10 Awesome Benefits To NOT Having Sex!

Posted on by Asexualise

Here are 10 Awesome Benefits To NOT Having Sex!

1) You don’t have to worry about getting a STD.

2) No risk of getting pregnant or of getting someone pregnant.

3) No pressure or expectation to perform.

4) You will be loved for who you are, not for how many orgasms you can attempt to give or have.

5) Less mess and changing of bed sheets!

6) Relationship compatibility is increased because there is more focus on shared mutual interests, hobbies, likes and dislikes – rather than sexual attraction being the primary reason for the relationship to start and continue.

7) Less divorce rates due to impotency or lack of sex, if you are not having it anyway.

8) You have more time to focus on other things.

9) You don’t have to feel guilty if you are too tired to have sex or not in the mood.

10) There is more chance of getting to the root of relationship problems, and either sorting them out or cutting your losses sooner – rather than using sex as a kiss and make-up mask over the problem – leading to more frustration, hurt and pain, later on!

Asexual Love: Asexual Dating Group – Got My Asexual Boyfriend: Asexual Soulmate!

Posted on by Asexualise

So after being single for almost 6 years, and searching for my Asexual soulmate for over 3 years since 2014 on Asexual dating sites www.asexualitic.com and www.ace-book.net , I finally found him in my own Asexualise Dating Facebook group, that is strictly for asexuals only, who want to date and find a committed forever relationship/s without sex ever. So from Monday 1st of October we became in an official asexual relationship. I am really thrilled about this, love without sex definitely exists with us.

So if you are new Asexuality and don’t know what I am talking about, asexuality is a sexual orientation, that is barely unheard of and deeply misunderstood. It means a lack of sexual attraction. Asexuals make up about 1% of the world population, that is 1 in every 100 people you meet are likely to be asexual.

So in broad terms an asexual person is someone who does not get the need, urge, or want, for partnered sex (intercourse). Although some may still have it to please their sexual partner or because they enjoy it as an activity to do, like a board game. I have had sex in the past but would rather not have done. That was before I realised I am a heteroromantic asexual, not a heterosexual. I actually define myself as a Heteroromantic, Hyper-romantic, Grey A, Asexual, Younger Cougar, who does not like sex, just kissing. That means I get attracted romantically to the opposite sex – guys, just not sexually; I am extremely romantic to the extent that would be incomprehensible to some who are not like that, so I can fall in love easily, over a few texts messages or Skype sessions for example – I have been managing that well, so trying to refrain from doing that, but yeah, I love my guy, but we have known each more than that, so it’s fine. And I literally love the romance that Disney movies are made of and making it come to reality! I feel loved up almost 24/7 just with myself!

I have grey areas, so my body gets aroused, but I still have no need, want or urge, for sex, ever.

I am Grey A, which I define as having Grey Areas, because I experience high levels of arousal and can get aroused in my body, by myself, without touching anything or thinking about anyone, or from just thinking about the word aroused, or thinking about kissing, and also by actual kissing. I never go to look at porn, that is personally yuk to me, and if I happen to talk about sex, which happens more as I help a lot of people discover if they are asexual or not, and asexuals often talk more about what they physically can and can’t cope with and like than sexuals do, or I see some sexual images by accident pop up in my Twitter feed for example – and I block them, unfortunately it can set off my arousal, even though I hate sex and sex personally repulses me these days, for me – not for others. People think arousal and sexual attraction are the same thing but they are not, although for sexuals they can be intertwined, as one can instantly lead to the other, for asexuals they are usually separate. Just think, if you touch your genitalia, you are likely to get aroused – think masturbation, but for asexuals, if they do that, it is usually to release arousal feelings with no desire for sex. Some do it for other reasons such as to de-stress or use it as a tool to go to sleep.

I am an asexual cougar means I get attracted to guys who are younger than me and in my case usually foreign, (although my soulmate is British born he still has a foreign looking face from his mum’s side of the family), and I only want a relationship with a younger guy but to be romantic with, kiss, cuddle, hold hands, not have sex with. And in my case I am also nudity repulsed and have no desire to see a guy naked below the waist.

My Asexual guy lives in London in the UK and can relocate, he is also a heteroromantic, hyper-romantic and sex repulsed. He is not into nudity either, but loves passionate kissing like I do and is quite happy to be with someone older in birth certificate age. Although younger, he is older in birth certificate age than I would usually go for, and he is not that much younger, but it doesn’t matter as he is adorable and looks younger in person and has an incredibly amazing personality and I feel so lucky and blessed to have found him, at last!! We both like doing young stuff.  We have quite a lot of other stuff in common and get on really well and he is coming to see me for 5 days next month and I can’t wait. I am super excited about that!

If you want to know more about asexuality, I wrote a book called Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Love, Life and Sex, ACElebration of Asexual Diversity, and be sure to like www.facebook.com/acexualise And you can find the biggest online community of asexuals at www.asexuality.org

 

If you have a partner, whether they are sexual or asexual, how long did it take to find the partner of your dreams?

Until next time, stay ace

Sandra xx

(UPDATE – Sadly it didn’t work out with this guy and you can read what happened in my next post)

ASEXUALISE DATING NO SEX DATING FOR ASEXUALS NOT SEXUALS

Posted on by Asexualise

ASEXUALISE DATING NO SEX DATING FOR ASEXUALS NOT SEXUALS

Overall I would say asexuals are an innocent bunch and believe most people have good intentions – unfortunately it doesn’t work like this. I understand marketing well now since I have completed my online course and I know that you can target being in groups by keywords so the fact it has ‘sexual’ in the title – although it is Asexualise and ‘asexual’ for other groups – sexuals who are not aware of what asexual means, will assume it means sexual.
I also had a friend request from a girl and then she managed to get into an ace dating group – I private messaged her after seeing her post a comment saying I have no idea what you are talking about – I told her if she did not know what we were talking about then maybe she was not in the right group as it was for asexuals not sexuals and when I asked her which she was – she then said the answer is not straight forward and to answer it may require a long conversation and could we video chat as friends by Viber, Skype and FB – so with my ‘sure I want to help people head on’, I immediately started thinking of when I could do this and then after that I reflected, I thought why would a girl who I barely knew and could not even see a profile pic of as it was anonymous (so it could have been anyone of any age) – suggest to ‘video chat’ with me and ‘as friends’ – why would it be anything other than friends and then the penny dropped, this person may want cam sex with me or show me naked stuff I did not want to see, and I messaged back “To be honest I am not sure why you need to chat to me to explain because I am not gay or sexual incase you were wondering and I usually only talk on video chat to people I know well and as I can’t even see a pic of you I think it would be better if you messaged me here. You could also send a voicemail via here.” The reply I got “Ok… Sorry for bothering you.. good luck.. Have a nice day..” So I have unfriended and blocked this person.
I also realised that by changing the group name and having the word NO SEX and for asexuals NOT SEXUALS – I was putting those keywords in my description more and so that was why I was getting all these guys with bare dicks, women with next to nothing on and profiles full of posts with people actually naked and having sex.
So beware that people are not all are innocent like us and sadly not everyone in asexual dating groups – particularly those with a higher number of members – will all be asexual – so check out their profile by clicking through their member pic to get a good indication of if they are sexual rather than asexual. Yes some asexuals like porn – but in my experience they do no usually have pics of naked dicks, or people having sex, or posts about sex for the sake of sex, or maybe friends with their boobs showing on their Facebook profile. Better to be safe than sorry.
So now I have changed the group name to Asexualise Dating For ASEXUALS ONLY. But still kept the header and description saying Asexualise Dating No Sex Dating For Asexuals. It can be tough to be asexual in a highly sexualised world but it is the most beautiful thing ever for me, and I would not change it for the world. I love making new asexual friends, just like you, and I hope one day to be blessed with a beautiful romantic relationship with an asexual guy. I am proud to spread awareness of asexuality around the globe to get it recognised as a sexual orientation in its own right – maybe then we will have less misunderstandings and approaches from sexuals who actually respect our differences and stop trying to thrust sexual stuff down our throats. Don’t get me wrong, there are sexuals who are very respectful and do not post such things at all and it is up to them what they post on their profile anyway, I have highly sexual friends who do not behave in this manner – But the more understanding and education we create, hopefully the more we can get these highly sexual profile people to stop encroaching on our lives.
If you want to join this group. You need to be asexual, single – unless genuinely polyamorous, and looking for a no-sex ever relationship, and you have to answer questions. Not everyone is accepted but if you fulfil these criteria then you are more likely to be accepted: https://www.facebook.com/groups/acexualisedating/
If you are on the more grey asexual or demisexual end of the asexual spectrum, I have another group for you. You also have to be single – unless genuinely polyamorous, and looking for a relationship, and you have to answer questions. Not everyone is accepted but if you fulfil these criteria then you are more likely to be accepted. https://www.facebook.com/groups/greyacexualdatinganddemiacexualdating/
And if you are an asexual just looking for friends, I have a friends group too and you will need to answer questions to get into it https://www.facebook.com/groups/acefriendsrus/