What is the hardest part of writing a book? BEHIND THE SCENES PART ONE. What is the hardest part of writing a book? Special Edition Video Series. In this video series I give you a behind the scenes look at what it is really like to be a writer and author. Part Two, in the next blog post, shows more of the making of the book and my daily routine.
UPDATE: This book is out now in both digital Kindle format as well as paperback here https://amzn.to/2wsO8Oi
Almost done! My Asexual Perspectives, Love, Life and Sex, ACElebration Of Asexual Diversity book is almost finished and ready for publication. I am just doing the final amendments.
This book is around 442 pages at 16pt font size, with 46 asexual interviewees from around globe and across the asexual spectrum, sharing their own personal story to help you. Offering their unique perspective and advice!
I have puposefully kept the style and tone very conversational and informal, like you are having a conversation with a friend. I have allowed both English and American spelling of words in this book to maintain authenticity with minimal editing and colloqiualisms. All of this makes it a ‘quirky book’.
I have a philosophy in life – “Throw away the rule book and create your own!” – Sandra Bellamy Quote
It will be up to you to YOU to decide if you agree with each perspective in the book or not! – Out soon! Watch this space for more details!
In the meantime – stay ace!
UPDATE: Asexual Perspectives is out now to buy in both digital Kindle format and Paperback https://amzn.to/2wsO8Oi
For my asexual friends – ‘The Alpha and His Ace’ features an Asexual character and is currently free on Amazon Kindle – but be quick and get this now as I have no idea when this offer started and ends, but it will not be free for more than 5 days and could end today!!
Here is the Amazon.com link: http://amzn.to/2bxKaep
Click this link for the UK site: http://amzn.to/2aSf8hg
We have really missed you!
So sorry that Asexualise was offline for a few days! I phoned my web host in the USA as I could not access this site at all and it was a plugin causing the problem, so that has been deleted!
Regarding my Asexual Perspectives book, I have had a few aces email me, saying they would like to be in it, despite the fact I officially closed new interviewees, which is lovely. I have been thinking about other ace books I want to write and believe I should be writing a short ebook as an introduction to asexuality for those completely new to the term. What do you think about this?
A guy is filming a series on sexualities and was asking on Aven for volunteers who are asexual, to contribute to the Asexuality video. I volunteered and the film maker Skyped me to tell me more and to also get help understanding asexuality more. He has yet to decide who will be in it. I was happy to help regardless.
My furry kid Snow was rushed to the vets a little over 3 week’s ago and had to have emergency surgery on her teeth as she had stopped drinking and was barely eating, she was dehydrated too. She was diagnosed with a one off condition – her tongue is attached to her cheeks!! There was nothing on Google about it! Because of this her teeth become overgrown and she will need 3 operations on her teeth, every year for the rest of her life to stay alive; plus checkups every two months, and taxis there and back as the vets is at the opposite end of the city to where I live and the bus gets overcrowded and is not so safe. They have said they cannot separate the tongue from the cheeks. So every promotional period in my day job I am now working 6 days a week instead of 5, to pay for this, as the insurance company will only pay half maximum this year and may exclude this completely upon renewal next year. I started working 6 days in a row this week for the next 5 weeks!
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Oh! I almost forgot to say! I own the custom channel URL now http://www.youtube.com/c/asexualisemyasexuallife So if you are not already subscribed to that, please do!
Thanks for your continued support and stay ace.
Feeling alone is a sexualised world can be tough. I remember from a very young age that I hated the concept of doctors and nurses and felt invaded when I was put in that position by a boy at only 6 years of age. To me it wasn’t playing, it was disgusting, but I felt I had to oblige and then felt guilty about it for years afterwards, because I knew it was wrong, or a least it was to me!
I am not saying every asexual feels like this, but this is what I experienced and would still feel if I was put in that position today. The day I found out I am asexual I was amazed at the concept that love without sex existed and there was hope that finally I would meet a guy I can be romantic with, without him requesting or expecting sex from me. I could choose to decide never to have sex again and it was okay – ‘I don’t want it, don’t need it and not having it’, was like a breath of fresh air to me. It was like finally I don’t have to have sex. In the past I did, but not anymore. This is the true me, the real me. Don’t get me wrong, I do class myself as a Grey A, not because I ever want sex, like the stereotypical Grey A is boxed and labeled to be – yes, even asexuals get stereotyped or so closely defined that there may not be an exact tick box that you fit, but you decide what you feel most comfortable with describing you. But because I think I am a bit of an asexy kissing seducer with clothes on! But this is it, clothes come off? No thank you. It doesn’t excite me to get my clothes off and I don’t find the naked body appealing, although I do like my own naked body, particularly my top half and yes, as a heteroromantic I only get attracted to guys and if I were to see a part of my ace boyfriend naked, if I had a boyfriend, which I don’t, it would be his arms and shoulders that I would like to see, and at best his chest naked – I get attracted to a guy’s face and frame, not his dangly bits!
Now I realise if you are reading this and not a Grey A asexual, that some of the things I just mentioned to do with my Grey A bits, may be too asexy – or even considered too sexual for you, particularly the word ‘excited’, like if she is ace why would she like to get physically excited, but I do like to get naturally excited through kissing. I don’t think sex is a natural way to get excited, as least not for me, I don’t enjoy it, it hurts, and you have to put a lot of work into it, to get not much out of it, a few bits of cuming/climaxing, or whatever you want to call it – some liquid squirts out, is that it? What’s satisfying about that! Just like masturbation does nothing for me in terms of real excitement and I find it personally quite yucky as it makes me feel sick! Even though I can see how it can get addictive – that is also why I like to call myself a Grey A. The ironic thing is, I usually don’t like grey areas, I usually like everything to be black and white, but my sexuality is two fold. One, I am definitely asexual, I don’t call myself a Grey asexual, because there is no greyness over whether I am ace or not, but two, I don’t fit into the usual one size fits all heteroromantic because of my Grey areas, such as the passionate kissing with the tongue, bodies intertwined with clothes on that I like to enjoy, if I had a boyfriend and was in a monogamous, serious relationship. Until that time though, I don’t need to worry about that, and can focus on my career and helping other aces to grow and be comfortable and confident with their own asexuality.
This is what I am going to be talking about in my new ‘Asexual Perspectives, Love Life and Sex, ACElebration of Diversity’ book, that I have interviewed now around 40 asexuals for, who will appear in the book. That there are so many different perspectives within the variations of the asexual spectrum, that each one is valid and that even stereotypes within the asexual community exist, as well as the stereotypes that society gives to asexuals, such as we all want platonic friendships/relationships – whilst this is true that some do, some don’t! And we all have different experiences in our asexual journey, that we can share to help others, rather than being confined, we can come out!
If you like this blog, please subscribe and leave a comment, and I will catch you on the next blog post next week!
Sandra x
