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Listen to my talk about asexuality on bLU Talks by clicking through the link below, My talk starts at 2:14:32.
On Friday 23rd June 2023, I had the pleasure of being a guest on bLU Talks Amplify Your Message, talking about asexuality, what it is, and dispelling the myth that asexuality is a choice – it’s not.
I share my own asexual life journey and about my specific asexuality mission; I explain how some asexuals actually feel left out of the LGBT+ community because others there who aren’t asexual, still experience sexual attraction, whereas asexuality is base on a lack of sexual attraction, and so it’s important to get it recognised as a sexual orientation in it’s own right globally too.
I explain how asexuality has literally transformed my life for the better, forever.
This video is on the bLU Talks channel. Please give it a watch here https://www.youtube.com/live/P0WYUCcWQTc?feature=share and let me know what you think. My talk starts at 2:14:32.
As always, stay ACE.
Sandra xx
You wanted NO BS dating and relationship advice inclusive of asexuality – well here it it – Asexualise Dating now has an official channel all of it’s own. So you can go straight to the heart of the matter and get all the dating and relationships advice you need in one place. Subscribe here now https://www.youtube.com/@asexualisedating and hit the bell icon so you never miss a video.
If you’re subscribed to my main channel https://www.youtube.com/asexualisemyasexuallife you will know I do a mixture of asexual information, education, entertainment and lifestyle videos. This channel includes a regular chat show where you can ask me any questions you like, live in chat. And I help asexuals with love, life, confidence, dating, relationships, self-love and self-care. As I cater for asexuals across the asexual spectrum, some asexuals who never want to date or have a relationship – feel they don’t need this kind of advice (although they can still find it interesting and some of the things I talk about are relevant to any kind of relationship – such as friendships, so it’s still extremely helpful and valuable advice). Whereas other asexuals want more of these types of videos.
Some of my most watched videos on my main channel are my dating and relationships advice ones. And I did a survey to find out how many people would be interested in a new channel dedicated to just dating and relationships and an overwhelming majority said yes they would, so here it is.
Watch the intro video above and the videos below, and don’t forget to subscribe. Please note, I have purposefully included my aim with this Asexualise Dating channel to incorporate sexuals as well as asexuals – this includes heterosexuals. The reason for this is to fulfil my life mission of getting asexuality recognised as an official sexual orientation in it’s own right throughout the globe, so that no asexual lives in fear of ridicule ever again. I believe the only way of fully achieving this is to get the acceptance of the majority world population sexual orientation – that is heterosexuals, to make real and lasting impactful change on a world-wide scale.
There is lots of work being done, not just by me, but by many other asexual activists to unite asexuals with each other and to provide a relatable sense of community, but we don’t need to convince each other that asexuality is real and exists, we know it does. Where we need to make a change is within the heterosexual community and general population at large – which is where I come in…
I have been in heterosexual relationships for over half of my life, and I had my first asexual relationship at just 6 years old. I was passionately kissing my boyfriend at that age!!!! And he wanted to do sexual exploration and I felt really uncomfortable and invaded as I knew it was wrong. At 17 years I saw the college counsellor and told her about this and she didn’t understand why I was so upset about it and she dismissed and invalidated my feelings by saying it was just “doctors and nurses” and normal, but I knew it wasn’t. I thought I was heterosexual for years, but it’s clear looking back at that moment, that I was born asexual but didn’t realise it. That didn’t stop me having other heterosexual relationships in my teens and for years to come and I’m an asexual who has had sex in the past, because that’s what I thought I had to do as part of a “normal” relationship, I didn’t realise I had a choice not to do that and that there were others in the world like me, until I discovered I’m asexual in 2014. As I write this, I’ve currently been sex free for coming up to 12 years – thank God, that makes me so happy.
However, I still haven’t found my asexual soulmate who I believe is Indian – I’ve been on the dating scene now since 2014 – that’s 9 years and I’ve learnt a lot in that time, both about the people on dating sites and dating apps, how to actually get dates and how to avoid getting into a relationship with an abuser or narcissist. I’ve learnt about love languages, attachment styles, how childhood trauma can affect relationships, about consciousness and ego and about what’s game playing and what isn’t, and now I can use all of this experience to help asexuals and help sexuals to be better too. So I can bring both asexuals and sexuals together, to foster understanding and help asexuals come out as their beautiful selves by enabling sexuals to accept asexuality is very real and that we offer valuable and unique insights into dating and relationships, which are worth knowing about.
Please watch these videos below, like, share, and be sure to subscribe here https://www.youtube.com/@asexualisedating
Being asexual is a unique and valid sexual orientation but it can come with a lot of difficulties and challenges as you buck the norm of societal thinking and expectations. So it’s important to prioritise your well-being throughout your asexual journey, in order to feel good about yourself, your life, and your sexual orientation of asexuality.
In this blog article, I want to share and explore with you, 10 essential tips that can help you stay healthy, happy, and fulfilled, as an asexual individual. Whether you’ve recently discovered your asexuality or have been identifying as asexual for a while, these tips will provide guidance and support for maintaining your well-being. 
Embrace your asexuality as a valid part of who you are. Recognise that your feelings and experiences are real and valid, and give yourself permission to fully accept and embrace your identity.
Connect with the asexual community, either online or in person, to find a supportive network of individuals who share similar experiences. Engaging with others who understand and validate your asexuality can provide a sense of belonging and support.
Take the time to educate yourself about asexuality and its various nuances. Learning about different asexual identities, experiences, and resources, can help you gain a deeper understanding of yourself and empower you to navigate discussions about asexuality with confidence. You can take my FREE Asexuality Basics For Beginners Course here https://asexualise-academy-courses.thinkific.com/courses/asexuality-basics-for-beginners-introduction-to-asexuality
Open and honest communication is key in any relationship. Express your boundaries, desires, and needs to your friends, family, and potential partners. It’s important for them to understand and respect your asexuality to maintain healthy relationships with you.
Prioritise self-care activities that promote your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Engage in activities that bring you joy, relaxation, and fulfilment. This might include hobbies, self-dating, mindfulness practices, exercise, or spending time with loved ones and friends. 
If you’re facing challenges related to your asexuality, consider seeking professional support. A therapist or counsellor who is knowledgeable about asexuality can provide guidance, help you navigate personal struggles, and offer valuable insights. I offer coaching, and advice and support sessions, but I’m not a licensed therapist or counsellor. If you want my help, hit me up in the chat bubble.
Establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries is crucial for your well-being. Be clear about what you’re comfortable with and communicate your boundaries to others. Remember that it’s okay to say no and prioritise your own needs and comfort. This means it’s okay to say no to having any type of sex or being touched in any way you’re not comfortable with.
Take pride in your asexual identity and celebrate it in ways that resonate with you. Participate in asexual visibility events, connect with online communities, or express yourself through art, writing, or other creative outlets.
While it’s important to connect with the asexual community, it’s equally valuable to have supportive allies in your life. Allies are individuals who may not be asexual but understand, respect, and support your identity. Cultivate relationships with those who are accepting and willing to learn.
If you feel comfortable and empowered, advocate for asexuality and help raise awareness. Educate others about asexuality, challenge misconceptions, and promote understanding and acceptance. By sharing your experiences, you can contribute to a more inclusive society.
Staying well as an asexual individual involves self-acceptance, seeking community, educating yourself and others, setting boundaries, and prioritising your self-care. Remember, you deserve to live a fulfilling and authentic asexual life. By implementing these essential tips, you can enhance your well-being and embrace your asexual identity with confidence and pride.
Embrace your journey and know that you are not alone – a supportive community awaits you.
If you’re not a member of my YouTube community, click the video below now, and subscribe and hit the bell icon to join an empowered community of asexuals and allies, who support one another, and help you to keep feeling ACE! Plus, you get an opportunity to ask me any questions you like about asexuality, in live stream chat or comments. Join me and other like-minded individuals here https://www.youtube.com/live/orc-8mI0p-Q?feature=share
As always, stay ACE.
Sandra xx
Being Asexual can be really tough for some people and for others it’s no big deal. So why is that?
A lot of factors can come into play, from how you’re treated individually by your family, friends and acquaintances, teachers, authority figures, to society in general.
You may feel like you just don’t fit in, like you are an alien speaking another language, that something is broken within you, or missing, and that you are somehow less than other people and lacking in some way, but this simply isn’t true.
While you have every right to feel that way and you are definitely not alone as I have come across a number of asexuals who feel at least some of these things, if not all of them, I want you to know there is nothing missing, or broken, or wrong with you, because it’s how you were made, how you are wired, and it’s A OKAY to be wired differently to the majority.
Being a minority is not something to be feared but to be embraced, it means you are different and even more unique than others and that is a beautiful thing.
Life would be incredibly boring if we were all the same.
I know you may be worried about what other people think, but it doesn’t matter what they think, because whatever they say, it doesn’t stop you being asexual, it doesn’t change who you are, and their opinion of you is not more important that your own or who you truly are. They can’t change your sexuality, even if they disapprove of it or choose not to accept it, it’s actually their problem, not yours. You can’t control the actions of others. their thoughts, feelings and emotions, but you can choose how you react to them. So I would encourage you to respond with “your opinion of me, does not dictate my reality” and “my asexuality/sexuality is not up for debate”. Because it doesn’t whatever they say, you can’t help being you and you don’t need to apologise for who you are, nor do you have to feel you are not worthy of acceptance, love, care and respect, because you are, just as much as heterosexuals are or any sexuality is.
If you don’t have sex in a relationship, you have plenty of other qualities to offer, such as being kind, caring, thoughtful, considerate, loyal, intellectual, good conversationalist, creative, have shared interests etc, you genuinely care about the person and you love them for them who they are, not for their genitalia, you are good company and can be an amazing support to that person emotionally. It’s only people who value their relationship based on how much sex they are or or not having that would judge you as worthy of a relationship or not, based on if you have sex or not, as that’s their main criteria, in which case it’s going to be a shallow relationship if that is the main or only thing they care about, you have so much more to offer than sex. Having sex doesn’t make someone worthy of a relationship or not, lots of people have sex and cheat or get cheated on, or get divorced.
You are precious and your life is precious, no person in the world is worth more than yourself, we are all equally important people in life, and if someone does not accept you for who you are, that’s up to them, but please don’t allow them to make you feel any smaller and less than you are, because no one is better that you and their judgement is just that, their judgement and opinion, they don’t speak for everyone. And as you have probably realised, these people who judge people and can ‘t accept others for who they are, are reflecting their own sense of uncomfortabilities and insecurities onto you.
People fear what they don’t understand. They fear the unknown and they fear what they are not used to and even the concept of not experiencing sexual attraction is too much for some people to bare, as it wipes out a lot of what they were taught since birth. They don’t realise how they have been conditioned by society to believe that heterosexuality is the ‘normal” sexuality and that “everyone should be having sex to be happy and healthy” but as we know just because some people have sex, it doesn’t mean to say it makes them happy and a lot of unhealthy people have sex. This could be unhealthy in terms of lifestyle, environment, life choices, physicality, mindset, or other.
Having sex doesn’t make someone a happier or healthier person if they they don’t like it, don’t need it, and don’t want to do it, and an unhappy or healthy person can’t be changed to become happy or healthy just by having sex. A depressed person will quickly go back to being depressed after the high of sex has worn off.
My point is, it’s A OKAY to be you. It’s A OKAY to be different. And I would encourage you to embrace your difference as your beauty because it will help you feel more comfortable being your asexual self.
Always remember, you have as much right to be asexual as someone does to be heterosexual, pansexual, bisexual, homosexual, all sexualities are equally valid and no one should put themselves on a pedestal claiming their sexuality is the one to be. Everyone has the right to be proud of their own sexuality, and love it the most (I love being asexual more than any other sexuality I am not, because I enjoy being sex free and I like the fact I don’t like sex for me and I will shout it from the rooftops that being asexual is amazing as I love it so much, even though it makes dating and a potential relationship super difficult).
Always remember, no one has the right to dictate your own sexuality but you. You are in charge of your life no one else.
Growing up we tend to put authority figures on a pedestal and this inevitably makes it harder to accept ourselves later in life if authority figures disagree with our sexuality. But I want you to remember an authority figure’s opinion of you, is not more important than your own, and it’s not more important than you are. Their opinion of you does not change anything, it doesn’t stop you being asexual.
I would like you to practise not caring what other people or what authority figures think about you, because when you release the need to please these people; to fit in with their ideology, you will release yourself from the chains that have enslaved you for years and live a much more freeing and empowering life.
Life really is too short to be forced mentally and emotionally into an asexual hibernation, you are gorgeous, beautiful, and incredible, just for existing, everyone is valid, just for being – that’s actually the miracle of life, and you are a miracle, because you were born and you do exist. You just “be”, in your essence. The people who criticise you won’t care about you when you have gone, so why should you care about then while you’re alive? So please don’t, don’t allow these people to disturb your mental peace and inner happiness, they aren’t worth it, but you are.
Know this:
There are so many different types of asexuals with individual preferences, likes, dislikes, wants, and needs, and that’s okay, because you/we are all A OKAY.
I hope you can see now, just how vastly different and diverse the asexual community is but how our individuality is a good thing and something to embrace.
It’s better to embrace your asexual identity than resist it and discount or devalue yourself, because there are enough people in the world trying to invalidate others, without doing that to yourself. It’s up to you to validate yourself, and not rely on others to do this for you, otherwise your emotions are at the mercy of other people, and that’s not a stable situation to put yourself in, or be in.
Self-acceptance and self-love is a must for a truly ACE life where you feel A OKAY the majority of the time.
Was this article helpful? Let me know.
As always, stay ACE.
Sandra xx
If you struggle with confidence as an asexual or with your asexuality identity, these 15 things you need to know to boost your confidence as an asexual will really help you.
I hope these 15 things you need to know to boost your confidence as an asexual have helped you?
Merry Christmas and keep shining your asexual light.
And more…
This is your opportunity to get your asexual Christmas gifts for yourself and others, at a huge reduction.
Hi my ACE friends,
I was so happy to receive these kind words “You have an intuitive way of when to listen and when to speak” – from Dr Alan Simberg, who is my first interviewee on my www.youtube.com/@makemoneymakecash channel – where I’m known as The Asexual Entrepreneur.
You can listen to what he has to say, in full, in this short video testimonial below, that is just a little over a minute long.
Dr Alan Simberg gave me this glowing feedback after I interviewed him about how to make money as a therapist and how to turn a passion into a profession. He is a really lovely therapist, as well as an author and speaker.
He gives huge insights into how to live your best life both personally and professionally, and has some useful advice on how to master our emotions by looking at things in a more non-personal way, so we can be happier.
I resonated a lot with what he had to say.
In the interview you are about to watch below, Dr Alan Simberg reveals his personal story of how he overcame a fear of public speaking and how he got to where he is today, despite being put down about his capabilities and people thinking he wouldn’t amount to much.
He is a really lovely person and I was so happy to be able to interview him.
To tell you a bit about his professional background, Dr Alan Simberg, Ph.D. is certified in Applied Clinical Nutrition and is also a certified NET (Neuro Emotional Technique) practitioner. He’s a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Chemical Dependency Counselor and has 50 plus years of clinical experience, which have provided him with a wealth of knowledge and understanding, making this video a must watch.
(Trigger warning if you get affected by listening to the views of a therapist which may be different to your own therapist’s views.)
Please watch this insightful interview now, below, and it would be ACE if you would like to subscribe to that channel now too here https://www.youtube.com/channel/@makemoneymakecash Thanks xx And check out his website here https://www.lifemasterywithalan.com
Have you’ve ever wondered what does it mean to be asexual? How do I know if I’m asexual? How can I tell if I’m asexual? What is asexuality? And what is the asexual spectrum?
If the answer is yes to any of these questions, you’ve come to the right place.
Please watch this video below, which I created especially for you to explain more in-depth about what does it mean to be asexual.
This video also explains the asexual spectrum in a way which you should find easy to understand and be able to relate to in some way, including the Aro Ace spectrum within it.
To give you a starting point of what is means to be asexual and aromantic, you can read these Asexual Flag quotes below, but please watch the video above, for a more in-depth picture of what it truly means to be asexual and part of the asexual spectrum.
Watch the video below for the full explanation of what does it mean to be asexual and what is the asexual spectrum.
As always, stay ACE.
Sandra xx
It’s been over 7 years now, since I first started my Asexualise My Asexual Life Channel and boy how this channel has grown in viewership over the years – over 433,000 views and counting.
But I still feel there is so much more I can do.
When I originally started this channel in October 2015 to help other asexuals, I was kinda nervous and felt strange talking about intimate topics with strangers. Now it’s like being in a comfy arm chair, among a community of like-minded souls. I feel like it’s my hangout, where I get to inform, educate, entertain, and literally share multiple aspects of my own asexual life journey, and experience, to truly ace your own life, in terms of dating, relationships, friendships, and help to grow you in self-love, confidence, and self-esteem.
You can view and subscribe to my Asexualise channel here https://www.youtube.com/asexualisemyasexuallife
But that’s not all…
You see I also shared something else when I got started out, and that was why I started the channel – to raise awareness of asexuality, to help asexuals be comfortable and confident with their asexuality, and to educate others. And I spoke about how I can help raise awareness of asexuality on a more global scale, as I’m also in the entrepreneur space since 2012, and if I can get entrepreneurs who are the thought leaders of the world, and who are often the people with the loudest voices in the world, to know about asexuality and accept it, then it’s going to mean I can fulfil my life mission; of getting asexuality recognised as a sexual orientation throughout the globe, in it’s own right, so no asexual has to live in fear ever again.
With that in mind, I created another channel, but this one is for entrepreneurs, authors, and creatives, called Make Money Make Cash, and I recently started asking other entrepreneurs and authors to be interviewed by me, so they can explain how they make money doing what they love, so you can do the same.
On that channel I’m known as The Asexual Entrepreneur to help raise more awareness of asexuality on a global scale and I would really appreciate your support.
Here is that channel https://www.youtube.com/@makemoneymakecash and I would love to get your support by asking you to subscribe to it please? If you feel it may be at all of any interest.
I’m still editing my first interview with a fascinating person, who is an entrepreneur and author, and a licensed therapist who specialises in helping people with their relationships and addictions. He knew he wanted to help people since he was 7 or 8 years old and has some fascinating stories to share. But in the meantime there are plenty of videos on that channel about how to sell your pre-loved items for quick cash, such as on eBay, Facebook Marketplace and Vinted. Plus, if you like to write like I do, there are tips and insights into book publishing with Amazon and what mistakes to avoid. So if any of this resonates with you or interests you, or you would just like to support me in raising more awareness of asexuality, you can get started by subscribing here https://www.youtube.com/@makemoneymakecash
I still need more subs to get that channel to 100 so I can get the personalised URL on that one, and help raise more awareness of asexuality as The Asexual Entrepreneur. II did recently acquire the YouTube handle for it, which I am super happy about.
Please help me to help more asexuals by watching the video about it on my Asexualise channel here https://youtu.be/VgxAov9kc9I and clicking through the link here https://www.youtube.com/@makemoneymakecash to subscribe to that channel.
I will be publishing my first interview on there shortly, so it would mean the world to me to get that channel to 100 subs before it goes live to the world.
I think you will also find that channel very insightful. Would you be able to subscribe please? I would really appreciate it.
Enjoy checking it out, until next time, stay ACE,
Sandra xx
