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Revealed to you… the one that can make all the difference!
When Disaster Strikes, My Asexual Story – How To Arrange A Successful Online Asexual Meetup – Asexual Meetup Mastery! Don’t Miss This!
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Why We Need More Asexual Meetup Organisers – Asexualise Academy – Asexual Meetup Courses
If you have been part of my ACE community for some time, you will know, I am an asexual Author, Speaker, Trainer, and Coach. I am known as Asexualise, The Asexual Entrepreneur, or ACE Fibro Girl. Or by my birth name Sandra Bellamy, under Quirky Books, which is my own publishing imprint.
My expertise lies firstly, in spreading awareness of asexuality, particularly in context of real life situations. To make it more relatable and easy to understand. And secondly, in helping asexuals to become more comfortable and confident in themselves and with their asexuality. I do this by sharing my own life experience, knowledge, skills, and give you the tools you need to not just survive, but thrive, in this highly sexualised world. Both are equally important to me.
On July 8th, 2018, I was a speaker at the UK Asexuality Conference, in London. Giving a 49 minute talk about how to organise an asexual meetup for beginners. That talk is currently on my channel for free. Here https://youtu.be/RfcZJRaCLls
Did you know, on that same day, I also launched my Asexualise Academy. Which is the World’s First Online Training Centre And School, For Asexuals And Asexuality. It was a proud moment for both asexuality and me personally.
I have been organising and holding my own asexual meetups, for over 5 years now. I started in January 2015.
You can hear more about how that happened and how asexual meetups truly transformed my life, for the better, forever, https://youtu.be/bH5yKeE_ESI
Do not miss this!
Do you…
- Feel lost, lonely, and misunderstood?
- Feel like you have no support?
- Feel like friends, family, and those around you, just don’t get you?
- Feel isolated from other asexuals and cut off from them?
- Feel other asexuals are out of reach?
- Feel frustrated by the lack of asexuals near to where you live?
- Long to just meet another asexual in person or via video chat? But you don’t know how to go about making this happen? And you’re scared you’ll get it wrong!
Do you…
- Know asexuals that feel suicidal, because people in their immediate environment are not asexual, and they just don’t understand them. They feel invalidated. They feel bad about themselves and have low self-esteem. (Maybe this is you?)
- Know asexuals who are in a dark place and depressed state, with little hope the future? (Maybe this is you?)
- Know asexuals who feel like they don’t belong in this world? They feel like an alien who has lost their spaceship and can’t find their way home? (This was me, before I started organising and holding asexual meetups. It was a very lonely place to be.)
But… If You Ignore The Feeling Of Isolation, Of Disconnection, Of Emptiness, Of Loneliness, And Despair, It Just Gets Worse!
What most people do when feeling lonely, isolated, disconnection, or in despair, they talk to their friends, their family, their loved ones, a therapist, or a medical professional. But for most asexuals, none of that usually works.
- Many families don’t accept asexuality is real. Those that do accept it don’t fully understand it. (So you’re still left feeling lonely and misunderstood.
- Friends will often dismiss it, saying you just haven’t found the right person for you yet. (Making you feel misunderstood and invalidated.) Some friends will even feel so uncomfortable, that they change the subject. (And then you feel you can’t be yourself.)
- Loved ones may not even know you are asexual. They may be really hard to approach. It could cause confrontation. Those who do accept asexuality, and have an understanding towards you, still don’t fully understand asexuality, itself. (So you feel disconnected, alone, and miserable.)
- As you have seen from the counsellor I had, some therapists don’t accept asexuality and give really bad advice. They won’t even entertain the idea of asexuality, or encourage you to be yourself. Those who do accept it still don’t fully understand it. (So you know no matter what you say, they’ll never really get you. And the loneliness and pain just continues to build, as you’re deeply misunderstood.)
- Many medical professionals still don’t accept asexuality is real. They think there’s something wrong with your hormones, or your genitalia, or that it’s a result of trauma. Those who do accept it, still usually look at it with a clinical mind. So when you’re talking about your asexuality, they just sit there in deadly silence, and it’s that silence that says it all… (So you continue to feel isolated and in emotional pain.)
- Can you relate to any of these?Over the years, I’ve interacted with a number of different asexuals, and hands down, those who live a happier, satisfied, and so much more fulfilling life, are those who attend asexual meetups, and those who organise them.
This is because asexual meetups impact asexual lives in such a positive and meaningful way. That truly transforms their life. Here’s how…
- Asexuals gain understanding, that only comes from being with people of our own kind.
- Asexuals connect more deeply with other asexuals, because both in person and online meetups allow for that deeper connection, through flowing back and forth conversation, that you can’t get through messaging alone. And because more of the senses are involved. Such as sight. You can see them. You can see their body language, their mannerisms, and how they are in their own environment.
- The validation from being around asexuals increases confidence and self-esteem. As asexuality becomes more real – it’s solidified by seeing other ‘real life’ asexuals.
- Asexuals grow their support network of people whom they can talk to about asexuality and other things.
- Their isolation, loneliness, and despair, just disappears. As they have others who just ‘get’ them, naturally.
- They make asexual friendships for life. As well as a number of interesting acquaintances.
- The pressure to conform to social norms, just melts away, as everyone at the meetup is asexual, and on the same page with their understanding of one another, and of asexuality.
- The relief of being around people who want to be in your company and love and care about you for who you are, gives a massive boost to your self-esteem.
- The feeling of being in another person’s company, without the ulterior motive of sex, them wanting to jump your bones, or get in your pants, is vanished, in those moments with other asexuals. And that feels so good. It fosters a safe environment, were you can truly be yourself, thrive and flourish, in your own existence. As your beautiful asexual self, you were always born to be.
- In a highly sexualised world, it’s so comforting to know others feel the same way as you, and you are not alone. This in turns makes you feel so good and happy.
- Asexuals feel more positive about their asexual self, and life. While being around other asexuals, and staying connected to them.
- Having like-minded people to share your life and dreams with, gives you hope for the future.
I know what you may also be wondering. Why is this relevant to me?
Because we need more asexual organisers. Which are sadly lacking in numbers, as they are few and far between. This makes getting to one very difficult.
I have asexuals messaging me asking me to do meetups in their area, because they feel lonely, isolated, cut of from other asexuals (despite being in online asexual groups), and they are in a lot of emotional pain, distress and hurt.
But… I live in the UK, and there is only one of me. I can’t possibly get to all the places even in my own country. And it’s better to have someone who becomes a regular and familiar asexual meetup organiser face in their locality. This way they will feel more safer, stable, and confident, in returning to your meetups time and time again.
It’s a two-way street. If you yourself are in pain right now, because you have never met another asexual face-to-face on a video call or in person, now is the time to end that pain. And rather than talk about having no one in your area, you can organise asexual meetups and get people to travel to come to your own meetup.
Being an asexual meetup organiser, is the lifeline you can give to other asexuals and yourself.
If you want a different result in your life, you have to do something different and make the decision to just go for it, and become a meetup organiser. It’s up to you to end your suffering and pain! And I encourage you to help others to do the same.
Here are 3 reasons why mastering organising asexual meetups is an absolute must:
- Asexual meetups give asexuals a feeling of belonging, and of hope. They give them a sense of community, and make them feel like they are a part of something bigger. They give them something to look forward to. This works both ways. If you are feeling lonely or sad, because you aren’t around people of your own kind, it’s time to change that.
- Asexual meetups help to stop asexuals feeling suicidal, because they feel like no one understands them. They stop the loneliness and the pain, they give them a lifeline. Being a facilitator to that, will brighten up your own life and world, and make you feel so much happier that you were able to help others.
- Once you have these meetup skills, you have them for life. And never again, will you be able to say you can’t bring people together and you are lonely, because you will have all the skills, knowledge, tools and resources, to do just that, and organise any meetup you like.
There are many more reasons why mastering organising asexual meetups is a must, as you have seen from the points above.
That’s why I created How To Arrange A Successful Online Asexual Meetup and Asexual Meetup Mastery courses, on Asexualise Academy, To help you master all of the skills you need to be a professional and confident asexual meetup organiser, and get off to a flying start. With all the tools, resources, and skills, you will ever need, right at your fingertips, for life.
Asexual Meetup Mastery, which took me over 6 months to create, with over 70, almost 80 videos, besides bonuses and resources to download, also includes a MEGA BONUS right now – The entire, How To Arrange A Successful Online Asexual Meetup, course, as a FREE bonus. So that is two courses, for the price of the Asexual Meetup Mastery course.
If you want to hold both in person and online meetups, you need to get Asexual Meetup Mastery, now. 💜 Order Asexual Meetup Mastery here 👉https://courses.asexualiseacademy.com/course/details/asexual-meetup-mastery and get, How To Arrange A Successful Online Asexual Meetup course right now, as a FREE MEGA BONUS! 💜😍😍💜
If you only ever want to hold online meetups, you need to get, How To Arrange A Successful Online Asexual Meetup, course. 👉 From my Asexualise Academy course page here – https://courses.asexualiseacademy.com/course/details/how-to-arrange-a-successful-online-asexual-meetup 😍
Don’t miss out 😢 on this opportunity of a lifetime and a lifeline.
In the meantime, watch this video to find out – Why We Need More Asexual Meetup Organisers here, https://youtu.be/YRtE8fUBS58
Here are some of the comments in that chat conversation from that discussion on my channel:
Sam M Meet ups are good for having supportive people, and helping with self acceptance and understand yourself and the community.
Sam M Hey Nic.
Nic Betancourthey sam
Megan The Curse Oh, heya.
Sam M I am planning to start attending LGBT+ meet ups to meet other nonbinary folk, but I’ll mostly run ace ones myself most likely, but may branch out.
Sam M I can’t find many.
Megan The Curse That’s true
Nic Betancourt I think when you hang out with ace people online or offline there is just less pressure. Then real connections can happen
Watch when Disaster Strikes, My Asexual Story, here, https://youtu.be/bH5yKeE_ESI Do not miss this! The Earlybird offers advertised in this video have now gone. But at the moment, you can still Order Asexual Meetup Mastery course here 👉https://courses.asexualiseacademy.com/course/details/asexual-meetup-mastery and get, How To Arrange A Successful Online Asexual Meetup course right now, as a FREE MEGA BONUS! 💜😍😍💜 So don’t delay, order now, before I change my mind about this bonus.
As Always, stay Ace
Sandra xx
P.S. If you have any questions about these courses, just email me asexualise@gmail.com – I am only ever, an email away.
A Happy Life Without Sex – Sexuality Misconceptions Busted! Asexuality Interview With Asexual Coach and Asexual Author Sandra Bellamy.
A Happy Life Without Sex – Sexuality Misconceptions Busted! Asexuality interview with Asexual Coach and Asexual Author Sandra Bellamy. Ever wondered what asexuality is really all about, and what is just false myths and stereotypes? Watch this video now, I think you will be surprised! https://youtu.be/OBBvHyR2QKw
As an Asexual Author and Asexual Coach, my dream is to have people contact me, and ask to interview me and share me knowledge of asexuality and my asexual book to the world. This is what happened when Diane Délina, ADHD/Relationship and Sex Coach approached me, to ask to interview me on her sexuality misconceptions show. I jumped at the chance. Any opportunity to raise awareness for asexuality, is a dream come true.
In this video, you will also discover Diane has since had a client who’s daughter is asexual. I am so pleased to be helping another coach to realise what it truly means to be asexual, with all it’s nuances. This means I can help more asexuals and families of asexuals. Watch the video now, to find out more https://youtu.be/OBBvHyR2QKw
That Kidist had to say about this asexuality interview.
If you want to know more about asexuality, subscribe to my channel www.youtube.com/asexualisemyasexuallife and shop for Asexual Perspectives, 47 Asexual Stories, now! Here is the link https://amzn.to/33la1QO
If you are a writer struggling with your asexuality right now, know you are not broken, there is nothing wrong with you. You are beautifully ACE.
If you want one-to one coaching, with an asexual coach, for your asexual life, and happy to invest money to change your life, contact me in the chat bubble!
As always, stay ACE
Love Sandra xx
125,000 Views On Asexualise My Asexual Life YouTube Channel – I Couldn’t Have Reached This Many Asexuals Without You
On 3rd of July, I reached 125,000 views on my Asexualise My Asexual Life YouTube channel www.youtube.com/asexualisemyasexuallife I couldn’t have reached this many asexuals and educated many allosexuals about asexuality, without your help. Thanks so much, I really appreciate it.
I am truly grateful for every subscribe, every like, every comment, every share, and every recommendation of my channel. It means such a lot.
As you know, from 1st of July 2018, this channel evolved into a daily chat show for asexuals. And I am blown away by the amount of asexuals who openly come in live chat and share their own personal stories to help others in our community there.
As I am sure you are aware, my mission is to get asexuality recognised as a sexual orientation throughout the globe, so that no asexual has to live in fear of ridicule ever again. With your help, I am getting closer to this goal.
If for some reason you haven’t yet subscribed, please join our ACE community there now www.youtube.com/asexualisemyasexuallife Besides being an asexuality education channel, I like to think of this channel as personal development for your asexual soul. And please tell all your asexual friends, so they may also benefit from the connection that comes from our community there, and I can get closer to that asexuality mission being realised.
Join me on my channel, for the final couple of days of Asexual Perspectives Awareness Month, which I founded in 2017, when I published the printed version of my Asexual Perspectives book. Celebrating our diversity across the asexual spectrum, and our differences within it. If you have never read Asexual Perspectives, you can get a copy here https://amzn.to/2X3QYGH
Once again, thank you so much for your support, it means so very much.
Love Sandra xx
Stay ACE
P.S. One thing that really helped to get more views on this channel this year, was a FREE piece of software called Tube Buddy. If you have your own YouTube channel and want to grow it, I would highly recommend this free tool. There is a paid plan if you want more advanced features. I find the FREE plan is just fine for me for this channel. I have however, bought a Pro plan for a new channel I plan to have later this year, which is not an asexual one. I will still of course, be keeping this channel. You can view what Tube Buddy has to offer here https://www.tubebuddy.com/SpreadTheTubeLove
This Is Embarrassing But Needs To Be Said!
I have to admit this is embarrassing to write, because I am sharing something so personal with you, which I never thought I would ever talk about publicly. But if it helps just one person, like you, it’s worth sharing!
When you are sick, it sucks. There is no doubt about that. Extra pain on top of pain, can hurt like hell!
(If you didn’t know I have been having a lot of pelvic pain due to an infection, I had to have antibiotics for this, which ended yesterday. I also went to the Doctor’s yesterday and have two creams, 1 for inflammation and another for ringworm on my arm!!!
Hence why I haven’t been streaming on my Asexualise channel for almost a week .)
But… when you are right about something and something is working, you shouldn’t try to fix something that isn’t broken.
However, sometimes you want to test the waters, and you break things, in order to improve other things, in theory!
But… sometimes the reality is, you were succeeding and doing so well. You changed something and then you see a decline in your health in more ways than 1.
I recently removed 2 food items, one that I eat almost daily and one that I eat at least 3 times a week, but haven’t done so for the last week. Result is poor skin, poor bowel movements… to add to my infection problem. I instantly added 1 back when I thought about what I changed, result, literally back to normal bowel movement, instead of straining on the toilet for 20 minutes, feeling like you are about to give birth! Only what pops out, or doesn’t and you have to help it, is pretty yucky to the eye!
The other 1 key ingredient to not just get healthier skin, but to decrease inflammation in multiple areas of your body, and providing less pain and more body flexibility, I go back to eating this tonight… If you have read my Fibromyalgia Self-Help Handbook, you will know what this key ingredients is. Here is the link. If you haven’t got your copy yet, get it now, before it’s too late and you end up in pain like I was last night https://amzn.to/2DuR9nn
And yes, I recommend to eat this every day, or at least every other day, 4th day without this, and your health is a goner! This hasn’t happened before as far as I can remember, unless I am on holiday and can’t get this ingredient! I have never actively chosen to not eat this, since 2014. It wasn’t that I intended to not ever eat it again, I just wanted to have a change! Sometimes change can be a good thing, in this case, not… it’s what can happen if you don’t take this…
I admit I give great advice in my books, which sometimes even I don’t always take every bit of, for myself, consistently. My friends who buy my books end up quoting my own wise words back to me. I need to re-read them to give myself a refresher! Which I do! I am not perfect and I cock-up every now and then. I hold my hand up. This has been a major cock-up for my health, but I have learned so much from this experience… and a good lesson to learn. Remove one variable at a time and you get shit, or not – as was the case with the first food, before I added it back.
I never planned to do a health experiment. But what I have learned once again, is to always, always, trust your own judgement, and when something is right, even though it may not be doing what the majority do, keep it! And if others want to be helped too by it, then that’s great! At least you know that you are 100% right, and it works crazily well and can help others if they want it to.
By now I guess you are wondering what luscious food I eat to maintain regular bowel movement and stop yourself from blocking up. So the big reveal… Hazelnut+Cacao Paleo Bars, which you can get here https://amzn.to/3erQksx They are made of fruits and nuts only, cold pressed, no crap, just good food to feed your body! And better than eating chocolate. Also suitable for vegetarians and gluten free.
If you want to know the other food ingredient, to not just get healthier skin, but to decrease inflammation in multiple areas of your body, and provide less pain and more body flexibility, get a copy of my Fibromyalgia Self-Help Handbook. Why get the book? Because it also has a whole holistic plan, for managing Fibromyalgia, so if you have a chronic pain condition although you need this essential food, you also need it as part of a holistic health regime I go through in each chapter of the book, to have less pain, more energy, feel happier, and not just eat this and do nothing else. If you haven’t got your copy yet, get it now, before it’s too late and you end up in pain with no remedy to get your life back on track. Here is the link https://amzn.to/2DuR9nn
I know you are probably thinking why can’t I just tell you the ingredient. But I made the mistake of telling one asexual person about the ingredient without them getting the overall holistic plan which is provided by each chapter of the book. Which includes foods not to eat that are killing your energy. So they can’t live life to the fullest, because they still have a lack of energy by eating the wrong foods that zap their energy. It’s not their fault. You don’t know what you don’t know. And now I feel bad, like it’s my fault, as I really wanted to help them, but realise I didn’t. So I won’t share it again out of context. Amazon usually refund you as per their policy, if you don’t feel you learn anything from the book and aren’t happy for any reason with it, so you have nothing to lose anyway.
Even if you don’t have Fibro, it can still help to reduce your pain and give you more energy, so you feel happier, https://amzn.to/2DuR9nn And I do talk about asexuality in a chapter of the book, so tell your friends to help spread awareness of asexuality too.
7 Steps How To Get Started With Asexual Dating A Step-By-Step Guide
Some asexuals have never dated before in their life, or are inexperienced at it. If that sounds like you, or you just want some help with asexual dating, read on…
7 Steps How To Get Started With Asexual Dating
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Join Facebook dating groups for asexuals. Be aware that although my asexual dating groups should have only asexuals in them, some other asexual admins, aren’t so strict with who they allow in their groups, and you might find some sexuals in them, so use careful questioning to determine if they are asexual and if they would be suitable for you, when you get someone approach you, or when you message someone from those groups. Post a post introducing yourself and keep posting every so often as new members are added. Remember to say where you live, what type of asexual you are, what type of relationship you are looking for, and with what gender – including any and all. Whether you are a mover or non-mover – In other words can you move or not? And say a bit about your hobbies and interests, so someone has got something to talk to you about if they approach you. For example, I am Sandra, I live in the UK, I am a heteroromantic asexual, a non-mover, so need to find someone who would move to live near me. I am a heteroromantic asexual and I live in the UK, I am looking for a highly romantic, lots of kissing, with no sex ever relationship, with an asexual guy. I am a non-mover. I don’t want marriage or kids, and I prefer to live on my own, but would love the right asexual guy to move to live near me, but not with me. I have a preference for younger foreign guys, in their 20s, especially Indian. I love writing, going to the cinema, out for meals, to theme parks, zoos, and aquariums. Must be a non-smoker, and preferably clean shaven.
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Join Asexualitic.com fill out your bio on your profile as full as possible. You can copy and paste what you posted in the Facebook dating groups, into your profile on this site. Add more as you feel necessary. The more information the better. Check out the group forums as they can often be more active that the rest of the site. Search “Members”, as well as searching in the various groups and forum threads, for suitable matches for you. Remember it’s a yearly fee if you want private message people on this site. If you don’t want to pay for the site, then in your bio add “I am not a paying member of this site, so cannot private message, if I have friend requested you that’s means I am interested in getting to know you more, so please email me at… or you can also contact me on Facebook at…” Then ensure you send a friend request to those you are interested in getting to know more about, for a potential relationship. Remember, there will likely be some people who aren’t really asexual on this site. I have come across a few.
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Join ace-book.net fill out your bio on your profile as full as possible. You can copy and paste what you posted in the Facebook dating groups, into your profile on this site. Add more as you feel necessary. The more information the better. Check “Matches” and “Local Matches” to find suitable matches for you. Take part in the forums, as you never know, you might meet someone suitable for you in those. Remember, there will likely be some people who aren’t really asexual on this site. I have come across a few.
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Download aceAPP for your Android or Apple phone. Fill out your bio as much as possible, in the short amount of characters allowed, with all the key point deal breakers for you, such as; no sex, no kids, UK only. Use “Bake Cake” to swipe through suitable matches, change the “filters” as appropriate, to narrow or widen the geographical area you would consider having people match with you within, and also try the “Active Now” feature, to find suitable matches for you. Be aware there are a number of people on this App who are fake, and as well not asexual. Watch the video below to find out more what to look out for. I still think it’s worth joining as I have met two genuine asexuals from that app, who attended my in person asexual meetups.
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Be proactive, not reactive. Approach people in; the Facebook Asexual dating groups you have joined, on asexualitic.com on ace-book.net and on aceAPP. Don’t wait to get a message from others, you message them, and understand that rejection both by yourself and by others towards you, is a natural part of dating and nothing personal. It means you can rule that person out and get closer to getting the right person for you. So it’s a good thing, not a bad thing.
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Go through the “members” list for each Facebook dating group you are in, and click through the profiles of those who interest you and send a private message to begin a conversation with them – providing there are no group rules specifying otherwise. I encourage private messaging in my dating groups. Politely say you are not interested, if someone messages you, and you aren’t. Just say something like, thanks but you aren’t my type, or you aren’t what I am looking for, but good luck with your search. If you are sending them a message, and you are not friends with them, your message will likely land in their “other” messages inbox. So if you don’t get a reply within 2 days, and you notice they haven’t seen your message, send them a friend request, as if you become friends with them, they will be able to see your messages. You can always unfriend them if they accept and you find out they aren’t even suitable to be friends with you.
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If you have been messaging with someone for a while and it’s going well and you think you might be suitable for a potential relationship, have a Skype date/Video date with them. This is the next step. Always do this before meeting up with them in person. If the person refuses to do this or make excuses so they can’t do it for some reason, move on. It’s not worth risking your safety over. It’s a lot easier to find genuine and serious people, if you ask to video chat, they should be happy to. It shouldn’t be too much trouble to learn how to video chat, or learn together. Skype dating/Video dating, as opposed to a chat with a friend on video, is all about asking questions to find out if they are suitable for you to be in relationship with them. You should be asking the tough questions very early on, the deal breakers, so you have the least amount of attachment to them, so it doesn’t matter if either of you need to move on and you don’t waste each other’s time. Ask specific questions but make them general. So if for example, you are an asexual who wants kids, ask that person what their view on having kids is, despite being asexual. Don’t ask, I want a kid, do you want one with me. That will likely either frighten them off, or they might say yes, just to be polite, or because they are telling you what they think you want to hear. And neither of those is good for you. If they say they want kids, ask them, would that be by natural means or other? Again, this is a very specific question, but you are asking it in a non-pressurising way. Ask what they think of marriage, not would you want to marry me, when you barely know each other, and be aware of anyone who talks about getting married early on, as it could mean they want marriage for a visa. Ask where they see themselves in 5 years time; in terms of where they will live, what job they will have, what their ideal relationship will look like. This way you can compare your needs, wants, goals, ambitions and dreams, for the future, with theirs, in your mind, to determine if there is any likelihood this person may be suitable for you for a long-term relationship. After the Skype date/Video date, you can decide if you would like to do it agin or not. And if they are bad for you, you can say to them part way through or early on, that you aren’t compatible, but thank them for their time, or not as the case might be, and you can end the conversation there and then.
Above all, look at asexual dating, as a journey of discovery, and not something to be scared of. It should be as enjoyable as possible.
Share this post now, with anyone who needs help with asexual dating.
As always, stay ace.
Sandra xx
P.S. If you want to watch the full length video of these 7 Steps How To Get Started With Asexual Dating, filmed as a Live Stream, you can see it here:
How To Boost Your Immune System And Use It To Help Prevent Coronavirus!
If you didn’t already know, besides being a heteroromantic asexual, I have Fibromyalgia! Besides being known as – Asexualise, I am also known as ACE (Asexual) Fibro Girl. I know some other asexuals also have fibro and I mention Asexuality in my Fibromyalgia Self-Help Handbook. Stress causes more Fibromyalgia pain and makes you more susceptible to viruses because it lowers your immune system! 😷
👉Which is why, with the Coronavirus, it’s more important than ever to decrease your stress levels and in this post I will explain exactly how to do this. Read this post, even if you don’t have fibromyalgia, because it’s so important to safeguard your immune system against this deadly virus! So read on 👉👉👉👉👉👉👉👉👉
Stress causes more Fibromyalgia pain and makes you more susceptible to viruses because it lowers your immune system! 😷
👉Which is why, with the Coronavirus, it’s more important than ever to decrease your stress levels and in this post I will explain exactly how to do this. So read on 👉👉👉👉👉👉
👉This is my one top tip for today, and the days to come, especially for combatting getting Coronavirus.🤒😷
You must decrease your stress levels in multiple aspects of your life! If you want to decrease your fibro pain and decrease your likelihood of getting more sickness or disease.👇
So many people with fibro are looking for an outside cure.👀
So many people with fibro are looking for the next pill to pop to decrease their pain.👀
They don’t see that the answers are within their self. 👀🙄
And the more responsibility you take for your own life and pain, the less pain you keep locked within you! And the less pain you feel as a result! 🤗
Fibromyalgia is an autoimmune condition, which means now, with the Coronavirus, it’s more important than ever, to decrease our stress levels in multiple aspects of our life and focus on having fun, relaxation, and not going into panic overdrive mode! Otherwise we increase our chances of becoming sick 🤒😷
Stress is the ONE thing you really need to decrease, if you want to prevent getting more diseases, illnesses, sickness, infections. 🤧🤒
So make two lists.
One list with everything that makes you feel relaxed, happy, smiley. Such as:
🛀Taking a hot bath.
🧘♀️Doing meditation, or just closing your eyes to your favourite music.
👀Watching your favourite movies.
💃Dancing around your home to your favourite tunes.
💬Messaging a favourite friend.
💌Emailing a loved one.
👉Whatever it is, make your list now and make sure you are doing 1-3 of these things each and every day.
The more stress you feel you have in your life, the more of these things you should be doing to decrease your stress levels and boost your immune system back up. 3 per day minimum is what I recommend. Never go a day without doing one of them. You owe it to yourself to put your health first. The more you take care of yourself, the more you can look after others. So it’s a win, win! 🤩😍
👉👉👉👉👉👉👉👉👉👉👉👉
And a second list that focuses on each of these main aspects of your life, and the stress you feel within each of them!
👉 Relationships with yourself and with others.
💏 Love relationship.
👭 Friendships.
👨👩👧 Family.
👉 Health – not only with your fibro but other things you may have, what causes you to have the most stress with your health, be honest!
👇Is it putting others first?
👇Is it a lack of exercise?
👇Is it a toxic relationship?
👇Is it you need some extra help with your shopping, or cleaning your home?
👇Or do you just need a listening ear.👂
👇Do you need to find more things to help you relax?
👉 Finances.
Are your finances in good health or is a lack of money causing you stress?🤔😖
👉 Life mission, goals, ambitions and dreams!
As humans we need to feel like we are making progress in our life, if we are not, we feel like we are stagnating, we feel lifeless, we lack that fighting spirit and the reason we need to keep going!
Let me ask you a question… what are your life goals, ambitions and dreams right now? 🤔🤔
And don’t tell me you are in too much pain to have any, because if you are in that amount of pain, it’s exactly what you need to take your mind off your pain! You need to have a focus that is off your pain, and on what you love to do, what you want to do, and what you must do! 😍 This is essential to decrease your pain 😍
If you were to be at the end of your life right now and you wanted to know you had made your mark in the world, that you have left a lasting legacy, that you had lived your life doing everything you wanted to do, what would those things be that are a must for you? 🤔
Your fibro pain makes you know you can get through anything life throws at you, so why not use this pain to push yourself to achieve as many of your goals, ambitions and dreams, as much as possible?
👉 Your spirit and soul.
What are you doing to nourish your inner spirit and soul?
What is working for your soul? 🤔💥
And what are you doing in your life that is going against it? 😥
Have you tapped into your inner intuition lately? 🤔
Or are you not trusting your own judgement and purposefully going against your own intuition and gut feeling? And ultimately causing pain and stress to your own soul and inner being, thus increasing your fibro pain? 🤔😥
👉 Mindset.
🤔 Are you self-critical?
🤔 Hard on yourself when things don’t go right?
🤔 Don’t believe in yourself?
😥 Worst still, you don’t love, or even… like yourself!
These things will cause more stress and distress in your body and ultimately more fibro pain! This is what I mean by so many people look for an outside solution to fix an internal problem. You may not be able to cure yourself completely from fibro but you CAN still decrease your fibromyalgia pain and live a better quality of life! All these things will zap your happiness and energy too. Fibromyalgia is a result of trauma, how much ‘internal’ trauma, are you currently adding to your already inflaming volcano within you. Think about it! 🤔
Look at your own life and the multiple aspects of it, and which ones you have any stress in, then try to eliminate those stresses completely and as much as possible.🤗
You want a weapon against Coronavirus? Start by de-stressing and relaxing as a top priority in your life! Go to the top of this post and take action and do the work it takes to get you feeling better. Make a list of ways that you find relaxing and ensure you do 3 each day. Then work on your stresses in these aspects: relationships, health, finances, life mission, spirit/soul, and mindset. You need to work out what your stresses are, how to decrease them, usually by a process of eliminating them or reducing them, by taking action to do so. No excuses for not taking any action. Do your very best and then some more. If you give yourself excuses, you are keeping yourself in more pain than you need to be.
Your next weapon against Coronavirus, especially if you have #fibromyalgia, is working on what to eat and not to eat to boost your immune system and decrease your pain! 🤗
👉 Check out my Fibromyalgia Self-Help Handbook here https://amzn.to/33iDOr2for more help with how to decrease your pain, including the full list of 25 internal/external environments, you need to examine and take action in, to decrease your pain! And HOW to do that!😍
👉 This book also covers the foods to eat and not to eat, to have less pain, more energy, feel happier, and to stop that, my-legs-feel-like-they-have-been-run-over-by-a-bus, feeling! You know the one I mean!
👉 To get your copy of this pain busting book, here is the link https://amzn.to/33iDOr2This will be the best investment you have ever made to decrease your Fibromyalgia pain, or Amazon will even give you your money back, so you have nothing to lose and everything to gain!
Just remember whenever you need results in life, you need to take action and do the work it takes, but the effort will be worth it. 😍💥
World’s First Asexuality Chat Show! Asexuality Late Night Chat Show For Asexuals! Want To Get Involved? Here’s How!
I thought I was heterosexual for years, but I just didn’t like sex, as I didn’t associate sex with love, but loved to kiss. But when I realised I could no longer have sex, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it ever again, and I nearly wet myself because I was fearful of dating sexuals because of the expectation of sex at the end of the date, I knew something had to be done about it, because I felt I was the only one in the entire world, planet and universe that felt this. So I went to see a counsellor. But… it didn’t go well at all. She said the worse thing in the world, that I really didn’t want to hear. And that was if I wanted a relationship, I must have sex in order to keep a good guy. Something seemed very flawed about this perspective. If the guy was a good guy, why would he want me to do things that were not good for me, as part of a relationship with me! To me that made no sense. It was like giving a license for rape to happen, disguised as what a ‘good guy’ would be allowed to do, in order for me to keep him! This defied all my reasonable ‘healthy-for-me’ logic! So I went home and Google “I love kissing and not sex” and that is when I came across Asexuality.org and realised there were others like me who didn’t like sex, and who didn’t need it in a romantic relationship to be happy. And that’s when I discovered I am indeed a heteroromantic asexual, not heterosexual.
That was in 2014, when I first discovered I am Asexual. Back then, I couldn’t talk about sex publicly or about my past sexual relationships publicly. I had almost given up completely on the idea of having a relationship and dating ever again. And my past relationships weren’t great, but the opposite.
In October 2015, for Asexual Awareness Week, I decided to get out of my comfort zone, open up about past sexual relationships, and announce to the world, that I am in fact, a heteroromantic asexual! On my www.youtube.com/asexualisemyasexuallife channel. It took me awhile to get used to speaking openly on my channel, but when I received comments from viewers, that they found my videos helpful and they were glad they found my channel, it made me happy to continue to create and upload videos and I decided to not copy other asexuality channels, just to become popular, but to share my own asexual life journey in order to help others, to empower asexuals to be comfortable and confident with their own Asexuality, and to educate others! Little did I know back then, how this channel would grow into the unique Asexuality late night chat show it is today!
In 2017, I published my first ever book for Asexuals, called Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories, Love, Life and Sex, ACElebration of Diversity, under my own publishing imprint of Quirky Books. Little did I know at the time, just how popular this book would be and continues to be, to this day. Helping asexuals, those who lack sexual attraction, and who are a recorded 1% of the population, to know there are others like them in the world, who don’t get the need, urge, or want, for partnered sexual intercourse, and to know it’s okay, you are not alone and that sex does not equal love, and it is possible to live, love, and be happy, without sex forever, in a loving, happy, and healthy relationship, be it romantic or platonic, or if you don’t ever want to be ‘in a relationship’ it’s okay! (I am currently working on my second book for asexuals which will be published in 2020, with 4 more books planned for asexuals. Each book focuses on different topics, within the asexual spectrum!)
In July 2018, I wanted to do something special for Asexual Perspectives Awareness Month, so I started to live stream on my channel, every day, for 31 days. But when the 31 days was over! I got the bug for live streaming. I realised how many more asexuals I could help, rather than in private message one-on-one, if I just let anyone and everyone ask me questions directly in the live stream chat. I could offer something unique, that no other asexuality channel was offering. A way to get instant answers about asexuality, about my own life experiences, and to help other asexuals to overcome depression, like I had done in 2012; lower their anxiety, and get a better mindset and a better quality of life! Fast forward to today, and I am still live streaming daily, but now it’s evolved into being an online daily late night chat show which at its heart, is a Personal Development and Personal Growth channel for Asexuals, and the world’s first of its kind. Specialising in, Asexuality/Surviving and thriving as an asexual in this highly sexualised world, Dating/Relationships, Spirituality/Mindset, Personal Growth/Self-Love. These days, it’s not uncommon for many (not all), of my streams to last over an hour, sometimes two, and the odd occasion has even been over 3 hours long. All of that time has been spent helping asexuals for free, and allies, who also form part of my regular viewership. So on average 7-14 hours a week! My live streams most often start after 11pm UK time.
I have been learning about personal and professional development since 2012. I have also been heavily involved in the Asexual relationships and dating scene, with being on Asexual dating sites since 2014, running 3 Asexual dating Facebook groups, and learning a lot more about healthy dating and relationships dynamics since studying a pattern changing course in 2013, and subsequently learning much more in the last couple of years. I am keen to help as many asexuals as possible to develop long-lasting healthy friendships and relationships, with life, with love, with others, and with yourself. To help grow you as an individual and realise your true potential and beauty, in your own uniqueness.
I would love you to join my channel community, if you think this is something you could benefit from, please subscribe at www.youtube.com/asexualisemyasexuallife, and hit the bell icon so you get notified whenever I go live, which is usually each and every day, unless for some reason I am staying away from home and have no access to live streaming, such as over Christmas Day, Boxing Day and New Year’s.
10 Ways How To Stop Feeling Lonely At Christmas
Christmas can be a lonely time for many asexuals, especially if all your friends are partnered with other people, are seeing their families, and if you feel you don’t quite fit into your own family dynamic or have the Christmas spirit within you.
First of all, you don’t have to be religious to celebrate Christmas, you can just love celebrating life and the fact you are living. You can make Christmas you very own special time, to just enjoy the festive break and make it a happy occasion for you.
Here are 10 Ways How To Stop Feeling Lonely At Christmas!
- Fill your day with things you love to do, whether that is going for a walk, watching your favourite movies one after the other, or reading a book. Christmas time is a chance to make time to do what you love and to make yourself feel great about being you and your life.
- Go out on a self-date to a local restaurant or pub, many are open for the Christmas period, as it tends to be their busiest time. You don’t have to drink alcohol to have a great time.
- Treat yourself to something nice, whether that is your favourite chocolate bar, your favourite perfume, or a bubble bath. Spoil yourself.
- Connect with others on social media, by phone, video chat or text. Especially with others who are on their own and also may be feeling lonely. Post on social media, such as on Facebook, and especially in asexual groups, asking if anyone else would like to message, phone, or video chat with you. There’s bound to be someone who feels the same way as you.
- Change your state to one of happy, positive and upbeat, so you are enjoying yourself and having fun, rather than focusing on being alone. Play your favourite video games that make you feel great, dance around your home to your favourite tracks, watch motivational and inspirational videos on YouTube. (Also comment on YouTube videos and have comment chats with other YouTubers by replying to their comments!)
- Use this time for learning. Watch educational videos that teach you a new life skill, or take an online course, so you keep your mind occupied and off the feeling of being lonely.
- Go and visit a friend, relative, or go and see someone else, such as an elderly person, who is also on their own at Christmas and make their Christmas feel special.
- Look for meetup groups on https://www.meetup.com that meet up on Christmas Day, Boxing Day – they do have some, and be prepared to travel to them to be around other people.
- Book a trip away. Being in different surroundings, can be invigorating and re-energising – Making you feel great!
- Do something productive. Write that book you have always been wanting to write. Write in your journal. Write your goals for next year with a plan of how to achieve each one. Write that blog post you have always been wanting to write but not had the time for – or start a blog for free, if you haven’t already at www.wordpress.com Then look for other blog posts in your ‘Reader’ feature, allow other people to follow you, and follow other bloggers and comment on their posts and on other people’s comments, to make blogging friends, so you always have someone to chat to online.
I hope you have enjoyed reading this article about 10 Ways How To Stop Feeling Lonely At Christmas, if you have, give it some like love. If you have any other ideas, please share them below.
Wishing you a fabulous and very Happy Christmas.
Lots off acey love
Sandra xxxxxxxx