How I Met And Spoke To Queen Elizabeth II

Posted on by Asexualise
When I met Queen Elizabeth

Yesterday, I woke up crying, as it was Queen Elizabeth’s funeral. May her soul rest in peace.

In 2013, I was fortunate enough to meet and speak with HM Queen Elizabeth ll at St James’s Palace in London. So I felt I had some personal connection to her.

In the early hours of yesterday before I went to sleep, I went live on my Asexualise YouTube channel to tell the full story of how I met Her Majesty The Queen. You can view this episode by watching the video below, or by clicking through the link here https://youtu.be/sto9lXLt_N8 (Trigger Warning suicide mention!)

It was January 2013, around 7pm, when I had finished work and was on my way home, that I saw someone walking across the bridge at the end of Fore Street in my city of Exeter, in the UK.

She was looking down over the edge, and looked like she was about to jump.

I walked towards her softly so as not to startle her.

We got into conversation about why she wanted to end her life.

I thought it was because of a particular reason and I was correct. A reason I cannot divulge, to respect her privacy.

She agreed I could phone the police, as I held her up against the rock face by one hand and phoned the police on my mobile with the other hand.

The police called for an ambulance.

But by the time I had got her to change her mind about jumping, she had crept down the rock face too far to get back up and she had drunk too much alcohol for me to pull her back up as she was too heavy, and I would have gone over her head first into the water under the bridge as it was flooded because of the rain.

I was unable to continue to hold her up as she was not able to hold herself against the rock face any longer, and she plummeted into the water head first.

Still with the police on the phone, I rushed across the bridge and down the bank and straight into the water with my coat and work suit on and lifted her head and nose out of the water so she could breathe.

I saw her in the hospital the next day, with a dislocated pelvis and damage to her arm. But she was alive and would recover in 6 months.

But by April, she was walking again using a stick, as we met up.

And some time later she fully recovered.

This article below, was in my local paper for saving her life.

Sandra refused to let bridge jumper die

I was a Health Buddy at the time for community service volunteers (CSV) in association with BBC Radio Devon.

CSV Certificate Of Achivement For Saving Someone's LIfe

They gave me a certificate of achievement for saving her life.

And the person whose life I saved, put me forward for a Good Citizen’s Award, which Devon and Cornwall Police gave me at an awards ceremony.

That year it was CSV’s 50th Anniversary, so I was one of only 4 members of CSV South West region, to be invited to St James’s Palace to meet and speak with HM Queen Elizabeth II. Only 2 out of the 4 got chosen to speak to her, and I was one of those people. The other person had left their position at CSV, so did not go.

Invitation to St James's Palace

 

Meeting and speaking to Queen Elizabeth

Sandra Met HM Queen Elizabeth

I told Queen Elizabeth that I was a Health Buddy for CSV and I got a Good Citizen’s Award for savings someone’s life.

She said, “That’s Good.”

As her husband was alive but poorly at the time and was meant to be there also, but wasn’t, I asked her how he was, and she said, “He is doing well and at Sandringham.”

That was it.

Short and sweet. Just like her.

I thought she was even more beautiful in real life, that her photos. And down to Earth.

The Palace was huge and had a real throne.

I loved that time with her and the whole experience.

It’s a found memory I will cherish forever, and honour until I die and beyond.

Queen Elizabeth passed away at 96 years old. The same age as my Grandma, when she died in 2014.

Queen Elizabeth was also the same star sign as me, a Taurus, and I love that.

I could not watch the funeral as it was way too upsetting for me, and one of my asexual friends arrived back in the UK, in my city, from Hong Kong yesterday, and she really needed my help to move her stuff into her new student accommodation, so I agreed.

It was good for me to help a friend who was also really happy to see a friendly and familiar face after a 13 hour flight, and delays and cancellations to public transport due to the funeral in London, rather than me sat blubbering in my flat all day.

I also wanted to remember the Queen Elizabeth as she was.

As always, stay ACE.

Love

Sandra xx

(P.S. I realised by the time I finished writing this, I didn’t publish it until Wed 21st of Sept, at 00.50am, so saying it was yesterday I woke up crying, was factually inaccurate from when I published it, but not when I actually started to write this post. 19th of September2022, was the actual funeral day, so I woke up crying on that day.)

I Love Kissing But Not Sex – How Asexuality Transformed My Life – With Asexual Author Sandra Bellamy

Posted on by Asexualise
I was interviewed by Catana @TransformationalArtWithCatana  about how Asexuality completely transformed my life! “I love kissing but not sex.”

It all started in 2014, when I went to see a counsellor, because I was worried that I wanted a relationship and liked kissing and romance, but I didn’t like sex, and she told me, “I’m worried about you, because if you want a good guy, you will need to have sex to keep him.”

I was absolutely horrified!

This was the worst thing I could have been told…

I thought to myself, how can any guy be good for me, if they want me to do something to me, that I don’t want to do?
To me, that’s like giving a guy a license to rape me – and that’s not happening.

It meant she was telling me I can’t get love without sex, and that my only value and worth of being in a relationship with a “good” guy, is based on if I have sex with him or not!

Not only is this sending a very dangerous message to me and anyone who is counselled by her…
… it’s the equivalent of saying that anyone who doesn’t have sex, cannot get a “good” guy, so they can’t have a “good” relationship, and aren’t worthy of love.

So what happens to all the people who are not asexual, but who can’t have sex because their disability or special needs, makes it impossible to do that and too painful???

What happens to all the impotent people in the world who can’t have sex???

Do these people also, not deserved to be loved without sex?

Do the they just end up with “bad” guys, because having sex, somehow changes a bad guy into a good guy???

I don’t think so. If they are a bad guy, having sex with them is not going to make them good.

What a load of bullshit.

And if people measure how much they are loved in a relationship by the amount of sex they are or are not having, they are valuing their own worth on how much contact they have with another person’s genitals, which they can’t control, – so there’s no wonder there are high divorced rates, broken relationships, and people feeling unloved and worthless.

So I went back home and Googled “I love kissing but not sex” and this is what happened next…

Listen closely to this until the end, and I am sure you will see how being asexual can be the best thing you ever discover about yourself, and create so many amazing life transformations, to truly enhance and empower your asexual life xx

Becoming An Asexual Entrepreneur On Dreams ARE Real Podcast Interview

Posted on by Asexualise

As asexuality is a sexual orientation largely based on a lack of sexual attraction, it can be hard to make our own voice heard.

Especially as sexual stereotypes and societal conditioning tell everyone that it’s natural to like, want, and need sex, and that anyone who says otherwise must be lying or have something wrong with them.

People tend to discard what they don’t understand.

They tend to disregard what is considered as “not” normal.

And they tend to feel extremely uncomfortable when something doesn’t fit in with their ideology.

But I encourage you to always stand proud of who you are, and to stop listening to what other people say, that drowns out the sound of your own voice. 😍

Asexuals have as much right to speak out about how they think and feel, including if they don’t like, want, or need sex, and have the right to be taken seriously. 😍

Just because asexuality is a minority sexuality, it doesn’t mean it’s wrong and not normal.

It’s normal for SOME people to not like, want, need, or get the urge for, partnered sexual intercourse, ever. 😍

Don’t let anyone blind you into believing we are all the same – because we are not.

There ARE people who never want sex, and that’s okay. 😍

The only reason most people don’t speak out, is because other’s ridicule them and tell you, you can’t be who you are born to be.

I am here to show you, you can.

That your life is your own and that speaking up, in your own voice, is essential to live your own life dreams and no one else’s. Regardless of your sexuality.

That’s why I’m thrilled to be able to give a voice to the voiceless, and share my own asexual life journey of how I became known as The Asexual Entrepreneur and explain what it feels like to be asexual in this highly sexualised world, and how to live your asexual dreams and be your true authentic self, no matter what, on the Dreams ARE Real podcast.

Don’t miss this ACE episode by listening through either of the links below, now, and tell me what you think…

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-182-becoming-an-asexual-entrepreneur-with/id1480067188?i=1000558237426

https://open.spotify.com/episode/4espw93YE4SfcTYMuZjRQQ?si=893897d6b8484f03&nd=1

Asexual Perspectives by Sandra Bellamy (Book Review)

Posted on by Asexualise

I thought that I would do a review of a book written by Sandra Bellamy regarding asexuality. She has written a few books (I’ll likely review others) and is currently writing another as I write this, which should hopefully be available soon. The book I shall discuss today is “Asexual Perspectives, 47 Asexual Stories” with […]

Asexual Perspectives by Sandra Bellamy (Book Review)

Happy International Asexuality Day April 6th 2022 – What Is Asexuality?

Posted on by Asexualise

 

Happy International Asexuality Day

In broad terms, asexuality is a sexual orientation that is based on the lack of sexual attraction. This means we don’t get the need, urge, or want, for partnered sexual intercourse.

Sexual attraction = being sexually attracted towards a specific person/people.
Sexual desire = desiring the sex itself.
Arousal = a feeling in your genitalia.

Asexuality is also a spectrum, ranging from those who experience zero sexual attraction, known as a “pure” asexual, to those do experience sexual attraction, only under limited, rare, or specific circumstances, or who experience it, but not enough to want to act on it – known as a “grey” asexual.

Some asexuals are sex repulsed and will never have sex and hate it, others are sex neutral and don’t care whether they have sex or not. Others are sex positive and will/do have sex.

Some asexuals hate porn and will never watch it.
Other asexuals do watch porn.

Some asexuals masturbate.
Others asexuals feel sick at the idea of masturbation and it makes them want to throw up – just like some sex repulsed asexuals want to throw up when they hear the word sex.

Some asexuals are into BDSM – even without sex.
Other asexuals can’t stand BDSM and they want to run mile even hearing those words.

Some asexuals experience arousal – others don’t.

Every asexual is valid.

Happy ACE Day.

Sandra xx

Asexualise YouTube Channel (Sandra Bellamy)

Posted on by Asexualise

So, my friend Sandra, as well as writing Asexual Perspectives and other books, also has a YouTube channel, where she discusses, among other things, asexuality, relationships, self development and personal improvement. She often has livestreams on the channel. These can vary in duration from around 20-25 minutes up to a couple of hours, dependent on […]

Asexualise YouTube Channel (Sandra Bellamy)

Bee Movie – Asexual Character And Asexual Relationship

Posted on by Asexualise

As I’m a personally sex repulsed asexual who also has nudity repulsion, I try to find movies to watch that have no sex in them and no nudity, and I am pleased to say that BEE MOVIE fits this criteria. (Warning spoilers to follow.)

Not only does it have no sex and no nudity, it also appears to have an asexual character who ends up choosing a relationship with a BEE over a “charming” human guy – who is far from charming but thinks he is, and is meant to be the type of guy who is popular with the women – but not this woman, who is a florist.

This no sex movie starts off with Barry the Bee graduating and about to get his first and last job for life, in the nectar/honey factory.

But when Barry realises he is expected to do the same job for life, alarms bells start ringing and Barry knows there must be more to life than just doing the same job over and over again for years. His dad used to be a stirrer and he stirred so much that he couldn’t stop stirring when he came home. Barry doesn’t want to end up like his dad and in what he sees is a dead end job for life. But his parents want and expect him to carry on the family Bee tradition and make them proud by working in the factory.

But it’s not long before Barry meets the pollen jocks whose job it is to go outside the factory to cross pollinate the flowers and one day he goes out with them to get some work experience and ends up flying into someone’s home by accident.

This is where he meets the florist who already appears to have this “charming” guy as her boyfriend – or he at least wants to be her boyfriend, and he wants to kill the bee, but she saves Barry’s life and then he goes back afterwards and commits a bee sin – he speaks to a human.

Then they end up dating. They understand each other, eat together, touch fingers, enjoy each other’s company, have great conversations, work well as a team and have lots in common and a great foundation of friendship. It’s an asexual match made in heaven. Their attraction is not of a sexual nature, but is a little romantic and platonic too. They have a deep fondness for each other and great animation chemistry.

Barry discovers that humans are stealing and selling honey and nectar for a profit and the bees are getting nothing for it, not even royalties, but are working like slaves to produce it. So he decides to sue the humans and to take them to court and wins.

He recalls all of the nectar and honey back to the factory and the factory has more than it knows what to do with, but with no where else for it to go, the factory has to stop producing any more and all the bees stop work and just don’t do much besides sun themselves.

Then… Barry admits to the florist he made a mistake when she points out that all the flowers are dying because there is no pollination or cross-pollination now the pollen jocks and the rest of the bees are no longer working, and the florist goes on her way to see the final flower show, before those last flowers die, and after she had to close her shop due to there being no more flowers.

Then Barry has an idea…

If they can bring some of those flowers back to the factory, they can cross-pollinate them and bring the other flowers back to life and start the cycle of plant and fruit life back up again.

So the florist and Barry steel the Princess and the Pea float at the festival, bust it out of the festival, go along the motorway and board a plane with the rose flowers from it.

But… the plane is going to be delayed by 2 hours due to bad weather and the roses are going to die and it’s their only hope to save the bee species and bring plant and fruit life back to the world.

So Barry goes to talk to the pilot about the delay… who then tries to kill him, and in the process the co-pilot gets knocked unconscious and then the pilot does too, and Barry has to get the florist to fly the plane while he tries to direct her with what to do…

Soon they realise the autopilot has been flying the plane, not the florist, and they feel hopeless…

But all the other bees come together – the Pollen Jocks fly up to the plane to manually take over landing it and the other bees create a flower target for landing the plane.

Once the plane has landed the Pollen Jocks promote Barry to be officially one of them and they cross pollinate the flowers and bring all the others flowers back to life and the factory starts up again, and Barry realises how important the work is of the bees and that small actions can lead to big results.

The florist reopens her shop with Barry and his name is on the shop signage, they sell bee approved nectar from it and Barry does legal services in the back of the shop as well as working as a pollen jock and using the factory to help fill shop orders.

And they live happily ever after… with the exception of the guy who wanted to be the florist’s boyfriend – but instead Barry bee won her heart for life.

I love this movie so much.

What a very beautiful no sex love story.

Watch the video above this post for my full review of this film or click here https://youtu.be/GAzo8nYoXXg

And if you want to watch more movies without sex or nudity in them, watch my entire – no sex movie no sex film reviews playlist here https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6sdIToxIi4dKvfaZf_YFraYqEMyGEzLV or click through the video below and don’t forget to subscribe to my channel and hit the bell icon, so you never miss an episode.

As always, stay ACE and BEE kind to yourself and others – BEEcause you’re ACE.

Sandra xx

5 Misconceptions And Misinformation About Asexuality

Posted on by Asexualise

Even in the 21st century, asexuality is still not heard of by many heterosexuals, and is still deeply misunderstood.

In this post, we will discuss 5 misconceptions and misinformation about asexuality, and what the truth actually is.

Misconception And Misinformation About Asexuality Number 1:

Asexuals are people who want to be alone 😔

Whilst it is true that some asexuals like to spend time on their own, most likely because those asexuals are introverted and/or have social anxiety, other asexuals don’t like to be alone.

Saying a blanket statement that asexuals are people who want to be alone, is simply not true, asexuality is a sexual orientation. 🙄

Misconception And Misinformation About Asexuality Number 2:

Asexuals are people who have never had sex 😔

Whilst it’s true that some asexuals have never had sex and never will, this is not what makes someone asexual.

Asexuality is a sexual orientation that is based on a lack of sexual attraction, not a lack of action. 🙄

Misconception And Misinformation About Asexuality Number 3:

Asexuals are people who can’t get laid. 😔

Whilst I absolutely personally hate the term getting laid, what I hate more, is this statement implies people who are asexual are not able to get someone to have sex with them because they are unattractive. Because people associate not being able to get anyone to have sex with them (getting laid), as a sign of unattractiveness, which is utter bulls*it.

A person who is asexual, is not deemed to be so based on whether they can get someone to have sex with them or not, it’s based on if they experience little to no sexual attraction or not. Many asexuals have lots of offers of sex, but many are repulsed by the idea. Asexuals are still beautiful even if they don’t want sex. 🙄

Misconception And Misinformation About Asexuality Number 4:

Asexuals are people who abstain from sex. 😔

Whilst some asexuals abstain from sex, abstinence is not the same as asexuality. 

Those who abstain from sex, are doing so out of choice.

Asexuality is not a choice, it’s a sexual orientation. 🙄

Misconception And Misinformation About Asexuality Number 5:

Asexuals are people who are celibate. 😔

Asexuality is not the same as celibacy.

Unlike those who are choosing to be celibate and are stop themselves from having sex as they try to resist their urges for it, asexuality is not a choice, and asexuals are not people who are forcing themselves to refrain from having sex. As they don’t experience the usual sexual attraction, they don’t usually have the need, urge, or want, for partnered sexual intercourse in the first place, so they are not forcing themselves to not do something, which they have no need or ‘urge’ to do. 🙄

Asexual Quotes About Love – Asexual Love Quotes – Asexual Love Awareness #aceweek

Posted on by Asexualise

Asexual Quotes About Love. These asexual love quotes, show you what it means to experience true asexual love, without the need for sex. Asexual Love Awareness #aceweek

Watch the Asexual Love Awareness #aceweek video above, to see more quotes about what asexual love is. Or click this link to view it https://youtu.be/cqZXpiXjJMA

 

Read more about asexual perspectives on Love, Life and Sex, in my Asexual Perspectives 47 Asexual Stories book here https://amzn.to/2Lk5en3

What’s good about this Asexual Perspectives book, is it doesn’t just give text book definitions of orientations across the asexual spectrum, it shows you them, through the 47 Asexual Stories answers to different questions about Love, Life, and Sex, and the personal details the interviewees share. It answers most questions you could think of about love, life, and sex, from an asexual point of view, including those you feel afraid to ask!! Get you copy here https://amzn.to/2Lk5en3 now.

 

What Is Asexuality? Asexual Awareness #aceweek

Posted on by Asexualise

What is asexuality? What does it mean to be asexual? What is grey asexual? What’s a pure asexual? What is the asexual spectrum?

Watch the What Is Asexuality – YouTube #shorts video above and read the asexual flags below, to find out…

 

If you are new to asexuality, or you want more help understanding the asexual spectrum, and how to navigate dating, relationships, and life, as an asexual, in a highly sexualised world, I have been helping asexual for over 6 years now on my Asexualise channel www.youtube.com/asexualisemyasexuallife that you can subscribe to, which will help you with many aspects about asexuality, and especially dating and relationships. I usual live stream daily and you can ask me anything you want in chat there.

If you are still discovering about asexuality and more about the asexual spectrum, I have a Free Asexuality Basics For Beginners course that you can sign up to here that also shows you what the asexual spectrum is www.asexualiseacademy.com

I also wrote a book and interviewed 46 asexuals around the globe and across the asexual spectrum for it, https://amzn.to/2Lk5en3 What is good about this book, is it does not just give text book definitions of orientations across the asexual spectrum, it shows you them, through their answers and the personal details they share. It answers most questions you could think of about love, life, and sex, from an asexual point of view, including those you feel afraid to ask!!