How To Be Your Authentic Asexual Self By Being Who You’re Meant To Be Not Who You’re Born Into Being

Are you living who you are meant to be? πŸ€”

Or are you living who you are conditioned into being? πŸ€”

I think it’s so important for people to lean into who they truly are, by listening to your own inner voice, rather than other’s which is trying to drown out your own.

On Wednesday last week, my interview about asexuality with Jennifer Regular on her Awaken And Ascend podcast was published at 11pm BST. And I had asked her for a video clip to put on my own channel, so I could announce when my episode was about to air. 

The video clip she chose is all about authenticity and was the central message I wanted her audience to takeaway, that sometimes we are born into being something – in my case heterosexual, when in reality we’re meant to be something else – in my case I was really asexual and didn’t know it – see what I mean by watching the clip here https://youtu.be/Kn_M3KAvL_g?si=tHOuuuufl9nMr5dc  or by watching the video below, underneath this text πŸ‘‡

I would love you to listen to my whole episode about how to be your authentic asexual self, which  I did with Jennifer Regular on her Awaken And Ascend podcast.

Central themes are asexuality, authenticity, and how society conditions us into being – when REALLY we can be something different – which is very appropriate for Pride Month – Happy Pride if you celebrate it. 

Click through this link to watch the full interview  πŸ‘‰πŸΏ https://youtu.be/R-ZV9hjef8s?si=eEkPoUe3YrmTuiZF or watch the video below πŸ‘‡

 

In this interview I share my asexual life journey and how to Be Who You’re Meant To Be Not What You’re Born Into Being.

I talk about:

β€’ An asexual life

β€’ Desiring romance without sex

β€’ The asexual spectrum

β€’ Physical attraction vs. arousal 

β€’ Asexual vs. celibate

β€’ Awakening to being different

β€’ Advice from a therapist

β€’ Passionate kissing when you’re asexual

β€’ My asexuality mission

β€’ Discovering yourself and your passion β€’ Living your authentic life

β€’ Building community

β€’ Overcoming societal conditioning 

β€’ Standing in your convictions

β€’ Being congruent with what you think and feel

Jennifer Regular, the host of Awaken And Ascend podcast, selects show guests who are transformational specialists that can help others step into a fuller expression of who they are, by sharing their insights, knowledge and wisdom from their own life experience. Her website is here https://lightingthepath.ca/

I feel so honoured to have been chosen as one of those transformational specialists who is living on purpose with helping asexuals, writing books, and always striving to fulfil my asexual life mission of – getting asexuality recognised as an sexual orientation in its own right so no asexual has to live in fear of ridicule ever again.

While not every asexual lives in fear of ridicule and a number are out loud and proud with no fear, there are still others around the globe, who sadly either don’t feel they can come out, or who my be punished in some way by their family, or others, for doing so.

And it’s my mission to help foster global acceptance by spreading the word of asexuality to as many thought-leaders and across as many podcasts and other media outlets as possible, and especially to get heterosexuals to understand asexuality, as they are still the largest sexuality population – and so this is where I feel we can have the most impact on changing lives and the way society views sex, love, and relationships.


A recent live video I did on my Asexualise My Asexual Life channel which was one of the more popular recent live streams I’ve done, was also about authenticity…

Have you ever struggled to be your true authentic self?

Or are you confused about what it means to be your true authentic self and the dangers of not being your true authentic self?

If so, then this video below is for youπŸ‘‡ so please click through it and watch it, or click through this link https://www.youtube.com/live/MkMaP77mjbg?si=eZf1mQDf4xs8mB0m

In this live stream episode I started with life lesson 56, from my Bestselling Diary Confessions Of A Hyper-romantic asexual book, which you can get on Amazon here https://amzn.to/4bhxC3Z in fact this hit the bestseller list again yesterday, even though it was a bestseller in April after I published it.

Here is a screenshot from yesterday – Monday 24th June 2024 – bestsellers change hourly.

“Not everyone is going to like you and get on with you and vice versa, and that’s okay, but remaining true to who you are, in spite of what others say, think and do – about you, is important. You can’t be someone you’re not just to please other people. You need to live your life for you. It’s the only way to true success and happiness, and it will take courage and strength to keep you as you, in a world where people are trying to make you conform to their way of being. Stand your ground and keep being you. You’re beautiful just as you are, and not everyone is going to see that – but it’s usually because they can’t be their true authentic self, like you can, and that’s why you bother them the most.”

This is from my Diary Confessions Of A Hyper-romantic Asexual – 78 life lessons to ACE your life – book, so don’t forget to get a copy from Amazon here https://amzn.to/4bhxC3Z

So first of all, what does it mean to be your true authentic self?

As I said in this quote, it means being who you are regardless of what anyone else says, thinks, or does.

Before I helped asexuals, I was actually known as quirky, and I published under my own book publishing imprint of quirky books – which I still do.

I have an embrace your quirky philosophy, which is all about embracing your true authentic self, no matter what anyone else says, thinks, or does.

And this is a philosophy I still abide by and rings true with me to this day.

And being your authentic self is being in your personal power as you and who you are.

With it being pride month, June 2024, it’s a very good opportunity to celebrate all our differences and our uniqueness.

And in order to see our uniqueness, we need to be our authentic self. 

It’s being true to who you are, and it’s letting the world see yourself.

Every person’s self is different because we’ve all got different DNA.

We’ve all got different genetic makeup.

We’ve all been raised differently.

We’ve got different environments around us, and so we each bring unique gifts to the table, unique gifts to the world.

When I say gifts, you could think of them as experiences, skills, life lessons, things that have happened to you in your life that you can then use to help other people or help yourself or do both.

Watch the full episode now here https://www.youtube.com/live/MkMaP77mjbg?si=eZf1mQDf4xs8mB0m and don’t forget to hit the subscribe button and the bell icon, so you never miss another episode.


About Sandra:

Sandra Bellamy is an International Bestselling Author and Publisher, Speaker, Trainer, advisor and coach. She’s most famous for her reality-TV-style chat show and vlog, Asexualise My Asexual Life, which has had over 833,000 views. Educating people about the sexual orientation that is asexuality and inspiring and empowering asexuals to be comfortable and confident as their authentic self, using her own asexual life journey to help others with advice and guidance on love, life, confidence, dating, relationships, self-love and self-care. 

For asexual education, information, entertainment and lifestyle videos – subscribe here / asexualisemyasexuallife

If you want to know more about asexuality and the asexual spectrum, and what 47 different asexuals think of love, life and sex from an asexual point of view and if you’re confused about what it really means to be asexual – get all of your questions answered in Sandra’s other bestseller Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Love, Life and Sex, ACElebration Of Asexual Diversity, here https://amzn.to/3VAGufr


Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories Is A Best Seller – Best Selling Asexual Book By Asexual Author Sandra Bellamy

Asexual Perspectives Best Seller book

On 08/08/2023 a long-awaited dream came true for me – I became a best selling author of – Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Love, Life, and Sex, ACElebration of Asexual Diversity book – which was first published in Kindle format in January 2017, and the paperback version was published later in July 2017. Get your copy here https://amzn.to/44j4rdq

It’s been my dream since starting my www.quirkybooks.wordpress.com blog in 2010, way before I started helping asexuals in 2015, to have my own book publishing imprint called Quirky Books and to be a best selling author – I’m pleased to say I’ve now achieved both. But the fact I’ve done it while helping asexuals, puts the icing firmly on the cake and makes it the cherry on the top. Combining my two greatest life passions, writing non-fiction books that change live from pain to gain and helping asexuals – feels incredibly amazing and euphoric.

I honestly believe I was put on this earth this time around (I think I’ve been here before in a past life) to help asexuals. I believe God/Universe put me here to help asexuals with love, life, confidence, dating and relationships, so you can truly ACE your life, and to fulfil my life mission – of getting asexuality recognised as a sexual orientation in its own right throughout the globe, so no asexual has to live in fear of ridicule ever again. Whilever I’m alive I will try my utmost to achieve this, and my books will live on long after I’ve gone – as my lasting legacy to still help save and change lives for future generations to come.

On 08/08/2023 – Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Love, Life, and Sex, ACElebration of Asexual Diversity book hit the Best Seller list in Human Sexuality – #51. This was an incredible achievement, not just for me personally in terms of achieving my dream, but because it was in a highly competitive category to be a best seller in, as most books in it, are traditional-style sex books, so it’s a huge achievement for an asexual book, and therefore asexuality – which is a sexual orientation based on the lack of sexual attraction – in case you’re not asexual, never heard of asexuality before, or confused.

It took me 7 years to become a registered publisher in the UK under Quirky Books. Which I achieved in 2017, and it was a dream come true for me.

And now it’s taken 6 years for Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, under that imprint, to become a best seller – as I published that in 2017 and now it’s 2023. So 6 years later I got my dream.

Yesterday I was updating my social media – and I shared this achievement on my LinkedIn profile…

And my friend saw it and posted this lovely post and kind words on LinkedIn about my Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories book – they recommended it as a #MustRead

It’s lovely when someone understands the true purpose and meaning behind your literacy work. Get your copy here https://amzn.to/44j4rdq

See the post here

So however long it takes…

However many sleepless nights…

Late nights…

However many years…

YOU CAN ACHIEVE YOUR DREAMS.

I’m so thankful to have achieved all these dreams both for me and asexuals / asexuality.

What’s next for me and asexuality???

On 23rd October 2023, I’m going to be speaking live at Oxford University for bLU Talks and I’ve already been given a lot of prep I need to do for that. I’m co-authoring a bLU Talks books, the Foreword of which is by Ken Honda from Mind Valley, and I just revised the edits of my chapter a couple of days ago for that. Both of these are inclusive of asexuality. I will be using the chapter I wrote for that book, as my foundation for my Oxford talk, that is called 9 Steps To Reinvent Yourself To Become Your Future Self. It describes how I went from being a deeply lonely, shy, and introverted girl as a child, who was scared to be on social media in 2011 and was shy to talk about sex prior to finding out I’m asexual in 2014 – to what I do now, which is helping asexuals through my www.youtube.com/asexualisemyasexuallife channel since 2015, being publicly open about being asexual and about my asexual life – all over social media, and able to talk about sex and masturbation as easily as drinking water. I describe the transformational journey I went on, to become the extroverted, loud, bubbly, talkative person I am today. Without which, I would not be able to give a voice to asexuals and help them. Although my talk is going to be based on my chapter concept in the bLU Talks book – it doesn’t have to be and I can talk about whatever I want – so long as it helps the bLU Talks audience, that is mostly made up of entrepreneurs, creatives, and spiritual people. In case you were wondering, bLU stands for business, life and universe, so the talk needs to be relevant to any of those topics areas and suitable for their audience. They spell bLU with a lower case b for their branding – in case you thought it should be capitalised.

I also have a virtual stage talk I will be doing for bLU Talks in the future and I’ve completed the first stage of an initial application to a TedX UK event next year, to do a talk about asexuality – the organiser will have a Zoom call with me in January / February 2024, to explain how the process works from that initial application.

So I still have lots to achieve… and tons more to do.

Plus, I’m still finishing the final edits of my Asexual Guide To Sex book – a book I’ve been working on for over 4 years now.

AND…. All of this goes towards achieving my life mission of getting asexuality recognised as a sexual orientation in its own right throughout the globe, so no asexual has to live in fear of ridicule ever again.

I’ve also been given 2 High Five rewards #youtubehighfive by YouTube for my original channel https://www.youtube.com/quirkybooksTV which only has 172 subs as that was my first channel which also goes with my Quirky Books blog and my book publishing imprint, although it’s no longer my main channel, as my Asexualise My Asexual Life channel is, so I haven’t paid much attention to it until I got my first reward – it feels amazing that my hard work is finally being recognised by YouTube, and I’ve been interviewed on top rated podcasts talking about asexuality – more on that in later articles when those interviews go live.

I got 2 cinema codes from YouTube for FREE VUE cinema tickets. One I used to see Gran Turismo – amazing movie, which I did a movie review of on my Asexualise channel – see the video below, and the second one I will be redeeming before 2nd Of September.

Feels good to have been making so much progress this year, especially for asexuals and asexuality – as well as my Quirky Books / writing.

As always, stay ACE

Sandra xx

P.S. If you’ve not already done so, get your own copy of BEST SELLER asexual book – Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Love, Life, and Sex, ACElebration of Asexual Diversity here https://amzn.to/44j4rdq

And you can still grab a copy of my autobiographical superhero-style Fibromyalgia Self-Help Handbook for half price (50% OFF) on Kindle OR Β£3.00 OFF the paperback here https://amzn.to/3YMKHhj until midnight UK time, on 31st August 2023. So grab a copy of that at the same time, if you want to reduce pain in 25 aspects of your life, have more energy and be happier – most of the methods I teach in this book for managing fibromyalgia (anxiety and depression) can help you even if you don’t have fibro, as they are transferable skills.

Whether you decide to buy the books or not, thanks for your continued support – I appreciate it so much xx