I thought that I would do a review of a book written by Sandra Bellamy regarding asexuality. She has written a few books (I’ll likely review others) and is currently writing another as I write this, which should hopefully be available soon. The book I shall discuss today is “Asexual Perspectives, 47 Asexual Stories” with […]
Asexual Perspectives by Sandra Bellamy (Book Review)
If you want to know more about asexuality and have a ton of questions that need answering, I wrote a book called ASEXUAL PERSPECTIVES: 47 ASEXUAL STORIES: LOVE, LIFE and SEX, ACElebration of ASEXUAL DIVERSITY, which is now available on the Waterstones Website here https://www.waterstones.com/book/asexual-perspectives-47-asexual-stories/sandra-bellamy/9780995599338
It took me a year to write it and I interviewed 46 asexuals around the globe for it. What’s good about this book, is it does not just give text book definitions of orientations across the asexual spectrum, it shows you them, through their answers and the personal details they share from their real life stories. It answers most questions you could think of about love, life, and sex, from an asexual point of view, including those you feel afraid to ask!!
Besides being available on the Waterstones Website here https://www.waterstones.com/book/asexual-perspectives-47-asexual-stories/sandra-bellamy/9780995599338 It’s available on Amazon here also: KINDLE http://amzn.to/2l8kppt PAPERBACK: http://amzn.to/2td7y8D (UK) http://amzn.to/2tMXhls PDF https://sellfy.com/quirkybooks.net 💜
There’s nothing more exciting and rewarding for a writer/published Author, than changing people’s lives through your own written words.
When you add to that, the fact you are asexual, and you are interviewed about your book and asexual life journey, it’s just the icing on the cake.
I’m so proud to be featured in Loud and Out magazine, about my Asexual Perspectives book, and Author/asexual journey. And what a journey it’s been. I remember when I was scared to talk about sex with anyone else but a partner. I remember a time I thought I had to have sex as part of a ‘normal’ relationship. And I remember how the word asexual turned me off from using it, because it has sexual as part of the word, and I feel I’m not sexual. I remember thinking if you have sexual behaviour, how can you be asexual? Not realising sexual behaviour is not the same as sexual attraction. Asexuals lack sexual attraction, they don’t all lack sexual behaviour.
Want to know more about why I chose to write Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Love, Life And Sex book?
Check out the article here https://loudandout.com/asexuality/?fbclid=IwAR0cvSXnB5wfFMV_n4yTUdImJBYxizPC7hLvegR3wkMew5QYLNb_-jKPXu4
As always, stay ACE
Sandra xx
It’s almost two years since my Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Love, Life and Sex, ACElebration of Asexual Diversity bookwent into print and could be obtained globally through Amazon’s very own distribution network, under my own imprint of Quirky Books. Yes, I am a register publisher user that name. That book will always be dear to my heart as not only is it my first book published for asexuals, I learnt such a lot from interviewing all the 46 Asexuals in it. Far more than I would have ever learnt just from reading text book definitions about asexuality. And as always, July will be #APAM, Asexual Perspectives Awareness Month, where each day for 31 days, I have a video with excerpts from the book to celebrate our diversity across the spectrum on my channel www.youtube.com/
I have decided to write my second asexual book, and am looking for asexuals who want to take part in this book and be interviewed for it, only this one is a bit different. This one is called ASEXUAL SEX STORIES: THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE FUGLY. REAL LIFE ASEXUAL SEX STORIES. So as you might have guessed the people who I am looking for to be interviewed, are asexuals who have had sex before, to share their experiences with others. to help other asexuals who are not sure whether or not they want to try sex and are looking for the good, bad, and damn right fugly things about having sex, so they can make an informed choice and decision about whether they want to try it or not. It will also prove a very insightful read for anyone who is asexual who doesn’t want to experience sex themselves, but has always been curious as to what it feels like for an asexual to have sex.
This book will also be a great read for anyone who is not asexual, but who wants to get a deeper understanding of what sex really feels like for an asexual and to gain greater insight into how an asexual thinks and feels about sex, from a very personal experience point of view.
If you are an asexual who has had sex at some point or know of an asexual friend who has and may like to take part in this book, please can you get them to contact me asexualise@gmail.com with the subject line of “I want to be interviewed for your Asexual Sex Stories book!’
You will be sent a questionnaire that you need to fill in fully, in order to be considered for this book. Answers need to be in to me by 30th of June 2019, to be considered for publication. All answers will be gone through thoroughly next month, July 2019, and you may be contacted for further information or questions about your answers in that month.
As well as sharing the good, the bad and the ugly of their experience of having sex, interviewee’s will also be asked questions to advise other asexuals who are thinking about having sex for the first time ever and not sure about whether they should do it or not. This book will be available to buy on Amazon, and globally in print under my own imprint of Quirky Books. As with the last book, it will also be in the British Library and others too.
This book came about because I have an aromatic asexual friend who was asking me what do if they were to try sex and because I saw many asexuals in groups saying that when they have had sex before, they did not know what to do with their arms etc, so I thought there is a need for this book. It also gives asexuals a voice to tell others what it really feels like to be asexual and have sex, rather than sexuals just giving their opinion all the time.
If you are looking for asexual merch to celebrate this pride month, please visit my Asexualise shop www.redbubble.com/people/
Until next time, stay ace
Sandra xx
In my Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Love, Life and Sex, ACElebration Of Asexual Diversity book I asked each person I interviewed for the book this question:
If you were to look back at your life, what advice would you have given a younger version of yourself in regard to asexuality?
In Chapter 48, on page 450 of the printed edition of Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, South American Anonymous’s answer to this question is awe-inspiring:
Seriously, I would explain to myself everything I know about orientations and genders right now and I would emphasise that we are not broken, and there’s nothing wrong with being who we are, and what other people say doesn’t matter and we should have more courage to face what’s up ahead.
In Chapter 45, on page 418 of the printed edition of Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Claire Evelyn’s answer is short and spot on!
That it is okay to follow your own path and not follow the masses.
In Chapter 20, on page 196 of the printed edition of Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Geeske Van Der Poel’s answer is important to note:
Asexuality is not wrong, just be who you are. You Should not feel guilty for not giving your parents any grandchildren, either.
In Chapter 13, on page 121 of the printed edition of Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, always remember Dee’s advice:
Don’t have any sex unless you’re confident you want it.
In Chapter 10, on page 88 of the printed edition of Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Nikki has valuable advice to share:
Realize earlier that it is ok! I thought for ages that I was just slow to develop the urges and interests everyone my age had and pushed myself to be a participant in sexual culture. I would tell my younger self that I’m fine the way I am and to find the confidence to participate in our sexually charged culture in an asexual way.
If you want more fantastic advice like this, from real life asexuals across the globe, get a copy of my Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Love, Life and Sex ACElebration of Asexual Diversity book here if you live in the UK https://amzn.to/2WeBlhf or here if you live in the USA https://amzn.to/2WedNZI It is also available across many other Amazon stores and can be requested from all good book stores in print format, as it’s published using my own publishing imprint of Quirky Books, which is a registered publisher in the UK, and I use Amazon to publish and distribute the books globally for me. I also have the ebook version available at www.sellfy.com/quirkybooks.net
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In September, I was featured in an Article on the Femedic website about what it’s like dating when you are asexual!
Here is the link to the full article https://thefemedic.com/sexual-health/what-like-dating-asexual/
Above is a video with me talking about it, that was a live stream recording!
I am really proud to be featured talking about asexuality dating. Since being a speaker at the UK Asexuality Conference, I am on the Asexuality.org (AVEN) Media and Speaker team, so very proud of that!
As always, stay ace
Sandra xx
If you are still learning about asexuality or wanting to understand your orientation better, I wrote a non-fiction book to show you the difference across the asexual spectrum. This book is not full of text book definitions, but a different take on asexuality, of real life asexuals, revealing some very intimate aspects of their life to help you! http://amzn.to/2FT0nJO
•Learn the asexual perspectives of Aromantics; Heteroromantics; Homoromantics; Panromantics; Grey Aces; Demi-sexual; Biromantic; Agender; Transgender; Polyamorous and many more.
•Uncover Asexuals’ deepest fears, concerns and worries about being asexual.
•Find out possible reasons why, in general, society does not accept asexuality as a sexual orientation in its own right and what we can do about this to change the world!
•Discover what asexuals really believe are the differences between sexual attraction, sexual desire and arousal.
•Find out what asexuals really think of nudity; porn; masturbation; BDSM and kinks.
•Discover what it feels like to have sex as an asexual and how to cope with the sexualized world that we live in.
•Find out what asexuals think about living together, about marriage and about having kids.
•Discover what an ideal asexual relationship would look like and whether asexuals believe a relationship with a sexual would be fair or not.
•Uncover the positives about being asexual.
•Find out what advice asexuals would give to a younger version of themselves regarding asexuality and what advice they would give to others who are just discovering they may be asexual.
Here is what some people are saying about the book:
“Thank You for writing this book! It is so important to bring awareness about asexuality. Thank you for interviewing so many people and helping the world understand more what asexual people stuggle with and what our lives can be like.”
“Excellent introduction to asexuality, and a great help to asexuals as well as people looking to understand asexuality!”
“I have not finished this book yet, but so far, I have found it so interesting and I can’t put the book down. As an Asexual, it’s so nice to not only see a well written book written about this orientation, but reading real life stories of people like me makes me feel good, because I know I am not alone and there are people who experience the same things I do. No one is the same, but we can all relate one way or another. I HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone who is interested in this topic, overall, it’s a good read! Thank you so much for writing this and a big thank you to everyone who shared their story! Truly inspirational!”
“I found this to be an easy read. Very informative with aspects of all different spectrums of the Asexual community. Being new to this community by just months and still trying to understand where I fit I was able to read different interviews and pick up things I had in common with those people. Helping me realize the more intricate parts of being an asexual woman. It helped me let go of many things that have hounded me for a very long time. I’m “mature” and there was no such thing when I grew up as “Asexual”. Thank you Sandra for putting your heart into this work. I will go back and refer to parts of this book on my own journey.”
Shop here http://amzn.to/2FT0nJO
In the video, is probably my biggest YouTube fan, and he is unboxing a copy of my Asexual Perspectives book, watch this video as he comes alive with the joy of receiving it!
Finally, the print paperback version of my 560 page Asexual Perspectives book is now available to buy on Amazon here http://amzn.to/2u1wp0O. Or UK site http://amzn.to/2tw739A
The Kindle version of my Asexual Perspectives book, you can get here http://amzn.to/2szjNJQ Or UK site is http://amzn.to/2u6vps7. Please leave a review on Amazon to help other asexuals and to raise more awareness of asexuality.
To celebrate this book going into print, our diversity across the spectrum, and our individuality within it, I founded Asexual Perspectives Awareness Month, 1st-31st of July 2017, #APAM. Like www.facebook.com/acexualise to join in the celebration fun and subscribe on www.youtube.com/c/asexualisemyasexuallife to see a different video every day, for 31 days of #APAM, related to a topic from the book that matters to you and join in the conversation!!
After painstaking months of working with the typesetter on my Asexual Perspectives book from January until around the end of March/beginning of April, and still having typesetting issues that needed to be sorted, and having spent another 3 nights last week, working on all those issues, I am relieved that I could finally print this final 560 page book proof, before I order a copy to check from Amazon, so I can finally hit the publish button to the world. Not long to go now… I cannot wait to hold this book in my hand!!
I must have edited it well over 15 times, considering all the editing I did prior to the typesetting, and it has gone through a final proof read and edit these past two days, and I am doing the typing up of those as we speak. I love writing but all the book formatting stuff is tough!!
Making a full-time living out of writing, is my dream, and my hugest passion is for asexuality, I really want to write more books for asexuals, as this is my huge specialist niche and I truly believe that I am born to get asexuality recognised as a sexual orientation in its own right throughout the globe, so that no asexual have to live in fear of ridicule ever again. The more people who buy, share, like, and give good reviews for this Asexual Perspectives book, the more that will help with this. I really need more amazing reviews, so when you get a copy, please could you leave one? It will really help me out!! Thank you!!
With 560 pages of insights into asexuality and how asexuals survive in a sexualised world; how they manage their relationships, and busting through many asexual myths and stereotypes about love, live and sex; including arousal and masturbation, it will be an intriguing read and answer many questions you may have about asexuality that are constantly on your mind, causing you confusion and frustration! It is told in the voices of 46 different asexuals around the globe, using their own language, dialects, slang and mannerisms! As well as my own. It took me almost a year to interview for it; write/edit it, so you are getting more book for your buck!! It is not only educational, but humorous too!!
Until next time, check out the Kindle Version and stay ace! xx
UPDATE: Asexual Perspectives Print Edition is out now and you can buy it here https://amzn.to/2Pl6aJd
