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Asexual Friends Meetups For Asexual Awareness Week – ACE WEEK #aceweek2022

Have you every wondered what it’s like to hang out with asexual friends in person and what asexuals get up to with all the sex they’re not having? If so, you’re going to love this post.

Yes, not every asexual is sex repulsed, some asexuals do have sex, but for those of us who don’t, you might want to know what fun, non-sexual activities we get up to.

So in this post, I’m going to share with you, what I got up to with my bestest asexual friend Sammie for their 40th birthday and my close asexual friend Vanessa who is 21.
Both of these people are important to me and I am very thankful and grateful for them in my life.

Me and Sammie have known each other since 2017 and became best friends upon the first time of meeting in 2018, and Vanessa I met at an asexual meetup this year in my city, which I orgnanised. After my best friend Andy was too sick to meet up with me for my birthday in April, Vanessa came with me to the Aquarium for it, and I instantly got on really well with her and we became good friends and have since become even better friends, the more we have got to know each other. Because I reprogrammed my mind to be like 21 years old and I live like a teenager on purpose, I like going to a lot of the same places as Vanessa and as Sammie is really young too – they look like they are in their 20s, we like doing enjoyable, young, fun, things together too.

So on 28th October, for Sammie’s 40th Birthday:

* We went to a cafe in the morning.

* Then to a pub for a drink and gift giving (see photos).

* Then we ate in Nandos.

* Then we went to War Of The Worlds Immersive Experience, which was scary and fun. (See photo.)

* After that we drank in the bar and Sammie had a birthday cocktail (see photos below).

* We ate after then in East Street Thai Restaurant πŸ˜‹

* It was an ACE day.

* And even more ACE as we are both asexual in sexual orientation. We are both sex repulsed and naked repulsed. And it was Asexual Awareness Week. Watch the video

On 30th October, I went to Vanessa to Brean theme park, rode some amazing rides and enjoyed eating delicious foods. Check out these photos.


Watch these videos to see more of Sammie’s 40th Birthday.

Watch these videos to see more behind the scenes footage of Brean Theme Park.

I really loved spending time with my asexual best and close friends for Asexual Awareness Week #aceweek2022 and having a lot of non-sexual asexual fun together. Which proves you can live a very happy life without sex, full of excitement and enjoyment. My life is never boring.

Always stay ACE 

Sandra xx

WIN VIP TICKETS TO AUTHOR WRITER SPEAKER PODCASTER BOOTCAMP – LESS THAN 7 HOURS TO GO – DON’T MISS THIS

Writer,Speaker, Podcaster Bootcamp

LESS THAN 7 HOURS TO GO – enter here https://rfr.bz/M4od4c9 Are you an Asexual Writer? An Asexual Podcaster? An Asexual Creative? Or an asexual who is into personal development and self development?

Are you an asexual writer who struggles to get book sales, to grow your YouTube channel or podcast?

Or are you an asexual who gets fed up and bored with life and you think there must be more to it and you want to have new experiences and learn some new skills?

If you answered yes to any of the above, then you’ve come to the right place.

If you’re unfamiliar with me and this blog, I’m asexual in sexual orientation and I’m known as the Asexual Entrepreneur.

I’ve been a published Author since 2015, and I specialise in books for asexuals and asexuality since 2017.

I was also a speaker at the UK Asexuality conference in London, in 2018.

I love learning, developing and growing myself into the best version of me and I started to study personal and professional development in 2012, which was when I went to my first ever business seminar in London. It was only then, did I begin my self love journey.

Prior to that time I had suffered with depression, I didn’t like myself or my life.

It was only when I went to that first business seminar, that I began to value myself and my own worth. I realised all the skills, experience, and knowledge I had learnt over the years, that I could use to help others and enrich their lives.

That was the start of my self love journey and my entrepreneur journey. I realised the entrepreneur journey wasn’t easy, and if people did that journey just for money, it would be short lived. I realised the entrepreneur life was one which was truly life transforming, as it required me to get out of my comfort zone, stretch me, and give me purpose and meaning in life, when I had none before.

I feel in part, that I owe my life to entrepreneurship, because it’s not about the money, but about the journey and the person you become in obtaining things you never felt possible before. It’s the journey that truly changes your life.

So I want to be able to help you to truly transform your own life if you’re not happy with it, if you feel stuck, depressed, insignificant – because you are NOT insignificant, you matter and you matter a lot.

That’s why I do this blog, and it’s why I would love for you to win one of these VIP tickets to this Bootcamp, because I believe it will be a truly transformational life experience like no other (I went to the last one and it was mind-glowingly good) and there is still time to get your entry in.

As this is a competition that’s been launched with less than 48 hours to enter, it means there is less entrants than if it had run for a week, so there is more chance of you winning, and you get 2 chances of winning as there are 2 VIP tickets up for grabs, which are free for you if you win one of them (value is CA $145).

So don’t delay, enter now, as the competition closes tonight, Tuesday 11th of October, at 11.59pm BST (GMT + 1). Go here to enter https://rfr.bz/M4od4c9 you can enter with name and email, or enter via Facebook.

All VIP ticket holders get full access to the replays for free in a private members area after the event, so if you can’t attend all 3 days of the Bootcamp this weekend, Fri 14th – Sun 16th of October, you can watch them afterwards, no problem.

I’m attending all 3 days of this Bootcamp, I marked out time on my calendar for it ages ago when I bought my ticket (I got 2 for the price of 1 tickets on an early bird deal – hence why in effect I bought one of the VIP tickets for you.) But I paid for mine, I didn’t get it for free. Because I still think it’s worth paying for, that’s how fabulous the last one was, and I paid double the price I paid for the first one.

Watch the video below if you want to see everything that’s included in the Bootcamp, and enter the competition here https://rfr.bz/M4od4c9

The more you share the Bootcamp with a link you get when you enter, the more points you receive, and the higher number of points you get the more chances you have of winning.

Just imagine one of these VIP tickets could be yours. Enter now here https://rfr.bz/M4od4c9 with less than 7 hours to go, I wouldn’t overthink it, I would just do it, because you have nothing to lose and a whole lot to gain.

* More happiness.
* More fulfillment.
* More joy.
* More abundance.
* Increase your life skills.
* Increase you business skills which are transferable.
* Make new connections you can just vibe with.
* Gain new potential partnerships.
* Be around like minded people who lift you up and validate your value.

Or at least that is how the last Bootcamp was for me, and I believe this one can be for you too. I got podcast interviews from it, about my asexuality, which was super valuable for me and the asexual community, bringing asexuality to a whole new entrepreneur audience. You don’t have to be an entrepreneur to enter though, you just have to want to attend and enjoy it, and be willing to learn to get the most and best out of it.

So enter now, here https://rfr.bz/M4od4c9

And if you win, I will see you there.

Much love as always, Sandra xx

How I Met And Spoke To Queen Elizabeth II

When I met Queen Elizabeth

Yesterday, I woke up crying, as it was Queen Elizabeth’s funeral. May her soul rest in peace.

In 2013, I was fortunate enough to meet and speak with HM Queen Elizabeth ll at St James’s Palace in London. So I felt I had some personal connection to her.

In the early hours of yesterday before I went to sleep, I went live on my Asexualise YouTube channel to tell the full story of how I met Her Majesty The Queen. You can view this episode by watching the video below, or by clicking through the link here https://youtu.be/sto9lXLt_N8 (Trigger Warning suicide mention!)

It was January 2013, around 7pm, whenΒ I had finished work and was on my way home, thatΒ I saw someone walking across theΒ bridge at the end of Fore Street in my city of Exeter, in the UK.

She wasΒ looking down over the edge, and looked like she was about to jump.

I walked towards her softly so as not to startle her.

WeΒ got into conversation about why she wanted to end her life.

I thought it was because of a particular reason and I was correct. A reason I cannot divulge, to respect her privacy.

She agreed I could phone the police, as I held her up against the rock faceΒ by one handΒ and phoned theΒ police on my mobileΒ with the other hand.

The police called for an ambulance.

But by the time I hadΒ got her to change her mind about jumping, she had crept down the rock face too far to get back up and she had drunk too much alcohol for me to pull her back up as she was too heavy, and I would have gone over her head first into the water under the bridge as it was flooded because of the rain.

I was unableΒ to continue to hold her upΒ asΒ she was not able to hold herself against the rock face any longer, andΒ she plummeted into the water head first.

Still with the police on the phone, I rushed across the bridge and down the bank and straight into the water with my coat and work suit on and lifted her head and nose out of the water so she could breathe.

I saw her in the hospital the next day, with a dislocated pelvis and damage to her arm. But she was alive and would recover in 6 months.

But by April, sheΒ was walking again using a stick, as we met up.

And some time later she fully recovered.

This article below, was in my local paper for saving her life.

Sandra refused to let bridge jumper die

I was a Health Buddy at the time for community service volunteers (CSV) in association with BBC Radio Devon.

CSV Certificate Of Achivement For Saving Someone's LIfe

They gave me a certificate of achievement for saving her life.

And the person whose life I saved, put me forward for a Good Citizen’s Award, which Devon and Cornwall Police gave me at an awards ceremony.

That year it was CSV’s 50th Anniversary, so I was one of only 4 members of CSV South West region, to be invited to St James’s Palace to meet and speak with HM Queen Elizabeth II. Only 2 out of the 4 got chosen to speak to her, and I was one of those people. The other person had left their position at CSV, so did not go.

Invitation to St James's Palace

 

Meeting and speaking to Queen Elizabeth

Sandra Met HM Queen Elizabeth

I told Queen Elizabeth that I was a Health Buddy for CSV and I got a Good Citizen’s Award for savings someone’s life.

She said, “That’s Good.”

As her husband was alive but poorly at theΒ time and was meant to be there also,Β but wasn’t, I asked her how he was, and she said, “He is doing well and at Sandringham.”

That was it.

Short and sweet. Just like her.

I thought she was even more beautiful in real life, that her photos. And downΒ to Earth.

The Palace was huge and had a real throne.

I loved that time with her and the whole experience.

It’s a foundΒ memory I will cherish forever, and honour until I die and beyond.

Queen ElizabethΒ passed away at 96 years old. The same age as my Grandma,Β when she diedΒ in 2014.

Queen Elizabeth was also the same star sign as me, a Taurus, andΒ I love that.

I could not watch the funeral as it was way too upsetting for me, and one of my asexual friends arrived back in the UK, in my city,Β from Hong Kong yesterday,Β and sheΒ really needed my help to move her stuff into her new student accommodation, so I agreed.

It was good for me to help a friend who was also really happy to see a friendly and familiar faceΒ after a 13 hour flight, and delays and cancellations to public transport due to the funeral in London, rather than me satΒ blubberingΒ in my flat all day.

I also wanted to remember the Queen Elizabeth as she was.

As always, stay ACE.

Love

Sandra xx

(P.S. I realised by the time I finished writing this, I didn’t publish it until Wed 21st of Sept, at 00.50am, so saying it was yesterday I woke up crying, was factually inaccurate from when I published it, but not when I actually started to write this post. 19th of September2022, was the actual funeral day, so I woke up crying on that day.)

I Love Kissing But Not Sex – How Asexuality Transformed My Life – With Asexual Author Sandra Bellamy

I was interviewed by Catana @TransformationalArtWithCatana  about how Asexuality completely transformed my life! “I love kissing but not sex.”

It all started in 2014, when I went to see a counsellor, because I was worried that I wanted a relationship and liked kissing and romance, but I didn’t like sex, and she told me, “I’m worried about you, because if you want a good guy, you will need to have sex to keep him.”

I was absolutely horrified!

This was the worst thing I could have been told…

I thought to myself, how can any guy be good for me, if they want me to do something to me, that I don’t want to do?
To me, that’s like giving a guy a license to rape me – and that’s not happening.

It meant she was telling me I can’t get love without sex, and that my only value and worth of being in a relationship with a “good” guy, is based on if I have sex with him or not!

Not only is this sending a very dangerous message to me and anyone who is counselled by her…
… it’s the equivalent of saying that anyone who doesn’t have sex, cannot get a “good” guy, so they can’t have a “good” relationship, and aren’t worthy of love.

So what happens to all the people who are not asexual, but who can’t have sex because their disability or special needs, makes it impossible to do that and too painful???

What happens to all the impotent people in the world who can’t have sex???

Do these people also, not deserved to be loved without sex?

Do the they just end up with “bad” guys, because having sex, somehow changes a bad guy into a good guy???

I don’t think so. If they are a bad guy, having sex with them is not going to make them good.

What a load of bullshit.

And if people measure how much they are loved in a relationship by the amount of sex they are or are not having, they are valuing their own worth on how much contact they have with another person’s genitals, which they can’t control, – so there’s no wonder there are high divorced rates, broken relationships, and people feeling unloved and worthless.

So I went back home and Googled “I love kissing but not sex” and this is what happened next…

Listen closely to this until the end, and I am sure you will see how being asexual can be the best thing you ever discover about yourself, and create so many amazing life transformations, to truly enhance and empower your asexual life xx

Becoming An Asexual Entrepreneur On Dreams ARE Real Podcast Interview

As asexuality is a sexual orientation largely based on a lack of sexual attraction, it can be hard to make our own voice heard.

Especially as sexual stereotypes and societal conditioning tell everyone that it’s natural to like, want, and need sex, and that anyone who says otherwise must be lying or have something wrong with them.

People tend to discard what they don’t understand.

They tend to disregard what is considered as “not” normal.

And they tend to feel extremely uncomfortable when something doesn’t fit in with their ideology.

But I encourage you to always stand proud of who you are, and to stop listening to what other people say, that drowns out the sound of your own voice. 😍

Asexuals have as much right to speak out about how they think and feel, including if they don’t like, want, or need sex, and have the right to be taken seriously. 😍

Just because asexuality is a minority sexuality, it doesn’t mean it’s wrong and not normal.

It’s normal for SOME people to not like, want, need, or get the urge for, partnered sexual intercourse, ever. 😍

Don’t let anyone blind you into believing we are all the same – because we are not.

There ARE people who never want sex, and that’s okay. 😍

The only reason most people don’t speak out, is because other’s ridicule them and tell you, you can’t be who you are born to be.

I am here to show you, you can.

That your life is your own and that speaking up, in your own voice, is essential to live your own life dreams and no one else’s. Regardless of your sexuality.

That’s why I’m thrilled to be able to give a voice to the voiceless, and share my own asexual life journey of how I became known as The Asexual Entrepreneur and explain what it feels like to be asexual in this highly sexualised world, and how to live your asexual dreams and be your true authentic self, no matter what, on the Dreams ARE Real podcast.

Don’t miss this ACE episode by listening through either of the links below, now, and tell me what you think…

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-182-becoming-an-asexual-entrepreneur-with/id1480067188?i=1000558237426

Asexual Perspectives by Sandra Bellamy (Book Review)

I thought that I would do a review of a book written by Sandra Bellamy regarding asexuality. She has written a few books (I’ll likely review others) and is currently writing another as I write this, which should hopefully be available soon. The book I shall discuss today is β€œAsexual Perspectives, 47 Asexual Stories” with […]

Asexual Perspectives by Sandra Bellamy (Book Review)

Happy International Asexuality Day April 6th 2022 – What Is Asexuality?

 

Happy International Asexuality Day

In broad terms, asexuality is a sexual orientation that is based on the lack of sexual attraction. This means we don’t get the need, urge, or want, for partnered sexual intercourse.

Sexual attraction = being sexually attracted towards a specific person/people.
Sexual desire = desiring the sex itself.
Arousal = a feeling in your genitalia.

Asexuality is also a spectrum, ranging from those who experience zero sexual attraction, known as a “pure” asexual, to those do experience sexual attraction, only under limited, rare, or specific circumstances, or who experience it, but not enough to want to act on it – known as a “grey” asexual.

Some asexuals are sex repulsed and will never have sex and hate it, others are sex neutral and don’t care whether they have sex or not. Others are sex positive and will/do have sex.

Some asexuals hate porn and will never watch it.
Other asexuals do watch porn.

Some asexuals masturbate.
Others asexuals feel sick at the idea of masturbation and it makes them want to throw up – just like some sex repulsed asexuals want to throw up when they hear the word sex.

Some asexuals are into BDSM – even without sex.
Other asexuals can’t stand BDSM and they want to run mile even hearing those words.

Some asexuals experience arousal – others don’t.

Every asexual is valid.

Happy ACE Day.

Sandra xx

Asexualise YouTube Channel (Sandra Bellamy)

So, my friend Sandra, as well as writing Asexual Perspectives and other books, also has a YouTube channel, where she discusses, among other things, asexuality, relationships, self development and personal improvement. She often has livestreams on the channel. These can vary in duration from around 20-25 minutes up to a couple of hours, dependent on […]

Asexualise YouTube Channel (Sandra Bellamy)

Bee Movie – Asexual Character And Asexual Relationship

As I’m a personally sex repulsed asexual who also has nudity repulsion, I try to find movies to watch that have no sex in them and no nudity, and I am pleased to say that BEE MOVIE fits this criteria. (Warning spoilers to follow.)

Not only does it have no sex and no nudity, it also appears to have an asexual character who ends up choosing a relationship with a BEE over a “charming” human guy – who is far from charming but thinks he is, and is meant to be the type of guy who is popular with the women – but not this woman, who is a florist.

This no sex movie starts off with Barry the Bee graduating and about to get his first and last job for life, in the nectar/honey factory.

But when Barry realises he is expected to do the same job for life, alarms bells start ringing and Barry knows there must be more to life than just doing the same job over and over again for years. His dad used to be a stirrer and he stirred so much that he couldn’t stop stirring when he came home. Barry doesn’t want to end up like his dad and in what he sees is a dead end job for life. But his parents want and expect him to carry on the family Bee tradition and make them proud by working in the factory.

But it’s not long before Barry meets the pollen jocks whose job it is to go outside the factory to cross pollinate the flowers and one day he goes out with them to get some work experience and ends up flying into someone’s home by accident.

This is where he meets the florist who already appears to have this “charming” guy as her boyfriend – or he at least wants to be her boyfriend, and he wants to kill the bee, but she saves Barry’s life and then he goes back afterwards and commits a bee sin – he speaks to a human.

Then they end up dating. They understand each other, eat together, touch fingers, enjoy each other’s company, have great conversations, work well as a team and have lots in common and a great foundation of friendship. It’s an asexual match made in heaven. Their attraction is not of a sexual nature, but is a little romantic and platonic too. They have a deep fondness for each other and great animation chemistry.

Barry discovers that humans are stealing and selling honey and nectar for a profit and the bees are getting nothing for it, not even royalties, but are working like slaves to produce it. So he decides to sue the humans and to take them to court and wins.

He recalls all of the nectar and honey back to the factory and the factory has more than it knows what to do with, but with no where else for it to go, the factory has to stop producing any more and all the bees stop work and just don’t do much besides sun themselves.

Then… Barry admits to the florist he made a mistake when she points out that all the flowers are dying because there is no pollination or cross-pollination now the pollen jocks and the rest of the bees are no longer working, and the florist goes on her way to see the final flower show, before those last flowers die, and after she had to close her shop due to there being no more flowers.

Then Barry has an idea…

If they can bring some of those flowers back to the factory, they can cross-pollinate them and bring the other flowers back to life and start the cycle of plant and fruit life back up again.

So the florist and Barry steel the Princess and the Pea float at the festival, bust it out of the festival, go along the motorway and board a plane with the rose flowers from it.

But… the plane is going to be delayed by 2 hours due to bad weather and the roses are going to die and it’s their only hope to save the bee species and bring plant and fruit life back to the world.

So Barry goes to talk to the pilot about the delay… who then tries to kill him, and in the process the co-pilot gets knocked unconscious and then the pilot does too, and Barry has to get the florist to fly the plane while he tries to direct her with what to do…

Soon they realise the autopilot has been flying the plane, not the florist, and they feel hopeless…

But all the other bees come together – the Pollen Jocks fly up to the plane to manually take over landing it and the other bees create a flower target for landing the plane.

Once the plane has landed the Pollen Jocks promote Barry to be officially one of them and they cross pollinate the flowers and bring all the others flowers back to life and the factory starts up again, and Barry realises how important the work is of the bees and that small actions can lead to big results.

The florist reopens her shop with Barry and his name is on the shop signage, they sell bee approved nectar from it and Barry does legal services in the back of the shop as well as working as a pollen jock and using the factory to help fill shop orders.

And they live happily ever after… with the exception of the guy who wanted to be the florist’s boyfriend – but instead Barry bee won her heart for life.

I love this movie so much.

What a very beautiful no sex love story.

Watch the video above this post for my full review of this film or click here https://youtu.be/GAzo8nYoXXg

And if you want to watch more movies without sex or nudity in them, watch my entire – no sex movie no sex film reviews playlist here https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6sdIToxIi4dKvfaZf_YFraYqEMyGEzLV or click through the video below and don’t forget to subscribe to my channel and hit the bell icon, so you never miss an episode.

As always, stay ACE and BEE kind to yourself and others – BEEcause you’re ACE.

Sandra xx

5 Misconceptions And Misinformation About Asexuality

Even in the 21st century, asexuality is still not heard of by many heterosexuals, and is still deeply misunderstood.

In this post, we will discuss 5 misconceptions and misinformation about asexuality, and what the truth actually is.

Misconception And Misinformation About Asexuality Number 1:

Asexuals are people who want to be alone πŸ˜”

Whilst it is true that some asexuals like to spend time on their own, most likely because those asexuals are introverted and/or have social anxiety, other asexuals don’t like to be alone.

Saying a blanket statement that asexuals are people who want to be alone, is simply not true, asexuality is a sexual orientation. πŸ™„

Misconception And Misinformation About Asexuality Number 2:

Asexuals are people who have never had sex πŸ˜”

Whilst it’s true that some asexuals have never had sex and never will, this is not what makes someone asexual.

Asexuality is a sexual orientation that is based on a lack of sexual attraction, not a lack of action. πŸ™„

Misconception And Misinformation About Asexuality Number 3:

Asexuals are people who can’t get laid. πŸ˜”

Whilst I absolutely personally hate the term getting laid, what I hate more, is this statement implies people who are asexual are not able to get someone to have sex with them because they are unattractive. Because people associate not being able to get anyone to have sex with them (getting laid), as a sign of unattractiveness, which is utter bulls*it.

A person who is asexual, is not deemed to be so based on whether they can get someone to have sex with them or not, it’s based on if they experience little to no sexual attraction or not. Many asexuals have lots of offers of sex, but many are repulsed by the idea. Asexuals are still beautiful even if they don’t want sex. πŸ™„

Misconception And Misinformation About Asexuality Number 4:

Asexuals are people who abstain from sex. πŸ˜”

Whilst some asexuals abstain from sex, abstinence is not the same as asexuality.Β 

Those who abstain from sex, are doing so out of choice.

Asexuality is not a choice, it’s a sexual orientation. πŸ™„

Misconception And Misinformation About Asexuality Number 5:

Asexuals are people who are celibate. πŸ˜”

Asexuality is not the same as celibacy.

Unlike those who are choosing to be celibate and are stop themselves from having sex as they try to resist their urges for it, asexuality is not a choice, and asexuals are not people who are forcing themselves to refrain from having sex. As they don’t experience the usual sexual attraction, they don’t usually have the need, urge, or want, for partnered sexual intercourse in the first place, so they are not forcing themselves to not do something, which they have no need or ‘urge’ to do. πŸ™„