Me (Sandra Bellamy) Going For A Self-date To Bristol for #ICBSD International Celebrate Being Single Day.Butterfly In The Butterfly Tent At Bristol Zoo.Can You Spot The Goby?Baby Tortoise At Bristol Zoo.Blue Frog In Bristol Zoo.
Self-dating is a must for all single people, and here are 10 Reasons Why It’s Important To Self-Date!
It reconnects you with your soul!
You can get to know yourself even better.
It builds strength of character.
It boosts your confidence.
It improves your self-esteem.
It’s an act of self-love and compassion.
You can do what you want and see what you want and go where you want, without anyone saying anything negative, so you can fully enjoy the moment.
You can eat as much as you want without feeling bad or guilty. And you can buy yourself gifts to make you happy.
It emphasizes that you don’t need anyone else and empowers you to be more happy as a single person.
You know yourself better than anyone and you can create a feeling of joy, happiness and magic, all by yourself. That is super-empowering!
As you can see from these photos, I had an awesome self-date in Bristol for International Celebrating Being Single Day, #ICBSD. I went to Bristol Zoo, ate 3 meals out, and saw the movies ‘Sing’ and ‘Batman Lego Movie’. Both films were ace!
International Celebrate Being Single Day – Feb 14th.
International Celebrate Being Single Day is just around the corner (Feb 14th), and having founded this special day for singles to celebrate being single, you may be asking yourself, just what is so great about being single.
Since being predominantly single from November 5th, 2011, I began to challenge my mind about the way it thinks about being in a relationship and being single. I was in relationships with guys who were no good for me since 15 years of age – until 2011 – about 19 years of my life! With the largest period of being single in that time, just 6 months! 2 relationships I had were long term (not good for me) and lasted years. I wasn’t a happy person back then and had low self-esteem. I did not like being on my own because I felt alone and very lonely, I liked to be needed, wanted and loved, and felt I wanted someone there for me 24/7 as life would be boring on my own. I am also a very romantic person.
It is fine to want to be needed, wanted and loved – but what I have discovered is that you need to get these 3 things from yourself first and foremost; to be at one with your own soul – then you will you be happy and fulfilled as a single person and less likely to get into a relationship that is no good for you because you will not ‘need’ to be in a relationship. In fact, you may fill your own life with so much joy and happiness that being in a relationship no longer appeals to you. Either way, you will have unleashed your power of one and be on your way to being a super successful single sensation.
7 STEPS HOW TO BECOME HAPPY BEING SINGLE
Step 1. You need to take stock of your life and realise that you have a problem being single and find out why that is.
Step 2. You need to be willing to have an open mind and accept you need to change in this respect.
Step 3. If you have been in relationships for most of your life, you need to give yourself some time to yourself and vow to do all you can to stay single for a set period of time – mine was a year; so I could have time to stop ‘needing’ someone. If on the other hand you have been single all your life and would like to be in a relationship but don’t know how to go about it, then you have some work to do on yourself to ensure you can be single and be happy – as well as work to do on your dating and relationship skills. You can still enjoy dating as a single person and it is good to see what is on offer from a variety of sources, rather than thinking one person is the only choice you have!
Step 4.You need to explore and find things to build your confidence and self-esteem, as well as discover ways to help you to be happy being single. This could include learning from books, articles, training courses, magazines, blogs, videos, audio books and podcasts, or through coaching and/or being mentored.
Step 5. You need to decide what ways you learn best – visual, auditory (listen), verbal, written, – so you can pick which learning method is best for you and implement it. If you don’t know which suits you best, try each out until you find which works best for you. Being happy to be single is a skill you need to master and maintain and you need to recognise this and accept it.
Step 6. Take massive action. You need to implement what you have learned, if you are not prepared to do this then you will stay stuck being single and unhappy – everyone has a choice regardless of their circumstances. If you have no money there is free to watch YouTube videos, blog posts and online articles to read. There is no excuse for not changing your life!
Step 7. Evaluate and monitor your progress via each learning method. If something doesn’t work, then try something else until you can honestly say you are happy being single.
For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you may have seen my www.Twitter.com/quirkycoaching profile and thought, just what is #powerofone. Power Of One is a powerful online training and coaching programme that I am creating, to show you, just how to be single and be happy being single.
How are you celebrating being single on Feb 14th – International Celebrate Being Single Day?
Please add #ICBSD to any posts and media you post online to show how proud you are to celebrate International Celebrate Being Single Day!!
What struggles do you have being single and what help would you like to overcome them?
There are a number of things you can do to repel unwanted advances, some are obvious and some are more subtle!! Here are a few things you can try to repel unwanted advances!!:
In a polite way – tell them to shove their sex up their back side – You are not interested in having sex with anyone no matter how ‘sexy’, ‘hot’ or ‘gorgeous’ they are. Or if you are a demisexual, tell them – ‘You will have to wait! And wait! And wait! – But the best things come to the who wait!”
Tell people you are asexual, not a sexual, within the first few minutes of speaking to the person who has shown a remote interest in you. ( I do this, sometimes even before they show an interest in me, because it saves me a lot of hassle and handles objections before they have time to raise them.)
Unfortunately, not everyone on Asexual Dating sites and within the asexual community are honest!
I know from both personal experience and through those experiences of my ace friends that some guys claiming to be asexual are actually not and they are heterosexual and pretending to be ace! How do I know this? Because some have admitted it to me, others have admitted it to other aces I know and other’s show it by their words or actions – including sending an unwanted picture of their penis! This is disgusting and something I wish to highlight to discourage it. It makes life more difficult for those who are ace and want genuine and honest relationships, be that a romantic relationship, platonic relationship, or friendship.
In this video I explain more about asexual scammers!
Unfortunately I have had past experience of some sexual guys treating women like pieces of meat – It’s the sex they desire regardless, and they will say some nasty things when you don’t deserve them, just to make you either feel so bad that you think you must have sex, or when you refuse, that you are worthless, ugly, and unlovable.
These guys are shallow and will stop at nothing to get what they want. Sex is just a commodity to them and feelings don’t matter apart from they want to abuse them and manipulate you to do what they want. They cause you pain, get your brain to think you have a problem; then entice you to stop the problem, to their advantage. This is a form of emotional and mental abuse and you need to know it is not your fault and you have done nothing wrong. Even though they will try to get you to believe there is something wrong with you, there isn’t.
Then there are the guys that make you feel like you will lose them because they are more mature than you because you don’t have sex. Again, the end goal is to get the sex.
These guys are what put respectful and thoughtful guys to shame. And although my experience is on the receiving end of some guys, there will no doubt be some women who make guys feel bad if they don’t have sex too.
It has been reported that one in 3 relationships will be abusive, and if you have come across this type of guy or girl, don’t get into a relationship with one, because you are worth more than sex and a guy’s opinion of you, and you don’t need to have sex to be worthy of respect and love, it’s your basic human right. If you are in a relationship like this, seek help, support, and a way to safely leave. If you were thinking about getting into one because you are at fault in some way, you are not, it’s your life and no one should be manipulating you and making you feel bad about something you are not comfortable in doing, and you are free to walk away, so ensure you do.
I am not a councillor or medical practitioner. I am just giving you advice from experience and hope it makes a difference to your life.
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