Asexuality Unveiled – Sandra Bellamy Empowering A Global Asexual Community – Featured on Humans of Fuzia

Posted on by Asexualise

Asexuality Unveiled – Proud to be featured on Humans of Fuzia, who approached me for an interview, sharing my very personal asexual life story from self-loathing to empowering a global community.

Humans of Fuzia are on a storytelling mission with a particular focus on inspiring and empowering their community of over 5 Million+ Women.


In this article interview, I had to answer questions that were both personal and professional.

Which included:

What was my life like growing up?

What is my initiative and how is it helpful for people? This is about my asexuality mission. 

What was my experience of the Covid-19 pandemic?

What has been the response to my venture?  To the things I do to help asexuals.

How has my life changed? Since I started to help asexuals.

Who is my support system.

And what change I would like to see in the world, this was my answer:

“I would like the world to accept asexuality and that there are some people who genuinely don’t like, want, or need sex. So we can help prevent sexual abuse situations and make dating and relationships a better experience for all.”

Please give this article a read, Asexuality Unveiled: A Journey From Self-Loathing to Empowering a Global Community, here

https://www.humansoffuzia.com/asexuality-unveiled-a-journey-from-self-loathing-to-empowering-a-global-community/

As always, stay ACE

Sandra xx

FREE TICKET TO VIRTUAL BE AND BECOME SUMMIT – FEATURING ASEXUALITY – DON’T MISS THIS!

Posted on by Asexualise
Sandra Bellamy Speaker At the Be And Become Summit

LESS THAN 10 DAYS TO GO UNTIL THE BE AND BECOME SUMMIT –

DON’T MISS THIS!


Have you got your FREE ticket yet?

Don’t miss out!

With less than 10 days to go until the Be and Become Summit, I don’t want you to miss out on this ACEsome opportunity to hear me speak about asexuality and how to reinvent yourself to become your best future self.

I know some of you wanted to see me speak at Oxford University for bLU Talks about asexuality and how it completely transformed my life and self, but you couldn’t make it because it was an in person meetup event in the UK.

Many of you wished to see that talk but online – well I’m so happy to say, that I’m speaking online at the Be and Become Summit on 14th of December at 6.20PM ET – 11.20PM GMT – so it’s less than 10 days to go now! 

And my talk at the Be and Become Summit, is based on the talk I did at Oxford University.

Some of the types of feedback I got about this talk were:

“Now I understand what asexuality is, whereas I was confused before., but it all became clear”

“I enjoyed your talk.”

“I thought your talk was good and interesting, even though it’s not something I would usually be looking to learn about.”- They also agreed I made it relatable to the audience, most of whom were not asexual – one woman thought she might be asexual after hearing my talk, and getting clarity.

I would love to have more ACE friends and representation in the audience, so please grab yourself a free ticket here, and let’s ACE IT together

https://mailchi.mp/bbconsulting.biz/sandrabellamythe-be-and-become-summit

I’m the first Keynote Speaker, on the first day, Thursday 14th December, of this 2 day event – the Be and Become Virtual Summit, #beandbecomesummit 

So you don’t have to wait a long time to hear me talk and you can come and go as you please.

For clarification, the event in on the 14th and 15th of December, and each day it officially starts at 6pm ET (EASTERN TIME) which is 11 AM GMT UK TIME. My talk on the 14th of December, is at 6.20pm ET (EASTERN TIME) and as I’m in the UK it will be 11.20pm GMT UK TIME, when I’m speaking for 20 minutes, straight after the host has introduced the summit and why she decided to create it.

I’m talking about how to reinvent yourself to become your best future, sharing how asexuality transformed my life in multiple ways, for the better, forever.

The summit, will primarily focus on mental health difficulties and how these affect your life (and business if you have one).  

So it will have a mixture of business people as well as asexuals in the virtual audience.

It’s about how to transform your pain into your personal power, to overcome adversities, in spite of any mental health challenges you might be experiencing, and a number of different speakers besides me, will also be sharing their own personal story of how they went from pain to purpose.

I will be sharing how I went from being a depressed mess with no purpose, to everything I do now to help asexuals, be a bestselling author and publisher, and live my best asexual life.

I will be explaining the multiple self-reinventions i’ve made. especially since discovering i’m asexual in 2014.

I hope you can join me on this summit, which is virtual and free – so there is no travelling involved.  

I would love to have your support, so we can ACE IT together!
Please get your FREE Virtual ticket here https://mailchi.mp/bbconsulting.biz/sandrabellamythe-be-and-become-summit

You don’t have to have a business to join, so if you work for an employer, or you don’t currently work, that’s okay, in the Business Name box of the registration form, just write follower of Sandra Bellamy and interested in the content – or something similar.
You don’t have to be on camera or speak yourself – you can just listen in.

It would mean to world to me to have your support at the summit.

This FREE ticket offer is open to anyone, regardless of where you live.

This event is ACE for spreading awareness and understanding of asexuality to a global audience! The more awareness we have, the more asexuals will discover each other, and the more inclusive our world will be – how ACE is that?

My mission is to get asexuality recognised as a sexual orientation in its own right throughout the globe, so that no asexual has to live in fear of ridicule ever again – and the more asexual awareness I can raise, the better.

Never give up on your ACE Dreams!

Sandra xx

What Does It Mean To Be Asexual – What Is Asexuality And The Asexual Spectrum

Posted on by Asexualise

Have you’ve ever wondered what does it mean to be asexual? How do I know if I’m asexual? How can I tell if I’m asexual? What is asexuality? And what is the asexual spectrum?

If the answer is yes to any of these questions, you’ve come to the right place.

Please watch this video below, which I created especially for you to explain more in-depth about what does it mean to be asexual.

This video also explains the asexual spectrum in a way which you should find easy to understand and be able to relate to in some way, including the Aro Ace spectrum within it.

To give you a starting point of what is means to be asexual and aromantic, you can read these Asexual Flag quotes below, but please watch the video above, for a more in-depth picture of what it truly means to be asexual and part of the asexual spectrum.

 

 

 

Watch the video below for the full explanation of what does it mean to be asexual and what is the asexual spectrum.

As always, stay ACE.

Sandra xx

Asexualise YouTube Channel (Sandra Bellamy)

Posted on by Asexualise

So, my friend Sandra, as well as writing Asexual Perspectives and other books, also has a YouTube channel, where she discusses, among other things, asexuality, relationships, self development and personal improvement. She often has livestreams on the channel. These can vary in duration from around 20-25 minutes up to a couple of hours, dependent on […]

Asexualise YouTube Channel (Sandra Bellamy)

18 Benefits Of Being Asexual And Not Sexually Attracted To Anyone!

Posted on by Asexualise

Asexualise T Shirt18 benefits of being asexual and not sexually attracted to anyone!

1 – We can easily say no to those asking for sex.

2 – We can easily block those people who message us to be friends but really want sex.

3 – We can dance in nightclubs and bars, knowing no matter how much someone pleads with us to have sex, the answer is no.

4 – When someone offers in a bar or club to go back to theirs for a drink, we know it means sex and can say a definite no.

5 – We are careful who we add to our Facebook friends list because we have high standards and don’t want sex.

6 – We understand that the majority of people who say let’s do Netflix and chill, really mean let’s have sex and get hot and sweaty.

7 – We don’t have to dress up and put makeup on to be appealing for having sex, we can just chill in our pjs or superhero/cute outfits and have fun.

8 – We can kiss and touch if we want to, without it ever leading to sex.

9 – We cannot get pregnant from all that sex we are not having.

10 – We have more time and energy to do other things and be productive, whilst others are having sex and preparing themselves for it.

11 – We can be trusted to never physically cheat on you, because we don’t ever want sex with anyone. We are more loyal and faithful in this way, by default.

12 – We can experience multiple other attractions, just not sexual. And we can separate these different types of attractions.

13 – We can potentially be in a relationship with someone who is impotent, celibate, or who has a disability which prevents them from having sex. Because we don’t ever need sex. And we can love them as they are.

14 – Our love for someone is based more on a person’s personality, and their heart, mind, and soul, because we don’t need their genitals to keep up happy and attract us to them.

15 – Our love is based on a deep emotional connection, that needs to be maintained and sustained, to have a long, loving, happy, healthy, relationship, because it’s not based on sex but bestest ever friendship and soulmate connection. In this way it’s the purest love you can get, as genitals are not involved.

16 – Asexuals who want a serious relationship are more likely to put the time, energy, and effort, into getting a relationship and making it work, as it’s rarer for us to be able to get someone in the first place.

17 – Asexuals are more likely to get into relationships with people they have lots in common with, such as hobbies and interests, so there is more chance of longevity.

18 – Asexuals are different and their uniqueness is their gift the world. We are free of conditioning and social conformities, and have the ability to see people and the world, in a completely different way to everyone else. Which is like a superpower and special gift.

 

These are 18 benefits of asexuals who are not sexually attracted to anyone! Asexuality is a spectrum, so in general, those on the Grey Asexual end of the asexual spectrum, can sometimes feel sexual attraction, under limited, rare, or specific circumstances. Or they can experience it, but not enough to want to act on it.

Also some asexuals can cheat emotionally and also I have known of a few who are chatting up multiple women at once, or in a relationship and still pursuing another with someone else.

Some asexuals who love sexuals, can find it hard to say no to having sex, or to stop the connection. This is why it’s super important to be upfront and honest about the fact you are asexual before you get into a relationship, especially if you don’t want sex at all. Remember it’s your body and your life, and you always have the ability to walk away. And if you discovered you are asexual while in a relationship, always remember, it’s better to be single, than to be with someone who is sexually incompatible and you can’t make each other happy. There are a few sexuals who can be in relationships with asexuals without sex, and if you are an asexual person who doesn’t mind having sex, then a relationship with a sexual person could work, depending on if you can both agree on standards, boundaries, and expectations for the relationship, both now and for your future together, to be happy and satisfying to both/all people concerned.

ASEXUAL AWARENESS WEEK 21-27TH OCTOBER 2018 – Coming Out As Asexual

Posted on by Asexualise

Today marks the start of Asexual Awareness Week from Oct 21st-27th 2018. Otherwise know as #aceweek.

This is the week that many people around the world go that extra mile to raise awareness of Asexuality and it is a huge opportunity for those who have not yet come out as asexual but been thinking about it for some time, to do just that, and come out. This could be to family, to friends, or to a loved one, or all 3.

If you are thinking about coming out but not sure how to go about it, one of the other speakers at the UK Asexuality Conference said they found it best to explain how they feel in regard to having sex, rather than at first say they are asexual, which can be harder to understand.

Before I knew I am asexual, I used to say to heterosexual guys I dated, that I didn’t like sex. I didn’t even know asexuality existed back then, but I knew I didn’t like sex. I think this is an easier concept to grasp because people can relate to the fact that not everyone likes doing everything, in this case sex, whereas a lack of sexual attraction is more harder to understand; unless you are asexual, it is something that is never usually talked about – not unless you are fortunate enough to have bumped into someone who is asexual in your life, or seen an article, documentary, or radio show about it, or you just happen to come across it online.

If you haven’t yet read my Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Love, Life and Sex, ACElebration of Asexual Diversity book, I first discovered I am asexual in 2014, when I went to see a counsellor because I couldn’t date heterosexuals any more for fear of them wanting sex at the end of the date; it made me so very anxious that I almost wet myself. But, I said I still like kissing. She said she was very worried about me because I would have to have sex in order to keep a good guy. I was absolutely devastated as it was the worst thing she could have said to me, as I just couldn’t do it anymore.

Watch this short video above which explains that moment with the counsellor! https://youtu.be/2QDL9kHa-vQ

So after the counsellor said that to me, I got home and went online, I Googled “I love kissing but not sex” and that was when I discovered www.asexuality.org and asexuality, and after 3 weeks of research I finally understood not only that I am asexual, but what part of the asexual spectrum I was. It was a wonderful feeling of joy and relief to finally know there were others like me, who could live and love without sex.

What are you up to for Asexual Awareness Week?

In the last 3 weeks I have been preparing for Asexual Awareness Week by designing and producing lots of new Asexualise Asexual T-Shirts and merchandise for asexuals. Down below is a screenshot of some of those designs. Please click the following link for the full range of merchandise in my shop https://www.redbubble.com/people/asexualise/shop.

Asexualise Awareness Week

Asexualise T-Shirts are now on amazon UK here https://amzn.to/2OCEl2U

Until next time, stay ace,

Sandra

Happy shopping https://www.redbubble.com/people/asexualise/shop

 

8 Reasons Why I Refuse To Date Sexuals!

Posted on by Asexualise

asexual reasons for not dating sexuals

8 Reason why I refuse to date sexuals:

  1. In my experience they cannot live happily forever without sex and I don’t like, need or want that, ever again in my life!The end!Okay, so I have some more reasons but they are linked to the first
  2. Their thinking is different.
  3. They cannot kiss for long periods of time without getting frustrated and pressurising to have sex with them.
  4. They would view a cute pair of PJs as something that needs to be removed quickly for sex. And I like wearing cute PJs and I don’t want sex.
  5. They may want to get their sexual needs met elsewhere and I am 100% a monogamous girl!
  6. They will usually end up going off with someone else due to the lack of sex.
  7. Incompatible needs and intentions.
  8. Can’t make each other happy sexually and that will inevitably lead to other problems such as resentment, unsatisfaction and lack of fulfilment, feeling neglected or rejected and communication becomes lacking as the gap between us widens.

To sum it up, we are just not compatible and I am not prepared to put myself through that heartache ever again.

There is however, someone in my Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories book who is asexual and said they are with a bisexual person and the sex (or lack of it) was never an issue. I think this is extremely rare, especially if the relationship is monogamous, but nothing is completely impossible in all cases.

As I update this blog post in September 2018, I did try dating a sexual for 2 months in 2017, and I stopped dating him because he turned out to be a real psycho not because of the no sex aspect – but that was also a huge worry for me and he even understood it was better for me to be with an asexual. A mutual friend afterwards said he would have cheated on you.

I know of one sexual person that is married to an aromantic asexual in a monogamous married relationship but the lack of sex makes them unhappy in the relationship aspect of their life. I also met a married couple at the UK Asexuality Conference and she is asexual and he is sexual – hooray for a supportive husband!

I tend to attract the highly sexual guys, so yeah, it would be great if they could live without sex, but they can’t in my experience. And ‘highly’ sexual is the clue! Plus I love Passionate kissing but never want sex, and like I said in my point (2) above, it is just too frustrating for them to do that and not get sex as the ‘reward’ or ‘prize’ they crave.

What is your thoughts? As an asexual, would you date a sexual?

Until next time, stay ACE!

Sandra xx

 

10 Awesome Benefits To NOT Having Sex!

Posted on by Asexualise

Here are 10 Awesome Benefits To NOT Having Sex!

1) You don’t have to worry about getting a STD.

2) No risk of getting pregnant or of getting someone pregnant.

3) No pressure or expectation to perform.

4) You will be loved for who you are, not for how many orgasms you can attempt to give or have.

5) Less mess and changing of bed sheets!

6) Relationship compatibility is increased because there is more focus on shared mutual interests, hobbies, likes and dislikes – rather than sexual attraction being the primary reason for the relationship to start and continue.

7) Less divorce rates due to impotency or lack of sex, if you are not having it anyway.

8) You have more time to focus on other things.

9) You don’t have to feel guilty if you are too tired to have sex or not in the mood.

10) There is more chance of getting to the root of relationship problems, and either sorting them out or cutting your losses sooner – rather than using sex as a kiss and make-up mask over the problem – leading to more frustration, hurt and pain, later on!