. Friendships are important to make as they could turn into something more. When going into the dating scene look for a friendship first. Let it grow. Take your time. Don’t rush.

I need to stress it is so important to have a caring and supportive relationship. He and I are so caring and supportive of each other. I love how we can laugh about things. Also I tend to rant and he will calmly let me know and I stop. He doesn’t judge. I don’t either. If people want to get an idea of how we are, just look up the gif series milkandmocha (milk and mocha) it’s sooo us!

Don’t give up. There is hope for those who are ace and grey aromantics, because Eric and I are both grey aro and we were lucky enough to find each other. I’m agender though and he respects that. That makes me happy. So yeah we make each other very happy.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you are reading this and you are asexual (not sexual), and you want to join this Asexualise no sex dating group, for asexuals who never want sex, how can you apply?

If you are asexual, single, and never want sex, ever, you can apply to be in my Asexualise Dating group, for asexuals who are looking for a serious and committed no sex ever relationship. There will be questions to answer in order to gain access to the group and not everyone is guaranteed to be accepted, however, many are! Here is the link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/acexualisedating/

If however you are on the more Grey Asexual or Demisexual end of the Asexual Spectrum and/or, you may want or be wiling to have sex upon occasion, then please don’t request to be in my no sex ever dating group and request to be in this one instead https://www.facebook.com/groups/greyacexualdatinganddemiacexualdating/

If you are asexual and just looking for asexual friends, then please request to join this group https://www.facebook.com/groups/acefriendsrus/

Thanks so much to Patricia and Eric for sharing their wonderful Asexualise Dating successful love story and explaining how they met in my Asexualise Dating group, which is specifically for those asexuals who never want sex ever. I wish you lots of love and happiness forever xx

And if you are looking for more relationship insights, don’t forget to get a copy of my Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Love, Life and Sex, ACElebration of Asexual Diversity book here  ASEXUAL PERSPECTIVES

BOOK: KINDLE http://amzn.to/2l8kppt

PAPERBACK: http://amzn.to/2td7y8D (UK) http://amzn.to/2tMXhls

PDF https://sellfy.com/quirkybooks.net

Until next time, as always, stay ace!

Sandra xx

Life without sex – Asexuality explained | Asexuality Documentary Sky News! | Asexuality stereotypes busted!

Posted on by Asexualise

You can’t be sexy if you are asexual – Asexuality myth busted!

Sky News – Life without sex asexuality documentary – Asexuality Explained
Asexuality stereotypes busted! Heteronormative myths busted

In this Sky News life without sex asexuality documentary, asexuality is explained and asexual stereotypes are busted! Yasmin’s outer appearance when modelling is that of a very sexy, raunchy girl, who oozes sex appeal to many, yet she confesses she is asexual and aromantic; she lacks both sexual and romantic attraction, and she doesn’t pursue romantic relationships. When asked in this life without sex asexuality documentary how her modelling works with her asexuality when she is modelling in this highly sexualised environment, she says, “I’m not trying to sell myself – I’m selling a product”. She goes onto explain she started the #thisiswhatasexuallookslike because there is so many stereotypes surrounding asexuality and “lets give the diversity to asexual people to show who they are’.

You can’t be married, in a relationship, or love someone without sex! – Heteronormative myth busted!

In this documentary there is also a homoromantic guy couple (gay asexuals) Thom and Steve Winter-Gray, who have been married for 18 months. They explain that they both lack sexual attraction, but are romantic, they still like to kiss and cuddle, they just don’t have sex, and it’s more than just a bromance or platonic, it’s love, just they don’t experience sexual attraction and sex is not involved. They make an analogy to people loving their mum, dad, aunt, uncle, dogs, cats, and pets, but when asking people if they would have sex with them, people say no I don’t, and they said that is how it works for them.

Everyone loves sex, feels sexual attraction and wants it! – Heteronormative myth busted!

And finally there is a teenager, Emi Salida, who is a sex repulsed asexual. She explains how she is disconnected to sex and imagining certain people she has known before they get into a sexual relationship in a sexual context “it makes my brain kinda crash a little bit”.
Watch this amazing life without sex asexuality documentary, asexuality explained Sky News documentary!

And if you are looking for more real life asexual stories told in their own words, you can buy a copy of my Asexual Perspectives book here

ASEXUAL PERSPECTIVES BOOK: KINDLE http://amzn.to/2l8kppt
PAPERBACK: http://amzn.to/2td7y8D  (UK) http://amzn.to/2tMXhls
PDF https://sellfy.com/quirkybooks.net

Until next time, subscribe to this blog and stay ace!
Sandra xx

New Look Asexualise.com Blog Site!

Posted on by Asexualise
Sandra Bellamy intro photo

You may have noticed this Asexualise site has a new look? Asexualise has a spanking new ace look! Shop for Asexualise Merchandise ASEXUALISE ASEXUAL MERCHANDISE, browse asexual resources and learn more about asexuality, right here on Asexualise.com

Unfortunately I had to remove the shop from this site as it kept causing technical difficulties and stopped it from working properly. I could barely access the blog in the admin section, (behind-the-scenes), to write a new post! Hence why this is the first post since Christmas! So I have cleaned out the old theme and got a new one and a fresh new look! I hope you like it?

Let me know what you think in the comments below and of any other features or blog articles you would like to see!

Until next time, stay ace

Sandra xx

ASEXUAL AWARENESS WEEK 21-27TH OCTOBER 2018 – Coming Out As Asexual

Posted on by Asexualise

Today marks the start of Asexual Awareness Week from Oct 21st-27th 2018. Otherwise know as #aceweek.

This is the week that many people around the world go that extra mile to raise awareness of Asexuality and it is a huge opportunity for those who have not yet come out as asexual but been thinking about it for some time, to do just that, and come out. This could be to family, to friends, or to a loved one, or all 3.

If you are thinking about coming out but not sure how to go about it, one of the other speakers at the UK Asexuality Conference said they found it best to explain how they feel in regard to having sex, rather than at first say they are asexual, which can be harder to understand.

Before I knew I am asexual, I used to say to heterosexual guys I dated, that I didn’t like sex. I didn’t even know asexuality existed back then, but I knew I didn’t like sex. I think this is an easier concept to grasp because people can relate to the fact that not everyone likes doing everything, in this case sex, whereas a lack of sexual attraction is more harder to understand; unless you are asexual, it is something that is never usually talked about – not unless you are fortunate enough to have bumped into someone who is asexual in your life, or seen an article, documentary, or radio show about it, or you just happen to come across it online.

If you haven’t yet read my Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Love, Life and Sex, ACElebration of Asexual Diversity book, I first discovered I am asexual in 2014, when I went to see a counsellor because I couldn’t date heterosexuals any more for fear of them wanting sex at the end of the date; it made me so very anxious that I almost wet myself. But, I said I still like kissing. She said she was very worried about me because I would have to have sex in order to keep a good guy. I was absolutely devastated as it was the worst thing she could have said to me, as I just couldn’t do it anymore.

Watch this short video above which explains that moment with the counsellor! https://youtu.be/2QDL9kHa-vQ

So after the counsellor said that to me, I got home and went online, I Googled “I love kissing but not sex” and that was when I discovered www.asexuality.org and asexuality, and after 3 weeks of research I finally understood not only that I am asexual, but what part of the asexual spectrum I was. It was a wonderful feeling of joy and relief to finally know there were others like me, who could live and love without sex.

What are you up to for Asexual Awareness Week?

In the last 3 weeks I have been preparing for Asexual Awareness Week by designing and producing lots of new Asexualise Asexual T-Shirts and merchandise for asexuals. Down below is a screenshot of some of those designs. Please click the following link for the full range of merchandise in my shop https://www.redbubble.com/people/asexualise/shop.

Asexualise Awareness Week

Asexualise T-Shirts are now on amazon UK here https://amzn.to/2OCEl2U

Until next time, stay ace,

Sandra

Happy shopping https://www.redbubble.com/people/asexualise/shop

 

What Is The Asexual Pride Flag Meaning? What do the Asexual Pride Flag Colours Mean?

Posted on by Asexualise

Asexual Clothing

Wearing Asexual clothing and having asexual accessories, makes you feel fantastic as an asexual because you are expressing your Asexual identity and showing you most definitely do exist.

Wearing Asexual clothing makes you feel empowered as an asexual and that you are truly living your asexual life and enjoying it. It makes you feel confident to be the wonderful and beautiful asexual you were always born to be!

Asexual Accessories can compliment your asexual clothes, and be as loud or as subtle as you wish them to be.

What’s Ace!

If you are not openly asexual, you can choose an asexual item that says ace on it, which is the slang term, or nickname word if you like, for being asexual, particularly when accompanied by the asexual flag colours, which are black, grey, white and purple.

What do the Asexual Pride Flag Colours Mean?

“The asexual pride flag consists of four horizontal stripes: black, grey, white, and purple from top to bottom. … The black stripe represents asexuality, the grey stripe representing the grey-area between sexual and asexual, the white stripe sexuality, and the purple stripe community.”

[Source Wikipedia.org]

Main article: Asexuality

Black, gray, white, purple stripes

The Asexual Pride Flag

“The asexual pride flag consists of four horizontal stripes: black, grey, white, and purple from top to bottom.

In August 2010, after a process of getting the word out beyond the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN) and to non-English speaking areas, a flag was chosen following a vote on a non-AVEN site. It has since been seen used on Tumblr in various LGBT areas, but had been seen alongside other sexual orientation flags previous to formal election. The black stripe represents asexuality, the grey stripe representing the grey-area between sexual and asexual, the white stripe sexuality, and the purple stripe community.

The AVEN logo is a triangle fading from white to black to symbolise the gradient between sexuals, gray-asexuals, demisexuals, and asexuals.

The ace of spades and ace of hearts are also used as asexual symbols as “ace” is a phonetic shortening of asexual. Similarly, “aro” is commonly another abbreviation of aromantic. Generally, romantic asexuals use the ace of hearts as their symbol, and aromantic asexuals use the ace of spades.

Another common symbol for the asexual community is a black ring worn on the middle finger of their right hand. The material and exact design of the ring are not important as long as it is primarily black. This symbol also found its start on AVEN in 2005.”

[Source Wikipedia.org]

[WooZoneProducts asin=”B078X4529J,B076KZQLXR,B077F9YYTW,B07D9BKBMN,B077NWJVWB,B076KGWGHW,B07G2XJRH7,B072JJHM69,B071J9CL24,B07GG9MN6S,B07BPCHP2T,B07C73TWQV,B01MTSYGO6,B0776N78BZ,B07DLRWMY3,B076KQN3GN,B0763S4FNY,B0164CDC6Q,B07D4Z3RNT,B0731YQJCL”][/WooZoneProducts]

8 Reasons Why I Refuse To Date Sexuals!

Posted on by Asexualise

asexual reasons for not dating sexuals

8 Reason why I refuse to date sexuals:

  1. In my experience they cannot live happily forever without sex and I don’t like, need or want that, ever again in my life!The end!Okay, so I have some more reasons but they are linked to the first
  2. Their thinking is different.
  3. They cannot kiss for long periods of time without getting frustrated and pressurising to have sex with them.
  4. They would view a cute pair of PJs as something that needs to be removed quickly for sex. And I like wearing cute PJs and I don’t want sex.
  5. They may want to get their sexual needs met elsewhere and I am 100% a monogamous girl!
  6. They will usually end up going off with someone else due to the lack of sex.
  7. Incompatible needs and intentions.
  8. Can’t make each other happy sexually and that will inevitably lead to other problems such as resentment, unsatisfaction and lack of fulfilment, feeling neglected or rejected and communication becomes lacking as the gap between us widens.

To sum it up, we are just not compatible and I am not prepared to put myself through that heartache ever again.

There is however, someone in my Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories book who is asexual and said they are with a bisexual person and the sex (or lack of it) was never an issue. I think this is extremely rare, especially if the relationship is monogamous, but nothing is completely impossible in all cases.

As I update this blog post in September 2018, I did try dating a sexual for 2 months in 2017, and I stopped dating him because he turned out to be a real psycho not because of the no sex aspect – but that was also a huge worry for me and he even understood it was better for me to be with an asexual. A mutual friend afterwards said he would have cheated on you.

I know of one sexual person that is married to an aromantic asexual in a monogamous married relationship but the lack of sex makes them unhappy in the relationship aspect of their life. I also met a married couple at the UK Asexuality Conference and she is asexual and he is sexual – hooray for a supportive husband!

I tend to attract the highly sexual guys, so yeah, it would be great if they could live without sex, but they can’t in my experience. And ‘highly’ sexual is the clue! Plus I love Passionate kissing but never want sex, and like I said in my point (2) above, it is just too frustrating for them to do that and not get sex as the ‘reward’ or ‘prize’ they crave.

What is your thoughts? As an asexual, would you date a sexual?

Until next time, stay ACE!

Sandra xx

 

ASEXUALITY CONFERENCE UK 2018 ASEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS DISCUSSION: WITH ASEXUALISE’S SANDRA BELLAMY

Posted on by Asexualise

Here is the first video (Asexual Relationships) from the Asexuality Conference UK. I was in a team 3 for this panel discussion and it is interesting to hear the varying viewpoints, and my short talk about Asexual Relationships starts about 03.48. My friend recorded this for me, and edited it for me. The person who introduces us did not want to be filmed, so you can only hear their voice and they have been cut out of any visuals.

 

Asexuality TedX Talk STORY OF SELF-EXPLORATION – ASEXUALITY TEDX YOUTH TALK!

Posted on by Asexualise

So I wanted to share some talks in the coming posts that others have done about asexuality. This one is a TedX Talk and I really enjoyed it! What do you think? In this Asexuality TedX talk Chantal Kelly tells her story of self-exploration.

Until next time, stay ace

Sandra xx

What Is A Cupioromantic? Can Aromantic Asexuals Be Romantic?

Posted on by Asexualise

What is a Cupioromantic? You may come across this term on asexual dating sites and in asexual groups and forums. But what does it mean to be a Cupioromantic? A Cupioromantic is someone who is aromantic and although lacking in romantic attraction, still desires a romantic relationship! But in practise what does this mean! And can aromantics really be romantic, if they lack romantic attraction? Watch this video to find out more!

In case you didn’t know, there are both Asexual aromantics – those who lack sexual attraction and romantic attraction and sexual aromantics – those who lack romantic attraction but who are still sexual and experience sexual attraction.